Scenario:La Coiffe - Simply Organic

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Simply Organic

While shopping for supplies, the crew finds a restaurant famous for its all-natural cuisine with a line out the door that stretches for miles. After sitting down and trying the food for themselves, however, the crew finds it curiously lacking. When La Coiffe expresses doubts about the restaurant's organic credentials, the owner takes it personally, dragging her and the rest of the crew to a mountain farm to absolve their doubts himself.



(Captain) and company visit an island famous for its produce to restock on provisions.
Finished with most of the purchases for the day, the crew notices a massive line forming near the main road leading back to the ship.
Vyrn: Whoa, take a look at the size of that line!
Lyria: I can't even see where it ends. What's it for?
Villager: You don't know? This is a famous restaurant that uses all-natural organic ingredients to make some of the best food you've ever tasted!
Vyrn: Organic, huh? That sounds right up your alley, scissor girl!
La Coiffe: That's right. Slightly different take on the idea, though.
La Coiffe gazes upward with a nonplussed look on her face. Far away toward the end of the line is the sign for the restaurant, apparently named Microbius.
Lyria: Let's check it out, La Coiffe! It must be good if this many people are waiting in line!
After waiting for a few hours, the crew is finally seated inside. They place their orders, hearts full of anticipation.
Pleasant smells from the kitchen accompany the arrival of an enticing plate of bread and pasta.
Each member of the crew hurriedly reaches across the table, ladles food on their plates, and takes their first bites. An eerie silence follows.
They look quizzically at each other. No one reaches for a second helping.
Vyrn: Hm, I'm not sure what to say. This organic stuff doesn't really do it for me.
Lyria: You're right, Vyrn. It's not really what I expected.
As the crew voices their disappointed reactions to the food in front of them, the owner of the restaurant hurriedly rushes to the table.
Restaurant Owner: Bwahaha! Dearest customers, you merely lack the refined palette necessary to appreciate such fine cuisine!
Restaurant Owner: I'm afraid I must ask you to leave before you besmirch the name of my restaurant any further.
La Coiffe responds calmly to the owner's unreasonable demands.
La Coiffe: If this is how you respond to unsatisfied customers, I kinda doubt your ingredients are even half as all-natural as you claim they are.
Restaurant Owner: How dare you! I have exclusive contracts with organic farms, from which I procure only the finest of all-natural ingredients!
La Coiffe: Oh yeah? How about showing me to the farm, then?
Restaurant Owner: Bwahaha! As you wish. I shall prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that my pride is as pure as mother nature herself!
The crew is led by the owner toward a farm that cultivates all-natural wheat.
Vyrn: Well, this sure got crazy in a hurry.
Lyria: Um, are you sure about this, La Coiffe?
La Coiffe: No worries. Mom and Dad taught me a very important lesson from a young age.
Lyria: What kind of lesson?
La Coiffe: Beauty starts in the kitchen. What starts organic has to end organic.
Vyrn: Hm, I'm not sure I follow, scissor girl. As usual!
Restaurant Owner: Bwahaha! You certainly seem confident, I'll grant you. But you left it up to me to prove my point.
Restaurant Owner: It's far too late to admit your wrongdoing and apologize, you know!
La Coiffe: Quiet. Do you hear that? There's a disturbance within the forest.
Restaurant Owner: A disturbance? Hold on, you! If you're trying to suggest—
La Coiffe: On your guard, everyone! Something's coming.

Simply Organic: Scene 2

La Coiffe visits the farm used by the restaurant for its organic ingredients, but finds several glaring issues with its supposedly all-natural agriculture. La Coiffe then uses her wondrous gardening abilities to purify the farm's produce.



The crew finally arrives at the farm the restaurant owner has an exclusive contract with.
As the elderly couple that runs the farm introduces themselves, they can't help but wax rhapsodic about the ethics motivating their work.
Elderly Man: Yep, better believe it! We don't use any medicine or magic here. Our crops are raised solely by the tender loving care of mother nature!
Restaurant Owner: Bwahaha! So? Still believe the hardworking farmers here to be less than truthful?
La Coiffe: I don't, actually. There are a few things I'd like to have clarified, though.
La Coiffe: First, about the compost you use here—where does it come from?
Elderly Man: Why, we mostly just use leaf mold from the nearby mountains, of course!
Restaurant Owner: You lose again, sweetheart! Everything here from the soil up is completely organic!
La Coiffe: The nearby mountains? As in, the same ones we passed through on the way here?
Elderly Man: Yes, that's right. Why do you ask?
La Coiffe: Have you realized it yet, Mr. Restaurant Owner? We ran into some guests on the way here.
Restaurant Owner: Like who? I certainly didn't notice anyone! Just thoroughly unscrupulous monsters who—
Upon uttering these words, the owner's face turns an unsettling shade of blue.
La Coiffe: It just hit you, didn't it?
La Coiffe: The nearby mountains are infested with monsters, which means the fertilizer you use is tainted with their dark magic!
Restaurant Owner: As if that could possibly have much of an effect on the final product!
La Coiffe: It's not just the compost. The fertilizer's probably got issues, too.
Elderly Woman: There couldn't possibly be any monster influence there. All our fertilizer comes from one of our barns, and gets mixed in with the compost.
Elderly Woman: If you have any doubts, you're free to see for yourself. Follow me, dearie.
La Coiffe: That won't be necessary. The barn must be packed close to bursting with livestock.
La Coiffe: I've been listening to their cries ever since we got here.
Restaurant Owner: Please. You'd hear the same thing at any farm!
La Coiffe: Stressed animals are more likely to become sick. To defend against that, you've probably mixed plenty of medicine into their food.
La Coiffe: All that medicine ends up in the fertilizer, which ends up in the compost. And that means the all-natural produce you've grown is anything but!
La Coiffe: To disguise the contamination, you have to cook it in the blandest way possible. By the time it reaches the table, the only thing that stands out is the stink.
Vyrn: Now I get it! That's why the food we had back at the restaurant was so bad!
Lyria: Wow, La Coiffe! You know so much about nature, beauty, and the fine art of cooking!
With drooping shoulders, the crestfallen restaurant owner mutters an apology to the crew.
Restaurant Owner: Oh, woe is me. Woe is us! All we ever wanted to do was create something wonderful. And here you are, trying to render it all moot.
La Coiffe: Nah. I'm here to make it beautiful.
Restaurant Owner: Huh?
La Coiffe: Hee hee! I knew you guys weren't lying. That's why I'm here.
La Coiffe pulls out a pair of massive scissors and beautifully styles the nearby wheat fields, all while firing off a barrage of hair salon lingo.
Within minutes, the wheat begins to take on its original golden hue, and the entire farm sparkles with a purity that can only be found in nature.
La Coiffe: That should just about do it, Captain! Now let's clean up these monsters!

Simply Organic: Scene 3

After returning to the village, (Captain) and company are invited back to the restaurant, where they're treated to a full course organic dinner using the ingredients La Coiffe purified. With the crew smacking their lips in anticipation of future meals, and La Coiffe giving her full seal of approval, the restaurant owner can once again hold his head high with pride.



(Captain) and company dispatch the monsters in the nearby mountains, allowing the farmers to procure untainted leaf mold once more.
The following day, the owner of the restaurant offers the crew a special invitation as thanks.
What appears at their tables is the same dish from the previous day, but made from the wheat La Coiffe took her scissors to.
Restaurant Owner: Bwahaha! How does it taste? This is the kind of organic cooking my restaurant's known for!
Vyrn: Whoa, the bread and pasta's so much better than the stuff from yesterday, it's crazy!
Lyria: Sure is, Vyrn! Can you believe they used the same wheat, too?
Restaurant Owner: Miss La Coiffe, I would like to offer my sincere apologies for the way I treated you the other day.
Restaurant Owner: I put special care and attention into your dish. Is it... not to your liking?
La Coiffe has yet to take a single bite of the food at the table, making the owner understandably nervous.
With a stern expression, La Coiffe quietly loops a few strands of pasta through her fork, playfully raises it to her mouth, and takes a bite.
La Coiffe: Mm, this is definitely 100% organic! It's so delicious, I can feel myself being purified to the core!
Restaurant Owner: Really? You mean it? Thank goodness. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't like it!
With La Coiffe's seal of approval, the owner of the restaurant can finally rest easy knowing that his food is really, truly organic.