Scenario:Lowain - Playboy No More
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Playboy No More
One morning Elsam unveils an unusual hairdo and uses funky lingo. Lowain and Tomoi surmise that because a shopkeep refused to sell them premium cooking ingredients based on their looks alone, Elsam is trying to change up his image.
It all begins when the crew visits a certain remote town.
Elsam: Why, hello there, (Captain). I hope you are having a most splendid day.
Something seems conspicuously off.
Not sure how to respond, (Captain) turns to Lowain and Tomoi for assistance.
Lowain & Tomoi: ...
The two bros, having seemingly given up all hope, remain speechless.
Elsam: Oh my... I imagined you to be in an upbeat mood, but your vibes would indicate otherwise.
Lowain: Wish I could tell you, Cap'n, but we're just as clueless.
Lowain: From the moment we saw him this morning, dude was talkin' weird and had this funny hairdo—all stiff and parted on one side.
Tomoi: Word. Sammy's never been the type to use hair gel that stiff...
Tomoi: Wait, haven't we seen peeps suddenly look and act all wack before? Oh snap...
Tomoi: Sammy, don't tell me you've been gettin' yucky with yucky dark essence!
Lowain: Shoot, that darn Pommern must be lookin' for a pummelin'!
Elsam: Hahaha. Surely you jest. I assure you I have not ever frolicked with dark essence. I merely wanted to keep up with appearances.
Elsam: Which will be of paramount importance, given that I've decided to learn firsthand the ways of a CEO.
The bizarre manner of speech being spouted from Elsam's tongue continues to bewilder, with one word in particular garnering unparalleled attention.
Tomoi: Bro, he just said CEO...
Lowain: (Captain), I think we've just found a lead on Sammy's bizarro metamorphosis.
Lowain: So, like, when we went looking for blewfish fillet at the grocer's yesterday...
Elsam: So what's that blewfish thing Lowain's anglin' for?
Tomoi: Dude, it's, like, totally cray-cray macho.
Lowain: It's a fish, bro—a fish! They're poisonous and mad strong, which makes 'em ultra rare. Their taste is totally the stuff of legend.
Lowain: They're so mythical that even Kat wants a bite—which is why I've made it my life's mission to find one. And lo and behold, we've got a shop right in this town that stocks 'em.
Elsam: Dude, if that ain't love, then I dunno what is. You know, I might've read somethin' like this in a picture book once.
The bros are shooting the breeze as usual in their jaunt across town.
Lowain: Yep, that's it right there. Place is fancy as heck, and they've got good eats up the wazoo.
They step inside the grocery store.
The Trio: ...
The gorgeous interior serves as a wake-up call of sorts, reminding the trio to behave.
Lowain: Um, 'scuse me. I heard you guys sell blewfish fillet here?
The cranky shopkeep carefully appraises the bros.
Shopkeep: Who sent you, I do ask? And who is it that will be using the fine ingredients from my shop?
Lowain: Erm, well... We're the cooks of our crew.
Shopkeep: Humph... Sorry, don't think I can sell you folks my goods, I do say.
Tomoi: I-if it's rupies you want, we've got 'em in spades.
Shopkeep: No, that's not the issue. Everything you see here is a name-brand item. I only sell to reputable chefs, I do say.
Elsam: Wait up, man. Lowain definitely knows what he's doin' in the kitchen. More so than your average cook.
Shopkeep: Humph... His meager skills might pass for a municipal dining hall, I do say, but I'm talking imperial palaces and five-star restaurants.
Elsam: Why, you rotten—
Lowain: (Hold it, Sammy! We can't be goin' into Megadude Battle Mode here!)
Elsam: (You just gonna let him diss you like that?)
The trio clench their jaws at the caustic tone of the shopkeep, but this is no time to be making a scene.
As Lowain tries to pacify Elsam, another customer enters.
Vira: What are you boys doing here?
Lowain: We've run into a bit of trouble tryna stock up food for the G. Cyph's kitchen.
Elsam: This nasty dude right here says we're not good enough for his grub!
Vira: Oh? And what might the reason for that be?
Shopkeep: Sigh... To summarize, we take brand image very seriously here, I do say.
Shopkeep: That's why we sell only to the most prominent and skilled chefs. Otherwise we'd damage the reputation of our existing customers.
Vira: I see.
Vira: Then as the former Lord Commander of Albion, I assure you of their culinary prowess. Will that be sufficient?
Shopkeep: My goodness! I had no idea, I do say! Please accept my humblest apologies!
The Trio: ...
Though they've successfully acquired the ingredients they sought, the bros remain somewhat disgruntled with the shopkeep.
Lowain: Seriously, you saved our butts big-time, Vira.
Vira: No need to thank me. I simply did what had to be done in order to procure ingredients for Katalina.
Vira: Besides, I had little choice once it was established that I was acquainted with you three.
Tomoi: Man, I can't stop thinking about that weirdo shopkeep's way of talking. "I do say, I do say," bleh.
Lowain: F'real. I kept callin' the dude a Pommern lackey in my head.
Elsam: So, Vira, why do you think that Pommern copycat wouldn't take our word?
Elsam: I, like, can't wrap my head around it, ya know? I just wanna know what made him change his mind so fast.
Vira: I couldn't say for sure, but his reasoning about selling only to worthy customers seemed honest enough.
Lowain: So the dude was sayin' we royally blow?
Vira: Indeed. By his standards at least. He appeared to be judging his customers mainly based on poise and hairstyle.
Vira: Perhaps he might have treated you differently had you gone in formal wear.
Tomoi: You mean like TPO—time, place, and occasion? Hm, didn't even occur to me. You rock, Vira.
Vira: If you plan on visiting similar shops in the future, do let me know. I'll gladly lend my assistance with anything concerning Katalina.
Leaving those words behind, Vira takes off.
Elsam: Dress code, hairstyle...
C, P, O, was it?
C, P, O, was it?
Lowain: Yep, that's how the crazy thing went down and led to this.
Tomoi: My bad, (Captain)... It's all my fault for runnin' lame acronyms like TPO off my mouth...
Apprehension in their hearts, Tomoi and Lowain turn to the transformed Elsam.
Elsam: I, your dearest Elsam, have decided to officially join the PPO movement—to change myself for the better.
Tomoi: We keep tellin' him he's getting it all wrong, but Elsam's not hearin' it...
Lowain: Aw man, what a jam...
Unable to revert their friend back to his normal state, Tomoi and Lowain are listless.
Only time will tell if Elsam will ever be his brosome self again.