Scenario:Ragazzo - I Got Ya

I Got Ya

While shooting the breeze with Balurga on the beach, Ragazzo suddenly receives a request to deal with a monster rampaging in town. It turns out to be a colossal hermit crab, and it's brought its whole extended family.

---

Ragazzo: ...

Ragazzo is reading a book under a parasol, glancing every now and then toward (Captain) and company playing by the water's edge.

Beside him is Balurga, who, for some reason, seems to be in a mad rush to finish a cup of shaved ice.

Balurga: Chomp!

Balurga: Rgk!

Balurga: Yeowch, that smarts! Now I've got a brain freeze!

Ragazzo: What are you even doing? You're practically asking for a brain freeze when you chow down on ice that fast.

Balurga: Hehe... A real man can take a brain freeze or three!

Ragazzo: It's not a competition, y'know...

Balurga: Oh, but it is! I'm competing against the me of days past!

Ragazzo: You've got a face on that screams "nailed it," 'cept you haven't nailed anything.

Balurga: Hahah! You're just too bashful to admit how great I am! The squint in your eyes makes it so obvious!

Ragazzo: I squint 'cause the sun's too bright!
Geez...

Eyes focused on the right prosthetic arm, Balurga lies down on a beach chair and heaves a sigh.

Balurga: Never woulda guessed that seawater might be the Atar Claw's greatest nemesis.

Ragazzo: Be glad you've got a new arm at all, even if it might be artificial. Losing the ability to swim's a pretty small trade-off.

Balurga: Still though...

Ragazzo: You might think a quick dip won't do much harm, but you'd best quit while you're ahead.

Ragazzo: The crew's engineers would be collectively pissed.

Balurga: Wait, you don't mean...

Ragazzo: Yep... Had a stern talking-to from 'em yesterday.

Balurga: ...

Balurga shudders, recalling it felt like thunderbolts raining down when the engineers confronted the Harvin for breaking the Atar Claw from fighting recklessly.

Ragazzo: There's plenty of ways to enjoy a vacation without soaking in seawater. Be creative.

Balurga: Hrm...

Balurga: How about we have a watermelon-eating contest? The loser owes the winner a favor!

Ragazzo: I'm reading a book here in case you didn't notice. Try asking someone else.

Balurga: Aw, you're no fun.

The pouting Balurga's curiosity is slightly piqued by the tome Ragazzo is engrossed in.

Balurga: That book must be a lotta fun.

Ragazzo: It's a detective novel. The twists and turns keep me on the edge of my seat.

Balurga: Oho...

Ragazzo: What? You interested in reading it too?

Balurga: Nah, I'll pass. Never been much of a reader, really!

Though slightly disappointed, Ragazzo nods in agreement with Balurga's wishes.

Ragazzo: Welp, lemme know if you change your mind.

Ragazzo: Doesn't have to be this novel in particular either... Whatever book you might be interested in, I'll find it for ya.

Fisherman: 'Scuse me! I heard there are skyfarers hanging about?

Balurga: Skyfarers? That's us!

Ragazzo: Oh, it's the guy from yesterday! Your son doin' all right?

Fisherman: Yes, thanks to you! I had no idea you were a skyfarer, but it all makes sense now.

Ragazzo: So what's up? Our captain's on vacation at the moment, but I suppose us two could help you out.

The angler requests for a monster rampaging in town to be dealt with.

Ragazzo: Hehe, sounds like my kind of job. Leave this one to me.

Balurga: No fair, Ragazzo! Why do you get to have all the fun!

Ragazzo: Psst. You mind lowering your voice a bit?

Balurga: Hey, what gives! My Atar Claw's ready to go tear up some monster scum! Lemme come with—

Ragazzo: Quit jabberin' so loudly, damn it. (Captain) and them are gonna hear us.

Balurga: Huh? Wh-what do you mean?

Ragazzo: Think of how much our crew's been through ever since arriving in Auguste.

Ragazzo: The captain deserves a well-earned rest if you ask me.

Balurga: You know what... I can definitely get behind that idea!

Ragazzo: Gah!

Veins bulging at his temples, Ragazzo finally clamps his hand over Balurga's mouth.

Balurga: Urk!

Ragazzo: Yep... We'll make quick work of the monster for ya.

Careful not to let the other crew members notice, the two quietly depart for the town in question.

Colos. Hermit Crab: ...!

The duo arrives to find a colossal hermit crab wreaking havoc across town.

Balurga: Whoa, it's made a real mess of things! Time for us to clean up!

Ragazzo: (It's a different one from yesterday... Still sucks to have to go up against one of these either way.)

Balurga: Yo, Ragazzo! Enough daydreaming!

Ragazzo: Right... We took on a job, and now we've gotta see it done.

Ragazzo: Let's go!

Readying themselves for battle, the two leap in front of the colossal hermit crab.

Colos. Hermit Crab: ...

Ragazzo: Heck was that about? The crab hightailed it the moment we popped onto the scene!

Balurga: I'm not sure that's what happened... Look over there.

The colossal hermit crab was not retreating; rather, it was joining up with its fellow crabs.

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...

Ragazzo: You've gotta be kidding me...

Balurga: Heheh... The more the merrier, I say! This is gonna be fun!

Ragazzo: Talking all big and tough, eh? I take it you're trembling out of excitement then?

Balurga: Heck yeah! Why else would I be trembling!

Ragazzo: Hahah, that's more like it, Balurga! You're looking to go down in history as the greatest man of all time, yeah?

Ragazzo: For starters, charging in headfirst isn't always the best move. It's game over if you get overwhelmed.

Ragazzo: First thing we wanna do is figure out the situation.

The two return to the fisherman in search of information.

Fisherman: See, that's what I don't get. The townsfolk, including myself, live our daily lives trying not to get in the way of the bizarre sea creatures.

Fisherman: I don't have a clue why they're suddenly on the offensive.

Ragazzo: Yeah? Hm, this sure is a mystery...

Ragazzo scratches his head, unsure what to make of the encroaching colossal hermit crabs.

I Got Ya: Scene 2

Deeming it unwise to engage in battle, Ragazzo seeks out the colossal hermit crab he became fist pals with yesterday and learns that its child has been kidnapped. Ragazzo and Balurga rush into town to find the culprit.

---

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...

Only one idea comes to Ragazzo's mind on how to deal with the colossal hermit crabs.

Ragazzo: Making sure the damage doesn't spread any further has gotta be a priority. We need to get the crabs away from town.

Balurga: You have a strategy in mind?

Ragazzo: I wouldn't call it something so grand as a strategy...

Ragazzo: You see, I made a friend among the crabs yesterday.

Ragazzo: I'm thinking we can learn more about why this is happening if I can just find that crab.

Balurga: The heck?

Balurga: Oh, right! I forgot you got caught up in that incident too with the rest of the crew!

Ragazzo: Yeah, I spent a bit of time as an Albacore...

Balurga: All righty! Go talk mano a mano with your crab buddy and find out what's going on!

Ragazzo puts on a bit of a frown as if to keep the Harvin's expectations in check.

Ragazzo: Things were different as an Albacore. I don't understand a thing those crabs are saying right now.

Balurga: Crud!

Ragazzo: Still worth a shot though... Wouldn't you say so, Balurga?

Balurga: You're a man among men, Ragazzo!

After asking the fisherman to evacuate the locals...

The pair jump across a few rooftops to reach the colossal hermit crabs.

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...!

Ragazzo: Where are you, fist pal?

Ragazzo: Show yourself...

Ragazzo: ...

Ragazzo: Gaaah, damn it all! How am I supposed to tell you apart when you all look the same!

Balurga: How do you not know what your buddy looks like!

Ragazzo: I can't help it, all right!

Unable to tell the creatures apart, Ragazzo falls to his knees.

Ragazzo: Who'd have thought it'd be this hard to track down my fist pal...

Balurga: You only use the term "fist pal" when there's a special bond at play, right?

Ragazzo: Yeah. Even with that many of the crabs, I thought I'd manage somehow. Guess I overestimated myself.

Balurga: Surely there's gotta be some distinguishing mark on the hermit crab you call your friend, like a scar on its claw.

Ragazzo: A scar? There might've been one... But my memory's kinda foggy on that.

Ragazzo: The crab had a certain classiness to it, if you know what I mean.

Balurga: Nope, no clue what that means.

Unsure how these creatures that carry giant rocks on their backs could possibly be considered "classy," Balurga questions Ragazzo's sensibilities.

Balurga: You can expect me to fight to the end no matter what happens!

Ragazzo: Hold your horses. I'm gonna find my fist pal in that crowd somehow!

Pushing the all-too-eager Balurga aside, Ragazzo jumps in front of the horde.

Ragazzo: Yo, hermit crabs! One of you know me!

Ragazzo: We bumped fists the other day! Or should I say bumped claws—

Balurga: Ragazzo, you dummy! You're too close!

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...!

Ragazzo: Rgh!

The colossal hermit crabs swarm Ragazzo like a surging wave and lift him up into the air.

A single one of them leaps up to catch Ragazzo on its back.

Ragazzo: It's you!

Fist Pal: ...!

Ragazzo: Hehe... I couldn't have asked for a better fist pal!

Ragazzo: Wish you coulda come out sooner though.

Fist Pal: ...!

Balurga: Sniff... A bond between man and bizarre sea creature! I can feel the tears comin' on!

Ragazzo: Hate to ask for another favor right after you saved me, but I can't allow you guys to push on and wreck this town.

Ragazzo: Any chance you can ask your fellow crabs to stop what they're doing?

Ragazzo: If there's a problem, I'll step in and mediate. Please, just do me this one solid.

Fist Pal: ...

Raising its claws high, Ragazzo's fist pal gets the other colossal hermit crabs to stop in their tracks.

Balurga: Whoa... Crazy how they're in sync, like a well-trained army.

Ragazzo: 'Preciate it. Now we can have a proper discussion.

Ragazzo faces his fist pal, hoping to understand the underlying reason behind all this commotion.

Fist Pal: ...

Ragazzo: Oh crap! That's a serious problem, all right...

Balurga: (Wow... I can hardly believe my eyes, but they actually seem to be communicating...)

Ragazzo: Turns out its baby was kidnapped, so the whole extended family's here to get the kid back.

Ragazzo: Damn, I really feel your pain, fist pal... All right, you can count us in!

Balurga: So who's the crabnapper?

Ragazzo: Seems they lost track of him.

Ragazzo: Hermit crabs have compound eyes, so there's no way they can see as well as us.

Ragazzo: They must've lost the crabnapper the moment he made it to town.

Balurga: Okay, so our job is to...

Ragazzo: To be their eyes and pluck out the crabnapper!

And so, Ragazzo and Balurga set out to find the baby snatcher.

I Got Ya: Scene 3

Ragazzo leads the consortium to the kidnapper and successfully rescues the baby hermit crab. Impressed with Ragazzo's bravado throughout the whole ordeal, Balurga wishes to be more like him and takes up reading as a hobby.

---

While riding on their new friend in search of the perpetrator, Balurga raises a question.

Balurga: Why even kidnap a baby hermit crab to begin with though? I doubt you can get much ransom.

Balurga: Wonder what was going through his mind...

Ragazzo: The baby crab's got a special striped shell on its back.

Ragazzo: The shell's made of a rare mineral that's worth a fortune.

Ragazzo: Put two and two together, and you start to see why someone might wanna make off with the baby crab.

Balurga: You sure know a lot.

Ragazzo: Not really... Just so happens I once read through an encyclopedia on rocks and minerals.

Balurga: All that reading's done you some real good, huh.

Ragazzo: Thing is though, that mineral doesn't exist in Auguste according to the encyclopedia.

Ragazzo: I can think of one reason why it showed up here outta the blue...

Ragazzo: You remember that major sumo incident not too long ago?

Ragazzo: If shiko stomps are powerful enough to transform the terrain, it's not too much of a stretch to think that the sea level rose enough for certain rare minerals to surface.

Balurga: Whoa, that's wild...

Just then, Balurga catches sight of someone suspicious running in the direction opposite of the fleeing residents.

Balurga: Something's sticking out of that man's bag! Think it might be our baby crab?

Ragazzo: Nothing but forest in that direction. We'd better catch up before he gets away!

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...!

Crabnapper: Tch... I've been spotted!

Ragazzo: Heheh! Don't think for a second that you're getting out of this!

Ragazzo: All right, crabs! We're doing this!

Colos. Hermit Crabs: ...!

Ragazzo: Crabs on the left! Circle around and cut off the culprit's escape route!

Left CHCs: ...!

Ragazzo: Crabs on the right! Proceed onward with caution! Do not cause any more damage to the town!

Right CHCs: ...!

Ragazzo gives precise commands to the crabs so that they may capture the villain.

Ragazzo's commanding presence calls to mind the image of Balurga's late father, Guzaletha.

Balurga: Amazing... Simply amazing! Your leadership reminds me of my old man, Ragazzo!

Ragazzo: Heheheh! Checkmate! You're cornered!

Crabnapper: What the hell is your problem! What did I ever do to you!

Ragazzo: Quit the woe-is-me act.

Ragazzo: The cuddly-wuddly baby crab's claw is sticking out of your bag, in case you didn't notice.

Crabnapper: Aw crap...

Ragazzo: Return the child you abducted to its parent.

Ragazzo: Unless you'd rather fight us instead. Take your pick.

Ragazzo: Well? Clock's ticking down—

Crabnapper: All right, all right! Crabs are yours! Just let me go!

A number of baby hermit crabs crawl out of the villain's bag on unsteady steps.

Fist Pal Family: ...!

Balurga: Aw, a happy family reunion! How touching!

Crabnapper: W-well then, I'll be off now...

Ragazzo: Don't take another step, crabnapper.

Crabnapper: O-okay!

Ragazzo: I've gotta ask. Were you after the rocks worn by the baby hermit crabs?

Crabnapper: Hehe, so you noticed too, huh? Yeah, those things are practically a gold mine.

Crabnapper: Figured if I brought back some of these baby hermit crabs as samples to a merchant I know...

Crabnapper: I could prove that the rare mineral exists in Auguste.

Ragazzo: And then profits would come in from selling that info...

Crabnapper: Let me guess... You're hoping to get rich quick too?

Ragazzo: Don't friggin' lump me in with you, you disgusting piece of crap!

Watching the villain trembling from intimidation, Ragazzo's fist pal whispers in his ear.

Ragazzo: Hehe... My buddy crabs here have your face burned into their brains.

Ragazzo: Step foot in Auguste ever again...

Ragazzo: And they'll tear your head off and put it on a stick!

Fist Pal: ...!

Crabnapper: Eeeep! I promise you'll never see me again in Auguste!

Ragazzo: Hmph, serves you right.

Having completed their mission, Ragazzo and Balurga see off the friendly hermit crabs into the sea.

Ragazzo: It's been fun, pal. Till we meet again.

Fist Pal: ...!

Balurga: I'd heard about communicating with those bizarre sea creatures, but this felt like so much more.

Balurga: Think maybe it's because you and that crab are fist pals?

Balurga: Boy, it's been a whirlwind of surprises today.

Ragazzo: You know, that reminds me...

Ragazzo: Someone in the crew joked about how they get caught up in some catastrophe each time they visit Auguste.

Balurga: Heh, I can imagine. It's much more than just that though.

Balurga: From your knowledge of minerals to your remarkable leadership... I'm just as surprised by you.

Ragazzo: My reading hobby aside, I was in a position where I had to manage people before becoming a skyfarer.

Ragazzo: Guess that experience paid off.

As Ragazzo smiles sheepishly, Balurga gives him a hearty slap on the back.

Ragazzo: Ouch, that stings!

Balurga: You know, watching you kick so much ass...

Balurga: It kinda reminded me of my old man. Bless his soul.

Ragazzo: Seriously? Me?

Ragazzo: Skull's told me about your past...

Ragazzo: And I don't think I resemble your old man at all.

Balurga: Well, you're definitely nowhere near his level in charisma. That's a humongous difference right there!

Balurga: But when it comes to leadership, guts, and smarts, I think you can hold your own!

Ragazzo: I can't tell if you're trying to praise or mock me... But thanks either way.

Balurga: This whole incident's gotten me to think about what it is that I'm lacking.

Balurga: I know it's not my style...

Balurga: But I realized I've gotta read tons of books like you to make up for what's missing in me.

Ragazzo smiles warmly at hearing his friend's resolve.

Ragazzo: Books give us so much more than just wisdom and knowledge.

Ragazzo: Heck, I'd even say they enrich your imagination and provide insights and guidance for life.

Ragazzo: What's more... I've come to realize there's still a lot of good in this world.

Ragazzo: I've been saved by just a single book before.

Ragazzo: Make no mistake, Balurga...

Ragazzo: Now that you've decided to push past your dislike of reading to take it on as a challenge, you've got what it takes to be a real legend someday.

Balurga: Heh, thanks!

Eyes sparkling, Ragazzo begins considering suitable books for Balurga.

Ragazzo: Which reminds me, I just thought of a book you're gonna wanna read.

Balurga: Yeah? What's it called?

Ragazzo: Freedom's Dirge... It's hard-boiled fiction that should be right up your alley.

Balurga: Hard-boiled? I like the sound of it already!

Ragazzo: I figure starting with topics you like ought to ease you into the habit of reading.

Ragazzo: That said, care to join me for a trip to the bookstore before returning to the Grandcypher?

This has certainly turned out to be a memorable "vacation" for Ragazzo.

On their merry jaunt to the bookstore, Ragazzo considers looking for material detailing Auguste's history in addition to buying something for Balurga.