A Walk on the Wild Side/Story

	Spoiler Alert! These tabs contain full Event cutscene scripts with major spoilers about the plot and characters. View these tabs at your own discretion.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Opening

The Lowain trio finishes up kitchen duty early, freeing themselves up for a day of fun. Although most of the crew is away from the Grandcypher, the bros go on deck to find Tyre and invite him out on a stroll through town.

Another lovely morning ensues aboard the Grandcypher.

Lowain: Woot! I'm just about all prepped for tomorrow. Everything lookin' chill on your end, Sammy?

Elsam: If it's breakfast cleanup you're talkin' about, I did that in, like, zero seconds flat! Even mopped the floor while I was at it!

Lowain: Thanks, bro! You always did handle that mop like a boss! And you, Tommy?

Tomoi: Dinner's all set, my dudes. Just gotta heat it up, and it's good to go.

Lowain: You bros thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

All Three: Free time up the wazoo!

Having stopped at Port Breeze, (Captain) calls for a crew vacation day.

The Grandcypher is nearly empty, save for the Lowain bros in the kitchen.

Lowain: Dude, the G. Cyph's lookin' like a deserted island right now. (Captain) and them must be havin' the time of their lives in town.

Elsam: Things have been pretty hectic lately. You two saw how pumped up everyone was when (Captain) declared this a vacay!

Tomoi: Bro, if you're gonna talk about raisin' the roof, we party peeps gotta show 'em how it's done.

Lowain: Aight, dudes! Time to head out there and party hardy!

The bros go up on deck and find a friendly face.

Tyre: Lowain! Good day to you!

Lowain: Sup, Ty. You alone out here?

Tyre: Yes! I was considering where best to train myself today!

Tyre: In fact I thought you three had already left...

Elsam: Nah, we had to clean up the kitchen and do a little prep work for dinner.

Tomoi: You wouldn't leave the restroom without flushing, right? It's like gettin' some homework outta the way for a worry-free afternoon.

Lowain: I know it's our time off, but as a chef of the G. Cyph, I ain't about to let any peckish princesses or anyone else in the crew who comes back for chow to go famished—nuh-uh, not on my watch.

Tyre: ...!

All Three: Huh?

Tyre begins trembling before the brosome trio.

Tyre: Even when the rest of the crew are off enjoying their free time, you would give up yours to ensure everyone remains well-fed...

Tyre: Aah, how foolish of me to not consider the magnanimity in your hearts!

Tyre: My, what a callous, insensitive oaf I am!

Lowain: Dude, chill out.

Elsam: 'Sides, we were just about to head into town. We ain't exactly giving up all our free time.

Lowain: I'd say you're the one who needs a break, Ty. You've been hella busy lately. Might as well take up (Captain)'s kind offer of time off.

Elsam: Focus on your training too much, and your body might just give when it really counts. It's all about balance, fam.

Tomoi: Yeah, what's it called? Prime time? Whatever, that period of crazy post-workout recovery!

Elsam: Dude, I've heard about that! It's standard in bodybuilding circles!

Tyre: Indeed, perhaps it is as you say... However, my unworthy body cannot afford to skip training!

Lowain: You're probably better off lettin' loose right now instead of tryin' to get swole. Why don't you come out with us?

Tomoi: It's almost noon. Whaddya say we go for some grub first?

Tyre's mood brightens at the invitation.

Tyre: It would be my greatest honor to join you three!

Tyre: This is a kindness I will not soon forget!

Tomoi: Pfft! Dude! You need to lighten up, man! Let's keep in mind we're off duty! You can start by relaxin' those shoulders.

Tyre: Affirmative! Er, I mean...
All-righty-oh!

Elsam: Aight, now that we've got ourselves a brosome quartet, let's get ready to paaar-tay!

All Three: Wahey!

Tyre: I would be most indebted to you if you could please train me in the ways of an adept vacationer!

All Three: Chillax, bruh!

And so the bros, with the latest addition to their ranks, descend the Grandcypher and make for town.

Surely a day of grand adventure awaits.

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 1

The quartet cruises through town, shooting the breeze with the locals and munching on nostalgic snacks. After a while they come across the cafe that the bros consider their old stomping grounds and go in for lunch.

The bros arrive at a busy shopping district in Port Breeze.

They enjoy the fresh, open air of the streets while searching for a suitable place to have lunch.

Elsam: Aww man, how long has it been since we last came here? A few hundred years, give or take? Maybe since the War happened?

Tomoi: Nah, it's been more like two thousand years. That's the tavern where Cifer and Beli shared a drink, isn't it?

Lowain: Dude, you must be a heckuva lot younger than you're lettin' us in on. You some kinda badassical legendary alchemists or somethin'?

Tyre: (Such unbridled humor unfolds before me... Their repertoire impresses me to no end.)

Port Breeze Local: Oh, it's you guys. Long time no see.

Lowain: Sup, fam. You keepin' it cool?

Port Breeze Local: I heard you three joined up with some skyfarers... They gave you the boot already?

Tomoi: Bwahaha! Nah, we're just tough enough to make the cut! We're here to celebrate our crew-designated holiday!

Elsam: This is Ty by the way, our new bro.

Tyre: My name is Tyre! And I owe so much to my fellow bros here!

Port Breeze Local: Wow, you seem like a really... responsible person. I just hope you three don't teach him any strange habits.

Lowain: Hm... We do poke him in the sides and push him behind the knees to see if he can keep balance.

Lowain: But we still work our tails off whippin' up meals in the kitchen for the crew.

Tyre: Yes! I admire their tireless efforts for the well-being of us all!

Port Breeze Local: Hehe, you guys haven't changed a bit. Good luck with whatever you're doing in town.

All Three: Peace!

The relieved woman shuffles off with a smile.

Tyre: How did you come to be acquainted with that lady?

Lowain: One night when we came out here, some tipsy dude was givin' her trouble. So we, like, tapped him on the shoulder.

Tomoi: Dude gave me the creeps. We went in there with a Human Pyramid Rescue and carried her outta there lickety-split.

Elsam: She was super thankful when we finally had a moment to breathe and put her back on her feet.

Tyre: I see!

The surprised Tyre is further caught off guard when Tomoi suddenly calls out in excitement.

Tomoi: Oh, dang! Lowain, Sammy! You gotta get a load of this!

The bros turn their attention to the plethora of mom-and-pop varieties of candy on display outside a general store.

Elsam: Whoooo! This takes me back! Those beanie snacks were totally my jam when I was just a rug rat!

Lowain: Whoa, whoa, whoa... My dudes, I'd say this is also part of adulting! Time to flash that disposable income.

Old Shopkeep: I come out to see what all the fuss is, only to realize it's you three... It's been a while.

All Three: Wassuuup!

Lowain: So, fam! What's up with the candy here?

Elsam: I used to gobble these up like nothing back in my hometown! Man, I can't tell you how many times I got into trouble for having one too many!

Tomoi: Shoot, this brings back so many memories... Man, when did they start sellin' these in Port Breeze? Gives us all the more reason to come back every now and then!

The bros raise cries of joy over simple roasted beans coated with sugar.

Old Shopkeep: Noticed them right away, didja? They must be particularly nostalgic to your generation. Confectioners have started making them again recently.

Lowain: This is a total must-buy! Seriously, just shut up and take my rupies!

Old Shopkeep: Heh. I'll give you the bulk discount.

All Three: 'Preciate it!

Elsam: That reminds me: last time we spoke, didn't you say you sprained your back?

Tomoi: You're lookin' pretty good right now though... I guess it's not a problem anymore?

Old Shopkeep: I'm surprised you remember... Well, I guess you could say I've grown used to it. Gotta keep my shop open to make a living after all.

Lowain: Hang in there, man. We'll be droppin' by on the regular to nab more of these munchies!

With bagfuls of bean candy in their hands, the bros continue along the street.

Lowain: Mm, these are too good. Dude, Ty, you gotta gnosh on one of these.

Tyre: Thank you! I've never laid eyes on such a curious confection before today.

Tomoi: This stuff is the bomb. You're gonna wanna try one of mine too.

Tyre: Um... Are you certain it's a good idea to walk around town while eating?

Elsam: This ain't Albion—no monsters here! And besides, nothing beats chowing on fresh beans while on the road!

Elsam: There's a certain way to eat these, you know? Ty, watch this...

Elsam: Alley-oop!

Elsam flings the bean overhead.

Elsam: Aah... Gulp!

Elsam opens his mouth wide and catches the rapidly falling bean without using his hands.

Tyre: Perfection!

Lowain: Bwahaha! Talk about a trip down memory lane! My turn...

Lowain: Aaah... Mm!

Tomoi: Bwahaha! This is where it's at, man! Ty, why don't you give it a shot? Just follow my lead!

Tomoi: Aaah... Nom!

Tyre: I'll give it my best!

His expression flushed with anxiety, Tyre tosses the bean in his palm overhead.

Although he nearly trips and falls, Tyre demonstrates a hint of bean-catching prowess as the confection lands in his mouth.

All Three: Whoo!

Lowain: You the man, Ty! Most people don't pull it off on their first try!

Tyre: Phew... I did it!

Tyre: And it was most scrumptious. The flavorful blend of salt and sugar remains in my mouth...

Tomoi: That was pretty sick, dudes. We got to share a taste that's oh-so-near and dear to us with Ty.

Elsam: This is gonna be a vacation to remember—

Elsam: I tell ya!

Elsam hurls another bean straight up, this time higher than any of the previous attempts.

Tomoi: You tryin' to hit the sun?

Lowain: Hahah, Sammy must be lookin' for a challenge!

Elsam: Crud! If I miss this last one, the rest of the vacay's gonna blow!

Elsam: What the...

Tomoi: Oh snap! Bwahahaha! The gods dunked on you!

Lowain: Pff-ahahaha! There goes your bean!

Elsam: ...

Tyre: Elsam? Is everything all right?

Elsam: Th-there's no way I'm all salty I lost my last little bean!

Lowain: Dude, Sammy... Tell me that's not a tear in your eye...

Tyre: ...!

Tomoi: Least that birdie was super happy to munch on your bean, right?

Elsam: Sniff... I-I ain't crying!

Tyre: Er, if your hearts so desire, I would gladly retrieve seconds for all of us!

Tyre: We may as well since we've already come out here! I'll be back at once!

Elsam: Wait up! Ty!

Tyre: I seek another bite for myself as well! Worry not!

Tyre: Trust in meee!

Elsam: ...

Lowain: Aww man... I always knew Ty was real tight...

The four continue their leisurely stroll around town, goofing about the entire time, when Lowain suddenly stops in his tracks.

Lowain: Dudes... Take a whiff of that... Smells spicy...

Tomoi: It's comin' from in there! Our go-to place!

A run-down shop facing the street with an open sign waits for customers.

Lowain: Man, I still think back to that time I fell asleep in there, and Kat had to wake me up in the morning.

Elsam: Bwahaha! I remember that! Since we know what to expect, why don't we settle down in there for lunch? Whaddya say, Ty?

Tyre: A sound idea! This looks like a wonderful place to dine! Well then, without further ado!

Enticed by the wafting scent of scrumptious food, the four enter the cafe.

Lowain: Heya! Table for four, non-smoking section please!

Though it is still too early for lunch, the many empty seats inside suggest that it may be ideal for hanging out.

The four decide to spend their long-awaited vacation in this nondescript cafe.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 2

As the four enjoy their meal, Tyre praises the bros' ability to strike up a conversation with anyone. While Elsam and Tomoi are pleased with the compliment, Lowain alone remains tight-lipped.

The Lowain bros wander into their old stomping grounds for an early lunch.

They take their seats and continue shooting the breeze for a while.

Lowain: So, Ty, you've never bought a snack and tore into it as soon as you left the store? Like, not even on the way back from school?

Tyre: Indeed. At the military academy, we were always taught to act as a knight should.

Tyre: I must say I was struck by pangs of guilt earlier, but I rather enjoyed myself. The confections were quite tasty as well!

Elsam: Hoo boy, sure is a relief to hear you say that, considering we invited you.

Tyre: ...?
My fellow bros, I must say this is turning out to be a spectacular vacation so far.

Lowain: Erm, well... We did kinda push you into comin' along with us.

Lowain: You said something about training earlier, but we still pressured you into tagging along. Ain't our usual style, I gotta say.

Tomoi: But Ty's havin' fun after all. So it's all cool if you ask me.

Tyre: Sniff... My fellow bros! Your tender thoughtfulness moves me to tears!

Tyre: It is precisely that moral fiber you all possess which allows everyone to open up to you with such ease!

Tomoi: Um, dude... Whaddya mean by everyone?

Tyre: For example the lady we bumped into on the road earlier, or the shopkeep.

Tyre: My fellow bros, it has become clear to me that you are able to empathize by treasuring every encounter—small or large...

Tyre: I sense the nurturing of mutual bonds in even the most casual of your conversations.

Elsam: F'real? Uh, I'm not sure I get you, but that sounds pretty cool, bro.

Tomoi: Yep, I have no clue what you just said, Ty.

Tyre: I am touched beyond your wildest imaginations! My veneration for you three deepens with each passing minute!

Elsam: Erm... Okay?

Tomoi: Yeah, well, we try to be friendly with all people, you know? Makes the world go round and all that jazz.

While Elsam and Tomoi are not altogether unreceptive to Tyre's observation...

Lowain: ...

Lowain alone remains tight-lipped on the matter.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 3

Lowain refutes Tyre's praise of his communication skills, remarking that things never really go anywhere with those he really wants to get to know better. He believes that the real key to improvement is communication skills.

Elsam and Tomoi appear somewhat pleased with Tyre's praise of their ability to form friendships with anyone.

Lowain, however, has few words to say regarding the matter. His silence does not go unnoticed.

Lowain: ...

Elsam: Lowain, you all right, man? You look ready to bust a cr*p. Or a few.

Tyre: Are you well, Lowain?

Tomoi: Ergh... Please don't tell me you've already—

Lowain: So, Ty, you think we can get along with just about anyone?

Tyre: Y-yes... I apologize if I was being too forward...

Lowain: Nah, it's cool, bruh. I'm just sayin' there's definitely something vital we're missing.

All Three: Missing?

Lowain: Take me and Kat for instance. I haven't exactly been able to take our relationship to the next level.

Lowain: I'm thinkin' there's gotta be ways I coulda done more to rack up those affection points, s'what I'm sayin'.

Elsam: I hear ya, bro. That's totally your endgame, right?

Lowain: Like Ty was sayin', it's cool that we're able to strike up a conversation with anyone, but we can't stop there.

Lowain: Sammy, Tommy, you feel me, right? Wouldn't you wanna get closer to peeps you're crushin' on?

Tomoi: Dang, bro... You might be too woke for me...

Elsam: I see what you're gettin' at, but what exactly can we do about it?

Lowain: It comes down to just communication really.

All Three: Just communication?

Curious as to what Lowain has to say, the three lean forward.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 4

When Lowain proclaims that he, Elsam, and Tomoi lack communication skills, the latter two beg to differ. Just then Tsubasa and gang walk in. Afraid of their baller mannerisms, the bros clam up—their communication skills instantly go out the window.

The conversation revolving around Lowain's idea of communication begins to heat up.

Elsam: Communication, eh? Yeah, that's the ticket. Word.

Tomoi: Take it easy, Sammy. Your face tells me you're already blanking. Same with me though.

Elsam: See, I get the gist of it, but I need deets.

Tomoi: Hey, don't ask me. My best guess would be, "Don't be shy."

Elsam: Bruh, we've got that covered! We can break the ice with anyone—don't even need an ice pick!

Lowain: True dat... Thing is, we usually end up only scratchin' the surface.

As Lowain dives deeper into the matter, new customers enter the cafe.

Yung Rintaro: They got seats for us! Tsubasa! Taiga!

Elsam & Tomoi: !

Killa Taiga: Mm! Gotta love that smell! Let's get our grub on already, boys!

Tsubasa: Sweet place we found ourselves. Let's go sit over there.

Yung Rintaro: I call window seat!

Tsubasa and his two friends, all students of the Mysteria Academy, have come in for lunch.

Unaware of the bros' presence, they find themselves a spot two tables away from the Lowain quartet.

Lowain: Hey, aren't those peeps with us on the G. Cyph? I think they joined up pretty recently.

Lowain: Sheesh, what's with you two. You look like you just cr*pped your pants.

For some unknown reason, Elsam and Tomoi suddenly fall silent, their lips tightly clenched.

Elsam: Nah, my vibes are, like, totally maxed out right now, you know?

Lowain: I know they've got a mean glare, but it's nothing to get the willies over. Anyone with us on the G. Cyph is bound to be coolio.

Elsam: Ain't anyone getting cold feet! I'm just not sure I can be all buddy-buddy with types like them...

Tomoi: How 'bout we take a look-see approach. No need to chew the fat and the food with 'em yet.

Lowain: Bruh, can we stop with the double standards! Did your peep skills just go out the window?

Elsam & Tomoi: ...

Lowain: Look, I know they got that crazy look in their eyes, but considering how they're finishing every last bite of their chow... I'd say they've got some manners.

Lowain: I bet they're lily-white angels deep down. Whaddya think, Ty?

Tyre: I, too, have not had the opportunity to engage in discourse with them, so I cannot speak with certainty...

Tyre: However, I will say that I stand by (Captain)'s decisions entirely. And it was our very own (Captain) who invited them to join our crew.

Lowain: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. Ty knows where it's at.

Elsam: Still though, you gotta admit those aren't your everyday hairstyles. Can you imagine how freaky it'd get if they blew a gasket?

Tomoi: Not to mention their gearcycle thingies are way rebellious, don'cha think?

Lowain: Nah, ya gotta remember even Vyrn's got his own gearcycle. Ain't so bizarre if you ask me.

Tomoi: Man, Vyrn on his ride is ten outta ten on the aww scale for me.

Lowain: Anyhoo. It's clear we've got the basics of communication down; now we've just gotta get on with the next step.

Elsam: Which is?

Tomoi: Dudes, brain flash. I read this in a book somewhere: "If thou knowest the macho and thyself, thou shalt never be in danger whilst hunting machos."

Tomoi: In a nutshell, we just gotta, like, get used to it.

Lowain & Elsam: That's deep, yo...

Even as their lunch grows cold, there seems to be no end to the meandering discourse of the bros.

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 1

Unaware of the bros' presence, the Tsubasa gang discusses life on the Grandcypher. The eavesdropping bros realize they are all alike in many ways and begin fantasizing about what a baller life the gang must lead.

The Tsubasa gang remains oblivious to the Lowain bros, who are sitting at a nearby table.

Killa Taiga: Hot damn, this is good! This lil' shop's our lucky find of the day!

Tsubasa: Yeah... This is some real fine eatin'.

Killa Taiga: Rintaro, lemme try some of that meat.

Yung Rintaro: Yo, what the hell, Taiga? I see all those juicy chunks on your plate!

Killa Taiga: Sheesh. Gimme a break, bro. I only took a small piece.

Yung Rintaro: Two can play this game. I'm takin' one of yours—

Killa Taiga: Nuh-uh. Fork off. What's mine is mine.

Yung Rintaro: Gaaah! You think you're so big? Huh, big man?

Tsubasa: Will you two pipe down!

Yung Rintaro: M-my bad, Tsubasa!

Yung Rintaro: See, this is your fault, Taiga...

Killa Taiga: I can't help it, man... This stuff is just too good...

Killa Taiga: Oh, speakin' of pipin' down... I was helping out Rackam with some ship repairs the other day...

Killa Taiga: And would ya believe he actually praised me? Hehe!

Tsubasa: Good going, Taiga. I guess your family runnin' a gearcycle shop came in handy.

Yung Rintaro: Uh, what's that got to do with bein' noisy though?

Killa Taiga: I was humming the whole time, and I even tripped over a toolbox... He laughed it off. Called me a one-man band.

Yung Rintaro: So you're just makin' trouble for others? Shame on you, Taiga.

Any version of Cucouroux is a crew member

Killa Taiga: Nah, this is where it gets interesting... Y'see, Cucouroux was there to help out too.

Killa Taiga: And she came up with the greatest idea ever! A trick to rev up the speed of our beasts!

Yung Rintaro: Seriously? Wait, ain't Cucouroux supposed to be a gunsmith?

Killa Taiga: Yep! She pointed out stuff I never would've noticed!

Killa Taiga: She mentioned how there's still room for improvement with the turbine reactor!

Tsubasa: Sweet... We could really do stuff with that!

Yung Rintaro: So how exactly did you tailor your beast? You gotta tell us!

Killa Taiga: I don't mind tellin' ya, Rintaro. But you're gonna have to pay the meat tax.

Tsubasa: C'mon, Rintaro, I'm out of meat. Take one for the team.

Yung Rintaro: Aww, now you two are ganging up on me... No fair, man!

Unaware of another brosome group in the vicinity, the Tsubasa gang continue enjoying their meal.

Killa Taiga: You know... I was thinkin' about how Rackam's hair kinda resembles Tsubasa's.

Tsubasa: No way, Jose. It's not even close.

Killa Taiga: Fine, but you guys notice how so many of the crew members are always fired up?

Yung Rintaro: Yeah, there's that one person in particular...

Killa Taiga: I know, man... That mask alone is totally baller...

Tsubasa: Gets my heart pumpin' just thinkin' about it...

A sense of camaraderie blossoms as the Lowain bros keep their ears glued to the fraternal chat happening nearby.

Tomoi: Dude, their convo sounds just like ours.

Elsam: Word. Feels like a bro connection.

Lowain: It's like my grandma used to say: "Any kiddo who licks their plate clean is bound to be one of the good guys."

However...

Yung Rintaro: You oughta know, Tsubasa... Taiga pulled something really messed up the other day.

Yung Rintaro: We were chattin' up a storm during a walk down the street when we ran into some feller givin' a lady trouble.

Killa Taiga: Oh, that? How was that my fault?

Killa Taiga: I figured he bumped into her to start somethin'. All I did was give him a stern talking-to.

Yung Rintaro: Uh, he did bump into her, but you didn't know that until after you headbutted him!

Killa Taiga: I did? Well, all's well that ends well, I guess...

Yung Rintaro: Pshh, all this crap you pull is gonna come back to bite you in the ass one day.

Still tuning in to their prattle, Elsam utters his next words in trepidation.

Elsam: Oh snap, you bros hear that? He charged headfirst into the feller...

Tomoi: Any dude who saves a chick gets major brownie points in my book. But a forbidden headbutt is just overkill, man...

Elsam: Makes me wonder if they'd fry us for ever frying up bad grub...

Lowain: No way, bro. Like I've been sayin', everydude on the G. Cyph is a cool dude.

Elsam: Don't you think you're too optimistic? Ever heard of youthful indiscretion? With them, I wouldn't be too sure...

Tomoi: Dude, why do you keep sidin' with 'em delinquents! You tryin' to say you understand the ecosystem of bad boys better than us?

Lowain: Welp, I probably do. I know a bit about gang wars between schools and all that.

Tomoi: Oh yeah, I've read about that. Somethin' about how it becomes a battle to the death once you lock eyes with delinquents from another school.

Elsam: F'real, man? I'm gettin' the jitters just thinking about it!

Tyre: I'm certain they have their own brand of justice. Surely they would never do anything despicable...

Tyre: There may be times when their own morals contradict conventional societal rules, but their commitment to their cause burns bright!

Tyre: I firmly believe that they are deserving of the highest commendations for such strength of conviction! Just as long as they don't disturb the public peace, of course.

Tomoi: So, like, no hitting below the belt, no bullying, but yes to protecting friends?

Lowain: Basically don't ignore injustice, eh? Sums up what honor is pretty well.

Lowain: Must be what Tsubasa's gang is referring to every time they say baller.

Elsam & Tomoi: Baller...

The Tsubasa gang's baller view of the world leads to ever-evolving fantasies for the Lowain bros.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 2

In fantasyland, a man is seen giving Korwa trouble. Instructor Tomoi of Albion and Killa Taiga of Mysteria show up to save her. Elsam and Rintaro also show up thereafter and argue over who owns the turf. Korwa leaves dumbfounded.

On the corner of a street one sunny afternoon, an unkempt man is giving a schoolgirl some trouble.

???: Nyehehe... Come now, fair maiden... Don't you want to see how a man shines his horns?

Korwa: The heck? Urgh, you're really getting on my nerves!

???: But I'll even let you touch them! It'll be just the two of us!

Korwa: Eww, your horns are, like, mega-gross. Back off, you creep.

???: Yahoo! Let's get crazy!

Tomoi: Hold it right there, potato-punk.

Korwa: Instructor Tommy!

Tomoi: You've got some real potatoes to be traipsin' around like this island is your playground. But I won't let this stand.

Potato-Punk: A knight in shining armor? Humph, you want a piece of my horns too?

Tomoi: Bow down like the potato-punk you are and say you're sorry. Do that, and I just might let you go.

Potato-Punk: Hah, we'll see about that!

Tomoi: Bgrwaah!

Potato-Punk: What a weenie. Not even a scratch on my horns.

Korwa: OMG, Instructor Tomoi! Don't push yourself!

Tomoi: Stand back, Korwa! And watch how a baller instructor serves up a hearty helping of mashed justice!

Tomoi: Graaah!

Potato-Punk: Urgh! You weeniemeister...

A brawl of epic proportions ensues. When the potato-punk takes a jab to the bridge of his nose, he falters, clutching his face in pain.

Potato-Punk: Th-this is why I hate weenies! But this isn't over yet!

Tomoi: Hehe... Go full-on potato or go home, punk.

Korwa: Instructor Tomoi! Please tell me you're not hurt!

Tomoi: Nah, I'm all good. You okay yourself, Korwie?

Korwa: I'm totes okay.

Tomoi: Glad to know you're safe. That's what matters.

Korwa: Instructor Tomoi... I, like, totally can't thank you enough for getting me out of that jam!

Just as Korwa helps a battered-and-bruised Tomoi get up, two silhouettes appear before them.

Potato-Punk: There he is, that weenie I was talking about!

???: Yo, I heard you got beef with my homie?

Tomoi: Heh, I should've guessed the potato-punk would hightail it only to come back with an eggplant-punk...

Eggplant-Punk: Who the hell you callin' an eggplant-punk! Now you're really askin' for it!

Tomoi: I can handle these losers, Korwie. You get outta here while you can.

Korwa: How can you say that when you're all banged up, Instructor Tomoi!

Tomoi: Shoulda brought my frying pan to make stir-fry veggies outta you two.

???: You dumb fools seriously need to shut your faces.

Eggplant-Punk: You got no skin in this game! Shove off!

???: Huh?

Eggplant-Punk: Gyaaah!

Potato-Punk: Eeep!

The aptly named punks hunch over in agonizing pain.

Killa Taiga: You goons need to show some damn respect when you're barkin' at Killa Taiga!

Tomoi: It's you...

Killa Taiga: This is the Private Institute of Mysteria's turf you're standin' on. You good-for-nothin' playboys couldn't protect this town even if sky-high fries and stoked sundaes were in it for you!

Tomoi: Private? Wait, you sayin' this is your territory? Heck no, you better take that back right now!

Killa Taiga: Gyahaha! You couldn't even keep a girl safe just now! You're all talk and no action!

Killa Taiga: ...!

Korwa: ...?

Killa Taiga: (H-hot damn!)

Korwa: Erm... So you're super strong, right? Instructor Tommy was in a real fix, so, like, thanx.

Killa Taiga: C-c-c-cute!

Korwa: Wha?

Killa Taiga: I've fallen for you! It was love at first sight! Please go on a date with me!

Tomoi: Whoa, whoa, what's with this lovey-dovey stuff? Love at first sight, my butt cheeks!

Korwa: I don't know about this... We only just met...

Killa Taiga: L-l-look! This gearcycle's my pride and joy. Won't you go on a rendez-vous with me?

Korwa: Erm...

Killa Taiga: I... guess I'm asking for too much... Heh, least I still have this beast I built using spare parts from scrap...

Korwa: Hm? You put this thing together yourself?

Killa Taiga: Y-yeah! It took a real long time to get going, but I never gave up...

Korwa: Wow... That's, like, hella impressive. Mad respect right there.

Korwa: Ohmigosh, this is way cool!

Killa Taiga: Hummina, hummina, hummina! Can't take the cuteness!

Tomoi: Um... Korwie?

Elsam: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Someone wanna tell me what's goin' on here?

Tomoi: Nice timing, Sammy! Some baller Mysteria dude just barged in here, and...

Killa Taiga: Yo, what the hell... Puny bean sprouts just keep sproutin' outta nowhere.

Elsam: What, that s'posed to be an insult? Bean sprouts are, like, the bestest vegetable ever! They're affordable, nutritious, and oh-so-good!

Killa Taiga: No one asked, ya stupid goon!

???: Yo, Taiga! Whatcha doin' with those playboys?

Killa Taiga: Good of you to show up, Rintaro! Look at these bean sprouts I found growing on our turf.

Yung Rintaro: Pretty messed up, ain't it. Whaddya say we pluck 'em out before they grow even more!

Korwa: Uh...

Elsam: A bunch of lame-o Mysteria posers can't do jack to us Albion All-Stars!

Killa Taiga: Lame? Who you callin' lame!

Tomoi: In case you didn't notice—

Tomoi: She didn't exactly say yes to your travesty of a confession!

Tomoi: Yeah, let that sink in, you big... um....

Tomoi: Dummy dumb-dumb! Gearcycle fanboy!

Killa Taiga: I ain't about to lose heart over a flimsy bean sprout's ranting! Call me lame all you want, but I'm gonna keep pursuin' her!

Elsam: That was actually sorta boss... Can't argue with that...

Killa Taiga: You're Tomoi, right? I heard they made you take a test, and you scored a big fat zero. Now that's just sad for a teach!

Yung Rintaro: Hahah! Now that's what I call lame!

Elsam: Grr... C'mon, Tomo-teach! You can't take this lyin' down!

Tomoi: Man, that kinda hurt...

Korwa: Sigh... I think I've seen enough here...

Killa Taiga: Huh? Wh-where'd that pretty girl go?

Tomoi: Ah, looks like Korwie left.

Korwa has already departed for home, leaving the senseless men profoundly dumbfounded.

It is not at all hard to imagine that she grew tired of watching all the pointless bickering.

Lowain: Bwahahaha! Heck, even I'd go home if I were Korwie! You dudes blow!

Elsam: You gotta remember we were dealin' with bad boys... Hard to keep Korwie interested when they're just bad to the bone.

Lowain: It's time we deployed a new secret weapon, bros. That means you, Ty.

Tyre: Wh-what? Me?

Lowain: Show us how baller you can be, bro!

Elsam & Tomoi: Whoo!

Lowain: Wait... Time out!

Elsam & Tomoi: Say what?

Lowain: My bad, my bad. It just gets old with baller boys takin' center stage the whole time, y'know? Why don't we give the girls a chance in the spotlight?

Tomoi: Yeah, I hear ya... So we're gonna, like, have some of the more spunky ones join the fun?

Elsam: Does that mean we get new characters? Are they gonna party with us at Albion Fantasy High?

Tyre: Albion... Fantasy... High?

Lowain: Aight, first thing we gotta do is come up with a few girls who've got what it takes to be baller.

The bros are eager to explore the baller heights that these new fantasies will take them, even if it means their meals go untouched.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 3

Razia, Therese, and Ejaeli—the Big Three of Mysteria—are searching for the scoundrels who have been targeting female students. However, Razia is captured by one of them. The Tsubasa gang ride their gearcycles in pursuit. Lowain, Elsam, and Tomoi are also looking for a way there.

Potato-Punk: Hehehe... Would any of you fair maidens be willing to help me polish my horns?

All Three: ...

The potato-punk pesters three young women, his vulgar laugh echoing across the empty street corner.

Potato-Punk: You're going to have a grand time, I assure you. Help me perfect my breathtakingly effective horn-care routine, and...

Killa Taiga: Yo, what the hell you doin' on Mysteria turf? Who do you think ya are waltzin' around like you own the place?

Potato-Punk: You know who you're talkin' to, tough guy?

Killa Taiga: Heh, you asked for it—

Killa Taiga: Urgh!

Potato-Punk: Hehehe... That's what you get for blabbin' instead of fighting!

The potato-punk had spotted an opening and took it, landing a clean hit on Taiga's jaw.

Killa Taiga: Tch... That was a cheap shot!

???: Do you require assistance, Mysterian?

Killa Taiga: ...!
Those bangin' forelocks! Wait, don't tell me—

Potato-Punk: And out from the woodwork comes another screwball.

Tyre: I am Tyre the Dapper of Albion Fantasy High!

Tyre: Remember my glorious mound of frontal hair the next time you hear my name!

Potato-Punk: Tire the Dabber? The heck does that even mean!

The potato-punk unleashes his clenched fist, but Tyre gracefully dodges the blow.

Potato-Punk: Gwaagh!

Taking the brunt of Tyre's counterpunch to his abdomen and Tyre's well-groomed hair to his face, the potato-punk's eyes roll up into his head.

Tyre: Hm... It wouldn't do to have my hair go awry after spending an entire night getting it just right.

All Three: ...

Tyre: Oh, dear me. Where are my manners. It can get rather hectic out here, so why don't you fine babes head on home?

Just as a smug Tyre begins combing his hair, a thunderous, irate voice pierces his ears.

???: Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to, ya damn whackjob!

Razia: ...

Therese: ...

Ejaeli: ...

Elsam: Dude, rewind! What kinda casting is this?

Lowain: The inspiration just hit me, like, bam-bam-bam! Not sure what there is to talk about, bro...

Tyre: I see... Therese no doubt holds great pride in her skills as a duelist.

Tyre: While Razia appears to be the type who will absolutely stand up for what she believes in.

Lowain: Word, Ty knows what's up. Took the words right outta my mouth!

Tomoi: Aight... But how 'bout Ejaeli?

Lowain: Eji, the quiet one? Dude, she's just low-key; dudette's got way more cojones than us when it comes time for action.

Tyre: I understand now... that what it takes to be baller is to hold steadfast to the resolution in your heart!

Tyre: Your astute observations never cease to astound me, Lowain!

Elsam: So, Ty, you were cool with that take on yourself? Was it totally the bomb or what?

Tyre: Yes! It was, indeed, the bomb! To stretch my imagination beyond the confines of reality is what makes it all so endearing!

Elsam: Jeah! You da man, Ty!

Tomoi: So what happens from there?

Lowain: Dude, it only gets ballerer from here! You'll see!

Lowain: We ain't turnin' 'em into villains though. They'll be, like, heroes of justice who totally put the bad guys to shame, with a dash of wild side.

Therese: This here's our squad leader, Ejaeli!

Razia: We coulda handled it ourselves. Sure as heck didn't need you two blowhards to butt in!

Killa Taiga: Oh crap... I didn't even notice it was you three...

Therese: Taiga... You'd better not have been lookin' down on us. No way were we gonna let some knucklehead potato-punk ruin our day.

Razia: Speak up, Taiga!

Killa Taiga: I-I was only tryin' to help out what I thought were damsels in distress—

Therese: Huh? That's low! You sayin' we ain't even girls?

Killa Taiga: N-no-no-no! P-please, don't hurt me!

Razia: You with the flashy hair! The hell's your problem?

Tyre: M-my condolences... I did not mean to intrude...

Therese: Well, ya flippin' did!

Ejaeli: ...

Tyre's knees grow weak at the girls' merciless, penetrating stares. Just then, a familiar voice sounds.

Lowain: Sup, Ty. Whatcha doin' out here?

Tyre: M-m-my fellow bros!

Another voice calls out from the other side of the road.

Tsubasa: Yo, Taiga. What happened here?

Killa Taiga: T-Tsubasa! Good timing, bro!

Yung Rintaro: Urp... Tsubasa! It's the Ejaeli gang!

Tsubasa: Hold up, Rintaro. What are those Albion playboys doing here?

Elsam: Whooo! Well, if it ain't the baller Mysteria dudes who've come out to play-ay!

Lowain: This is Albion territory, man. You two mind if I ask them to back off?

Elsam & Tomoi: Do it.

Killa Taiga: Gah, those rotten bean sprouts are seriously gonna make me go guano!

Yung Rintaro: Nuh-uh, this is Mysteria turf! You radish boys need to crawl back into whatever dirt patch you popped out from!

Tsubasa: If you sissies wanna play make-believe baller that bad, then be cool and stay in school.

Lowain: Say that again, you blondie wuss.

Tsubasa: ...
Huh?

Lowain: Huh?

Baller Dudes: Huh?

All Three: Huh?

Baller Dudes: !

All Three: !

Therese: Turf-this, turf-that—who gives a flying fluff!

Therese: Even you Albion turds oughta know we gals are the Big Three of Mysteria! Crybabies clam up 'soon as they see us!

Razia: And don't you forget it!

As intimidating as the two female students are, the men have their sights focused on another who has yet to speak.

Ejaeli: ...

Lowain: (Dudes, she's the real deal... That mask and that death glare is as scary as they say.)

Elsam: (Yeah, I don't wanna mess with her...)

Tomoi: (Brr...)

Ejaeli: Mm, mmph... Hm?

Lowain: ...?

Tyre: Um... Did she just say something?

Razia: Sigh... Boys are just so bad at listening...
Boss, care to repeat that?

Ejaeli: Mmm... Mm... Mmph.

Razia: Hm... So I see...

Therese: Ears open, boys. Ejaeli's never been a woman of many words.

Therese: If you ask me, you Albion playboys and the Tsubasa gang are nothing but a bunch of sore losers.

Therese: Just a bunch of washouts having a lame-o pissing contest...

Therese: It's just pathetic! Sad even!

Therese: Watch how our boss does things. Not a single word wasted. You wanna be badass? This is how you do it.

Ejaeli: Hm mmm hmm... (Please tell them that we should all get along like one big happy family.)

Razia: Understood, Boss.

Razia: Listen up, everyone! Ejaeli says you boys need to duke it out in all-out war.

All Three: Wha?

Ejaeli: Mmph! (Wha?)

Therese: "Listen up, you little pipsqueaks," she said.

Ejaeli: Mm hmm hmm... (Recently there have been reports of people targeting the girls of both Mysteria and Albion...)

Therese: "When the hell are you gonna finally drop this derpy tug-of-war?"

Ejaeli: Mm, hmm... Mmph... (We looked into the matter, hoping we could lend a hand.)

Therese: "You'll never be more than worthless screwups if you don't start thinking bigger."

Ejaeli: Mm... Mm, mmmph. (And also, I would like to say that I don't consider myself baller at all.)

Therese: "You sad little ninnies could never be baller even if you wanted to."

Ejaeli: Mm, mrmm, mmph, mm... (But unfortunately, that never gets across to Therese and Razia...)

Therese: "Try as you might, you'll never be as cool as Therese or Razia."
Teehee. You're makin' me blush, Boss.

Ejaeli: Mm mmrm mph... (They're really nice girls at heart, but they have a tendency to make assumptions...)

Therese: "It's time to cut the turf war bullcrap and see what you can do together!" she said.

Ejaeli: Mmmph! (I didn't say that!)

Tsubasa: Wha?

Lowain: Together? So, uh, I don't know what exactly just happened, but...

The boys heed the words of the Big Three of Mysteria.

Lowain: So, like, Albion and Mysteria girls are bein' chased around by creeps?

Tomoi: Yeah, I've caught wind of that too. There's even word of some almost being kidnapped.

Tsubasa: Pisses me off just hearing about it... What scumbags would even pull that crap...

Therese: The teachers and other adults are all taking a wait-and-see approach.

Razia: Which is why we became the decoy to lure out the culprits.

Ejaeli: Mm-mmm. (Yes, that's right.)

Therese: "I'm gonna slash your gearcycle tires and then some if you don't help," she said.

Ejaeli: Mmph!

Killa Taiga: You girls seriously got my respect! I bet those Albion chumps don't have anyone who values justice as much as you do.

Lowain: I dare you to say that again, punch-perm boy... You just dissed Kat, even if it was indirectly.

Tsubasa: Kat, Pat, Matt, who gives a rat. I can't imagine anyone worth a damn would attend the same school as you bean sprouts.

Lowain: Baller Blondie's really tryin' his best to piss me off, ain't he? Look, tough guy, you don't just go runnin' off your mouth whenever you feel like it.

Tsubasa: Fight me then, playboy.

Lowain: Bring it, bro!

Therese: Both of you shut the hell up!

Lowain & Tsubasa: Sorry, ma'am.

Razia: Ugh, you guys are hopeless... Is it that hard to take a page from Ejaeli's book and work for a better world?

Lowain: Right, so is the guy lying over there one of the perps?

Potato-Punk: Urgh...

Yung Rintaro: Ah, I forgot he was even there...

Ejaeli: Mm, mmm... (I'm not quite sure yet.)

Therese: "Geez, where are your brain cells?" she said.

Ejaeli: Mmmph... (No, I didn't...)

Tyre: Lowain, I overpowered that man earlier!

Lowain: Whoo! Nice goin', Ty! If this guy is the perp, that means Albion gets the props for layin' this case to rest.

Killa Taiga: The hell you tryin' to get at?

Tomoi: The side that resolves the incident oughta be able to call this town their turf.

Elsam: Gyahaha! Word up, man! I guess that puts an end to the turf wars for good!

Yung Rintaro: Dang! Tsubasa, that was a heckuva bang-up job they did! Whadda we do now?

Tsubasa: Calm your pits! There's no proof that the potato-punk is the perp.

Lowain: Well then, we'll just have to ask him cavalry-charge style! Let's start with a "knock, knock, anyone home?"

The Lowain bros rouse the potato-punk from his slumber.

Potato-Punk: Mng...

Elsam: So, like, you're the perp who's been tailin' girls around?

Potato-Punk: Eh... N-no! It's not just me!

Potato-Punk: Truth is... Our boss was all sweet on this fine honey and asked us to bring her in. So I've been looking all over...

Potato-Punk: He's got a mean mug, so the ladies tend to shy away from him...

Killa Taiga: Pff-hah! Talk about desperate! Nah, more like pathetic!

Yung Rintaro: Another boss, huh? I wonder if he's got a big gang...

Tsubasa: No, fool. Don't be chickening out now.

Therese: So the top dog's got his underdogs out lookin' for a chick? Pathetic from top to bottom...

Razia: I'll have him cough up the location of their hideout. We'll make those punks think twice about pulling that crap around here.

Just as Razia approaches the prostrate potato-punk, she trips on the pavement.

Razia: Ouch!

What happens next is something that no one could have foreseen.

Razia: Urgh! Who are you! L-let me go!

Therese: Razia!

Ejaeli: Mmmr! (Razia!)

Potato-Punk: Ah! Lemme on too!

Razia: Waaaah!

It happens all too fast. The gearcycle-riding thugs drag Razia away before anyone can react.

Tsubasa: Agh...

Tsubasa: The heck just happened? That was seriously messed up!

Killa Taiga: Friends of the potato-punk? Looks like we've got a heck of a lotta mashin' to do!

Yung Rintaro: I've got my potato-peeler ready!

Lowain: Wait up, dudes! Those guys smell like trouble! You sure you wanna just waltz in there like it's nothing?

Killa Taiga: It was you who said whoever puts the case to rest owns this turf! Hehe, you'd better not forget that!

Tsubasa: You Albion bean sprouts can wait right here. We'll put the sick burn on 'em.

Tsubasa: All right, dawgs! We're rollin' out!

Taiga & Rintaro: Hell yeah!

Therese: I'm counting on you guys!

Ejaeli: Mmph, mmmr...! (Please save Razia!)

Lowain: This blows... If only we had our own gearcycles...

Elsam: I should've knocked their beasts down when I had the chance!

Tomoi: Are we seriously just gonna let them walk all over us...

Lowain: I know we've gotta deal with that, but a real man rescues the girls in distress first.

Mysteria Student: La-di-doo...

Lowain: Whoo, there we go! Dude, think you can lend a bro your beast?

Mysteria Student: Huh? Why should I?

Therese: Won't you please let them borrow it? Tsubasa and his pals could really use the back up.

Mysteria Student: Ah... T-Therese! Ejaeli too?
Yes, of course...

Lowain straddles the gearcycle.

Lowain: Whoa!

Unable to maintain balance, he falls along with the vehicle.

Mysteria Student: No way... Dude! Look at all the scratches on my beast now!

Lowain: My bad... What's with this thing though... It doesn't go "vroom, vroom," and it doesn't stand up right... You sure it ain't broken?

Mysteria Student: If you can't even keep your balance, then get your hands off it!

Lowain: Hm? I figured it'd just go blazing off if I sat on it and screamed real loud... But I guess not?

Lowain: Oh fudge... Whadda we do now?

Elsam: Sit tight, Lowain!

Tomoi: We ain't licked yet!

Lowain: Huh?

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 4

Tsubasa and gang catch up to the villainous lot but are beaten badly. Lowain, Elsam, and Tomoi soon catch up—having pushed a gearcycle all the way there—and help to save the day.

The thugs who snatched Razia blaze across the wastelands with Tsubasa's gang in pursuit.

Tsubasa suspects their hideout may be nearby when the thugs dismount from their gearcycles.

Tsubasa: You punks are givin' back Razia right here, right now!

Potato-Punk: Hehehehe... She's a real catch. No way are we letting her go!

Razia, her face fraught with regret, clenches her teeth.

Razia: K-kill me!

Killa Taiga: We're here to save you!

Razia: You guys... Appreciate it, but for one of the Big Three to be captured like this, I'd rather die!

Potato-Punk: Ooh, that won't do... Not after all we did to get you here.

Potato-Punk: Yo, Big Daddy! I brought the girl! Some Mysteria brats followed us here though...

Killa Taiga: Heh! Now we get to see the face of this top dog who's so pathetic that he's gotta kidnap women.

Yung Rintaro: Even our romantically challenged Taiga wouldn't go that far!

Eggplant-Punk: Big Daddy! C'mon out!

Big Daddy: Nwaaah...

All Three: !

Razia: Th-there's no way I could go steady with someone like that! Let me go!

Big Daddy: ...!

Potato-Punk: Aw, don't say that! You might hurt Big Daddy's feelings!

Killa Taiga: Now that's a face only a mother could love...

Yung Rintaro: Still, it's no excuse to kidnap a girl.

Eggplant-Punk: You've got bigger problems, fartface!

Killa Taiga: Urgh!

Yung Rintaro: Ack!

Tsubasa: Taiga! Rintaro!

Big Daddy: Now I'm angry!

Tsubasa: Augh!

Taking advantage of Tsubasa's confusion, Big Daddy lets loose with a flurry of blows.

Tsubasa: Grgh!

Killa Taiga: Hack! Cough!

Yung Rintaro: Ngh... Tsubasa...

Razia: S-stop! Don't you lay another finger on them! I-I'll come with you, Big Daddy! So please!

The sound of Tsubasa's gang being pummeled fills the wasteland, drowning out Razia's desperate cries.

Tsubasa: (Crap... We're kinda screwed...)

His consciousness growing hazy as he feels his bones being broken, a strange sound traveling across the ground enters his eardrums.

???: Vroom, vroom, vroom...

Tsubasa: (...?)

???: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!

Tsubasa: (The heck?)

Eggplant-Punk: S-something's comin' our way...

???: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!

Lowain: Honk, honk!

Lowain: Here we are to save the day!

Tsubasa: The Albion bros! How did you—

Lowain shows up riding his own gearcycle.

Elsam and Tomoi are shoving it from behind.

Lowain: This baby needed a little push to get going, then another, and another, so we took turns till we got here.

All Three: Wahey!

Potato-Punk: You weenies... Here to help these guys out? And I thought you were all on opposing sides...

Lowain: I'll admit we've got some kinda rivalry thing goin' on, what with us bein' from different schools and all...

Lowain: But gangin' up on someone to give 'em a beatdown? There's no way we're gonna let that go!

Tsubasa: Heh... Never asked for your help... Buncha bean sprouts tryin' to be baller... Woulda been faster if you walked, you know?

Lowain: Nah, bro, a hero's gotta come in style. Just like a knight in shining armor's gotta have his ride.

Elsam: We just had to say those magic words!

Tomoi: "Kept ya waitin', huh?" Wam, bam, bam!

Big Daddy: Nwaah...

Razia: Eep! He's even creepier than I thought!

Elsam: Wait, that's their top dog? What's with his face?

Eggplant-Punk: Shut your yappers! Since you insist on gettin' in our way, you're next in line for a beatdown! Big Daddy, let's show 'em what we've got!

Big Daddy: Huuumph!

Lowain: We'll be the ones to shut you up—won't even need a veggie peeler! Let's go, baller dude!

Tsubasa: Don't need a reminder from you, bean sprout! Hope you can keep up!

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 4: Scene 2

The Lowain and Tsubasa trios join hands to rout the knaves and save Razia, sparking friendly relations between the Albion and Mysteria schools. Just as this fantasy comes to an end, the Tsubasa gang comes over in reality to greet the bros. Deeply moved by their courteousness, the bros' impressions of them change for the better.

Big Daddy: Nwaah...

Potato-Punk: Eep... Big Daddy's done for! Time for us to scram!

In awe of the bros' awesome fighting prowess, the veggie-punks turn pale and hightail it.

Lowain: Finally over, eh? Phew, what a beetdown we gave 'em. It's no wonder they're not a hit with the ladies.

Tyre: My bros!

Tomoi: Ty!

Killa Taiga: Ah! Ejaeli and Therese are here too?

Tyre comes running over with two of Mysteria's top girls.

Therese: Where's Razia!

Yung Rintaro: Right here! She's all right!

Razia: Boss! Therese!

Ejaeli: Mmr! Mmh! (Razia! Are you okay?)

Razia: Boss! I'm so sorry for all the trouble!

Ejaeli: Mmm... Mmph. (Oh, it was no trouble at all... I'm just glad you're okay.)

Razia: Hm? I'm a complete and utter failure as your sister? Say it ain't so!

Ejaeli: Mmmrph... (But I never said that...)

Ejaeli and Therese give the sobbing Razia gentle pats on the back.

Tsubasa: I guess you bean sprouts know how to hold your own after all.

Lowain: Psh, look who's talkin', Mr. Got-His-Butt-Trounced.

Tsubasa: Heh, your fault for interruptin' our comeback.

Lowain: Heheh...

The two move in for a mutual fist bump—

Perhaps a sign that their warring days are over, so that they may tread toward the future together as friends.

Lowain: So you see, we just need something epic like that to happen for us to get along with those baller dudes.

Elsam: Man, that was lit... All those bonding moments... They might as well have cradled each other in their arms...

Tomoi: The stuff of dreams... It's like Albion Fantasy High's been to hell and back.

Tyre: So I see you enhance your crisis-dealing abilities by simulating them in your imaginations daily!

Tyre: Perhaps that daily training is what makes you so brosome... You have my utmost respect!

Having returned from their fantasies, the bros take a moment to reflect when a voice calls out from above.

Tsubasa: Um... You're Lowain, right?

Tsubasa: You got something you wanted to say? Heard you calling my name a few times.

All Three: !

Tyre: Ah, Tsubasa! As a matter of fact—

Elsam: Zip it, Ty!

Tyre: Mgh!

Tomoi: So we were wonderin', like, how the other peeps on the crew were spendin' their vacay, you know.

Lowain: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Totes what he said! Man, I didn't expect to see you in the same cafe!

Tsubasa: Yeah? Well, my guys and I just finished eating, so we'll be on our way.

The Tsubasa gang gets ready to leave.

Elsam: Dang... That was too close, Ty.

Tyre: My sincerest apologies. I did not think you meant to keep it secret...

Tomoi: Whew, I almost did a wee-wee in my trou. Hope he didn't hear too much...

Tsubasa: Hey, guys...

All Three: !

Tsubasa: There's something I forgot to say...

Lowain: Yeah? What's up?

Tsubasa: Thanks for the great food all the time.

Taiga & Rintaro: Thanks, man!

Tsubasa: We've been wanting to say that for a while but kept forgetting.

Tsubasa: Your cooking's so good it almost moves us to tears, man... Here's to more good eats from you guys.

Lowain: Ah... No prob, dude! Like, anytime!

Tsubasa and his friends leave the restaurant.

Tyre: What a refreshing bunch they are! I hope we'll continue to foster a relationship with them!

Elsam: Cheers to that. I always knew they were a cool bunch!

Tomoi: What kinda chow do you think they like? Darn, we shoulda asked while we had the chance.

Elsam: I guess we can always ask later. I'm down with cookin' whatever floats their boat.

Lowain: Bwahahaha! You bros seriously gotta stop it with the double standards.

Elsam and Tomoi appear pleased to have broken the ice with the Tsubasa gang.

Having finished their lunch, the bros leave the cafe. The vacation has only just begun.

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 1

The Lowain quartet stops by a coffeehouse next and spots Lunalu. Though eager to hear her thoughts on their earlier fantasy, they give pause upon seeing how absorbed she is in her own work. Her homely manner of dress brings to mind a new delusion—this time about a girls-only room on the Grandcypher.

The crew vacation continues on as the Lowain trio brings Tyre along for a fun-filled day.

Having finished their lunch at a cafe, the quartet continue cruising through town.

Elsam: Y'know, I think we just might be able to hit it off really well with the Tsubasa bros.

Tomoi: I can dig that. Turns out they're not so bad after all.

Lowain: Dudes, listen. I know we just ate, but whaddya say we find a nice coffee joint to chill at?

Elsam: I'm down with that! For some reason, that lunch didn't fill me up at all—feels more like I spent all my energy.

Tyre: What say we try that shop over there?

Elsam's eyes light up at the sight of the coffeehouse that Tyre is pointing at.

Elsam: That girl by the windowsill... Ain't that Grandmaster Lunalu?

Lowain: F'real... Looks like she's drawing one of those whatchamacallits... illustrated storybooks.

The illustrated storybook is a form of literature that blends words and images.

Elsam: She must be romancin' a few ideas.

Elsam: Whaddya say we have Grandmaster Lunalu critique our time at Albion Fantasy High?

Lowain: ...?

Elsam: Dude, I'm talkin' about our latest episode! It was hella dramatic, and we had loads of characters. But we oughta see what a real pro thinks about it!

Lowain: Bwahahaha! That'd be totes embarrassing; I think I'll pass.

Tomoi: Hold up, this might be one of those better-safe-than-sorry scenarios...

Elsam: Who knows, she might really like it. 'Sides, it'd give you another thing to talk about next time you see Kat, Lowain.

Lowain: You think so? Hm, that, like, totally didn't cross my mind.

Tomoi: All I'm sayin' is it wouldn't hurt to ask, y'know?

Elsam: Aight. Let's try to jump in when she's least busy so we don't get in the way of her work!

The bros are excited at the thought of having Lunalu appraise their delusions.

Elsam: Hm, so Lunalu's seat is...

Lunalu: Wheeze... Huff...

Lunalu appears possessed as she furiously scribbles line after line in her sketchbook.

Lowain: (Holy smokes, Sammy... Doesn't look like she's in the mood for some small talk. Let's sit elsewhere for now...)

The bros seat themselves at a distant table for the time being, peeking over at Lunalu every now and then.

Lowain: The fact that she's at this joint dressed like that can only mean she's in deep doo-doo with a manuscript deadline...

Elsam: You mean her CtK4Life gig, right?

Citizens of the Kotatsu for Life—a group born out of the desire to create romantic storybooks, with Lunalu as its mastermind.

The nation of Sphiria, known for its cultivation of knowledge and the arts, had begun holding book fairs devoted entirely to these storybooks.

Lunalu was granted a booth after her storybook passed the book fair committee's review, yet the road was still fraught with many hardships.

She thanked her friends for helping her come so far and branded their official group name as CtK4Life.

Lowain: Bingo. I've got nothin' but mad respect for those creative types.

Tomoi: Anyone who can do what we can't obviously kicks some serious booty.

Lowain: The CtK4Life name alone is seriously literiffic. So I'm guessin' Lunalu, like, writes her stories and draws her doodles while the others back her up?

Tyre: I still recall the solidarity brewing within our crew when we went to help pick up her manuscript shortly before the book fair began!

Lowain: Good times.

Lowain: Yo, Sammy. What you got your eyes glued to Luna-rad for?

Elsam: Dude, I want you to keep this between us, but is that artist's battle armor she's got goin' on real sweet or what?

Tomoi: Totes to that. Looks really lived-in.

Lowain: You can really tell the difference from her normal duds.

Elsam: How do I put this... I guess you could say the casual look fits her so well she's practically... glowin'?

All Three: Yeet!

Lowain: Come to think of it, even Kat and the other girls couldn't possibly be in their usual getup twenty-four seven. Wouldn't be comfy to sleep in. Where do you think they change?

Elsam: To their casual wear, you mean? Hm, I've never seen 'em in PJs. Makes me wonder where they spend their off time.

Tomoi: Dude, I think you've just brought up another one of the G. Cyph's Seven Mysteries. I've only heard rumors, but there's supposedly a...

Tomoi: Girls' room where boys are absolutely forbidden!

Lowain & Elsam: A girls-only room!

Elsam: Dang, bruh... It's like you're talkin' about another dimension!

Tomoi: Aah... Gwaaah! Aw man, I can feel my lost youth with every heartbeat...

Tomoi: I get this tingly feeling all over just thinkin' about what might go on in there, y'know...

Lowain: Nah, it's gotta be in this dimension. Would be totes impossible to rest and relax without a room.

Elsam: So it's, like, their secret lair? The girls sure have it rough, having to worry about not just their threads but even makeup.

Tomoi: It all goes back to what I was tellin' Ty this morning, that lettin' loose every once in a while is vital.

Tyre: Indeed... they truly deserve to relax and put their face on as they please...

Tyre: I'm sure they each have their own preferences for cosmetics and clothing.

Tyre: It would be most lamentable if they gave up such pursuits simply because our journey is such an arduous one.

Elsam: You said it, Ty! Which is totally why we want 'em to kick off their shoes when the going gets tough.

Tyre: Truer words have never been spoken!

Lowain: I mean, what else would they be doin' in there, I wonder...

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 2

Anthuria, Chloe, and Rosamia are relaxing in the Forbidden Girls' Room when Jeanne d'Arc shows up. They fear for their safety at first but are relieved to learn that the maiden of Orleans wishes to slack with them.

Deep in the inner recesses of the Grandcypher lies a secret compartment where no man has ever dared venture into: the Forbidden Girls' Room.

A simple name it may be, but it couldn't possibly be more fitting.

For the ladies in the crew are able to show another part of themselves that they would never reveal elsewhere.

Anthuria: Ngh... My calves are all sore... Yesterday's performance sure took a toll on them...

While Anthuria is lamenting the fatigue she feels from the dance a day prior, another girl beside her is fiddling with her own hair.

Chloe: Aww, this humidity is, like totally getting to me. My curls won't play nice.
(･ω･`)

Anthuria: You're naturally curly, Chloe? I guess that means you always straighten them up. Though I think the fluffy look would suit you too.

Chloe: Nuh-uh, girl. (ヾﾉ･∀･`)

I wouldn't be caught dead without being all done up. lolz

Except in this room, of course! (o´∀`o)

Chloe: Oof! What's up with the herbal scent, Anthy?

Anthuria slaps a square, white cloth layered with a brew of medicinal herbs onto her calf.

Anthuria: Aah... Nngh...

Anthuria: Phew... It's a poultice... To help with my fatigue from yesterday's dance.

Anthuria: Ah, I hope you can keep this a secret from (Captain).

Anthuria: Because well... I want (Captain) to only see me at my best.

Chloe: Our captain's such a sweetie-poo that I don't think it'd matter, but kk, gotcha!

Chloe: You know, Anthy, I'm takin' a real shine to your mellow side. Anyhoo, what's Rosa up to?

Chloe looks to a third girl in their midst, who is tearing thin strips of paper.

Rosamia: ...

Chloe: Rosa, you still working on that collage? I remember you whipped one up for Secret Santa.

Chloe: Ooh, that's, like, way more paper than a paper factory...
Σ(ﾟДﾟ)

Rosamia: I'm always collecting paper. Making collages is my hobby.

Anthuria: Look how detailed it is... What exactly are you making?

Rosamia: Every time I spot something out of the ordinary, I just want to make a collage of it. It's a work-in-progress, so please don't look yet.

Chloe: Okey doke! （*´∀｀*）
Show us whenever you're ready!

Anthuria: Haha, being able to take it easy like this every once in a while is really nice.

Chloe: For realsies! An easygoing vacay is the best vacay! Teehee!

Rosamia: I concur.

Anthuria writhes in sensual pain with her poultice. Chloe is about to give up straightening her curls. Rosamia concentrates on her collage.

As unrelenting as their journey with the crew may often be, they always find the time to let loose in this secret lair of theirs.

However, they begin to break out in cold sweat when a fourth girl appears.

Jeanne d'Arc: ...

All Three: !

Chloe: (Jeanne... She's that wicked strong gal who whooped every bandit that attacked a village...)

Jeanne doesn't utter a word as she passes through the girls' room, disappearing into a separate chamber on the opposite end.

Chloe: You think we're gonna live through this? I hope she's not angry with me...

Rosamia: I cannot guarantee our safety... She may very well take issue with our slovenly ways and cut us down...

Anthuria: Oh no... I shouldn't have been so careless...

As the three wonder how they're going to make it through the predicament unscathed, Jeanne reemerges.

Chloe: Ohmigosh! Look at her!

Jeanne d'Arc: To embody the peace that the world currently enjoys, I've decided to take it easy for the day. I swear to slack with all my might.

Jeanne d'Arc: I see that you've already taken it upon yourselves to unwind. Won't you allow me to join you so that we may slack together in unity?

Bewildered by the words that come out of Jeanne's mouth, the others find themselves speechless.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 3

With Jeanne now among them, the girls engage in unbridled conversation. When the discussion turns to how getting closer to nature will enhance both beauty and health, they imagine what life would be like under such circumstances. Concerned that things could go awry fast, the bros bring Cagliostro into the fray to set things right. Through the legendary alchemist's valiant efforts, the girls cease the notion of going wild.

Lying deep within the Grandcypher is the Forbidden Girls' Room.

A great, wide yawn followed by another and another upturns this secret lair.

Jeanne d'Arc: Hng... Aaugh...

Chloe: Like, who would've thought Jeanne could totally slack with the best of us. lol

Rosamia: (She almost seems like a different person... What a surprise.) More like Jeanne d'Slack—

Rosamia: Eep!

Jeanne d'Arc: Hahaha, you most certainly have a way with words.

Rosamia: Urgh... I really have to stop accidentally speaking my mind...

Anthuria: Hey, you said something about world peace earlier, right? What exactly did you mean by that?

Jeanne d'Arc: I received a revelation in a dream telling me to save the world, but I do not yet know the means by which I will accomplish that.

Jeanne d'Arc: I figured that embodying the peace within myself would be a solid first step to take...

Jeanne d'Arc: Uh-huh... Yeah... Whatever...

Anthuria: (Huh?)

Rosamia: (She must be weary of long explanations...)

Chloe: Yeah, I totally get it. No judgment here in the girls' room!

Anthuria: Fine by me... Doing what you want to do is a fitting way to live. I was just surprised at the gap from Jeanne's usual self...

Anthuria: Hm... Seeing Jeanne reminds me of something about Vyrn.

Chloe: Yeah, she's got a real soft spot for Vyrnathan. (o´∀`o)
What is it you're wondering about though?

Anthuria: What does Vyrn call each of you?

Chloe: Chloe.

Rosamia: My name. Rosamia.

Jeanne d'Arc: Jeanne.

Anthuria: Mm... So he calls you all by your names.

Rosamia: You're saying it's different for you?

Anthuria: You see... He calls me Fire Girl...

Chloe & Rosamia: Fire Girl?

Chloe: OMG! LOLOLZ! You're on fire, girl!
(*´艸`*)

Rosamia: Come to think of it, he once called me Masked Lady... It was shortly after we first met...

Chloe: Vyrnathan seriously comes up with the bestest names! He can be kinda blunt though. lolz

Anthuria: But... But it's not exactly like I'm actually on fire... If I were, the Grandcypher would be in ashes...

Chloe: Pff-ahahaha! Anthy, y-you've gotta stop that! I can't even!

Anthuria: Everyone in town turns my way every time he calls me that... It's so embarrassing...

Jeanne d'Arc: Nicknames bestowed upon you by Master Vyrn are essentially terms of endearment. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Jeanne d'Arc: To be honest, I wish he had a nickname for me...

Rosamia: (I'm certain he would give you a wonderful one.)
I bet it'd be Slack Girl...

Anthuria: Rosamia, that's your inner voice speaking again.

Jeanne d'Arc: Aah... Master Vyrn, I am not worthy... You truly see me for who I am.

Anthuria: Um, Jeanne... Would you really be happy with a nickname like that?

Chloe: There's something that's been on my mind lately too.

Chloe: I heard going barefoot keeps you looking good and feeling healthy... You think maybe that's why Lyrina's always barefoot?

Anthuria: Ah! So that's why?

Rosamia: Now that you mention it, it didn't matter if we were in town or on a steep cliff—she was always barefoot.

Rosamia: That also goes for days when the snow was piling up...

Chloe: Lyrina's, like, totes adorbz so it works wonders for her... Maybe I should try it too.
(･`ω´･)

Anthuria: Hm, I still don't see how being barefoot leads to greater beauty.

Chloe: Beats me... (･ω･`)
It's just something I heard in town.

Jeanne d'Arc: Perhaps the more you are one with nature, the greater your ability to harness your qualities as a woman.

Rosamia: Now we're just going into mystical territory...

Jeanne d'Arc: Beasts that roam the grasslands, birds that soar the skies, fish that glide through pure streams, trees that bathe in bright sunshine...

Jeanne d'Arc: Living in the ruthlessness of nature may seem uncivilized at first glance, but I say they live with both dignity and beauty.

Jeanne d'Arc: Yet they eschew footwear. They go about their lives with no cloth to cover themselves.

Anthuria: So in other words... We can become more beautiful by embracing nature?

Rosamia: Indeed... There is beauty in nature. And Lyria is indeed cute. The common element is Lyria's bare feet.

Chloe: Like, you totally thought this through, d'Arc. Why don't we all try going barefoot outside the girls' room?

Jeanne d'Arc: Yes, that would be good... Perhaps a woman needs to slack, go barefoot, and become one with nature whenever the opportunity presents itself to be at her best!

Chloe: Whoa, wait up! (ﾟДﾟ`)
I just thought of this killer idea!

Rosamia: What is it?

Chloe: Going barefoot would be a feat, but if we really wanna hit the bein' a cutie jackpot, nothing beats going all natural...
（*･ε･*）

Anthuria: All natural?

Jeanne d'Arc: Perhaps you are right... For a woman to unleash her true potential, returning to our roots may actually be a shortcut forward.

Lowain: Dudes, stop right there. I'm not so sure this story's gonna end well...

Tomoi: Word. This story'll only get more cray-cray if we keep it up.

Elsam: I'm tryin' to remember something Sutera said.

Tyre: Hm? What words of enlightenment did she have?

Lowain: She told us straight up...

Lowain: That if a girl's groove goes out of sync...

Elsam: It could get the best of them and turn into you-know-what...

Tomoi: Aw man, I dunno why, but I'm having these crazy flashbacks about how iron is my body and lettuce is my blood, and...

Tyre: My goodness! So if a lady's groove does go out of sync, how do we stop her?

Lowain: Couldn't tell ya... Probably not much we could do on our side.

Tyre: S-so do you suppose even Vira may get back to nature?

Tyre: Of course, if that is her wish, I would do well to respect it!

Tomoi: Dude, we'd better be ready for the worst. It'd be an apocalypse not just for the crew but for the world.

Elsam: We're total noobs when it comes to helping girls work on their groove... We need someone more in-the-know to help out.

Lowain: I know just the person!

Lowain: Someone who'll stop the girls from going all natural, and prevent doomsday!

Talk is aflutter in the girls' room as they discuss how best to enact their plan to go into the wild.

Chloe: So, like, how exactly do we do this?

Rosamia: Of course, simply laying our feet bare won't be enough. We'll need to procure our own food and hunt our own prey.

Jeanne d'Arc: I will take on that responsibility. But before that, we will also need to secure a supply of drinking water...

Rosamia: I'll go scoop some up from the river. Oh, we'll also need a fire to cook whatever game we catch.

Anthuria: I can handle that. I'll do my best to prepare a meal that (Captain) will want to enjoy with me in the comforts of nature.

Rosamia: It can be difficult to get the firewood going. I suggest using this.

Rosamia produces the paper she uses for her collages and begins tearing.

Chloe: We'll be, like, total cutie patooties when we're done! This is sooo much more contact with nature than just going barefoot!
ヾ(o´∀`o)ﾉ

For beauty and for good health, the girls continue discussing their wild strategy. Just then, another visitor enters the girls' room.

Cagliostro: Enough!

Anthuria: Cagliostro!

Cagliostro: What do you think you're all doing?

Chloe: Ehehe... We were mulling over the best way to cute it up using nature! (*´艸`)
Starting with going barefoot! lulz

Chloe: Thanks to Lyrina for the killer idea!
（*´∀｀*）

Jeanne d'Arc: It would appear that the path to a life of beauty and health lies in nature.

Cagliostro: Look, it's a common superstition that walking barefoot will do wonders for your looks...

Cagliostro: But that sure as hell is no excuse to plop stones and dirt onto the Grandcypher!

Chloe: But I heard it works like a charm.
(･`ω´･)

Chloe: Hey, you want some of this plum kelp jerky? It's real good. My favorite. Maybe we can be BFFs!
(^3^)b

Cagliostro: Don't talk with kelp in your mouth! Oh, and comb that mess of hair while you're at it!

Jeanne d'Arc: ...

Cagliostro: Jeanne. Where do you think you're going?

Jeanne d'Arc: Our supply of cookies has run out, so I will go purchase some. After all, it is my duty to hunt the prey... This will be good practice.

Cagliostro: You're gonna go out like that? You won't be able to live it down!

Anthuria: C'mon, Cagliostro, why don't you join us in going wild?

Cagliostro: If that's really the route you wanna go, you'll have to build your own hut out of mud and clay before worrying about bringing home the bacon—

Cagliostro: ...!
They almost got me there...

Cagliostro: (Hoo boy! That was way too close...)

Cagliostro: (This is bad... Whatever phenomenon is overtaking this girls' room is clearly infectious.)

Cagliostro: (This thinning of the boundary between fact and fiction is going to distort civilization as we know it... This could spell calamity for all the skies...)

Cagliostro: (There is only one solution... And that is to remind them of how properly functioning members of society go about their days!)

Cagliostro: (But first...)

Cagliostro: Gimme a minute. I'll be right back with my special girls' room outfit.

Jeanne d'Arc: How frantic you seem... Is something the matter, Cagliostro...

Rosamia: Hm...

The call of the wild in the girls' room increases for every minute of Cagliostro's absence.

Cagliostro: Ta-da!

Cagliostro: This is my off-hours outfit! Doesn't seeing me like this remind you of anything?

Chloe: Hm, not bad... But TBH, it's like, the total opposite of naturalism.
(･ω･`)

Cagliostro: (There they go with that nature talk again... That is seriously one messed-up reaction to my outfit...)

Cagliostro: (Wait a minute...)

Cagliostro: (The whole reason they're bringing up nature at all is for the sake of health and cuteness. Well then...)

Cagliostro: This might come off as a bit sudden, but it's time for Cagliostro's Think-Fast Test: Pretty Edition! Here we go!

Anthuria: Think-Fast Test?

Cagliostro: First question!

Cagliostro: While walking in town, a monster leaps out! What do you do?

Anthuria: We hunt it, I suppose. Survival of the fittest is the rule of nature... We can't show weakness.

Jeanne d'Arc: What a silly question.

Rosamia: So beauty and health lie beyond that... Hm, nature can be so fascinating.

Cagliostro: Bzzt! The correct answer... is to scream at the top of your lungs! As cute as you possibly can!

Anthuria: What do we do after that?

Cagliostro: You wait for your prince to ride in on a white stallion. There's so many of them just dying to protect you, and it's only right to give them the chance to do so!

Cagliostro: Trashing the monster should be your last resort.

Cagliostro: Those are the basics of the basics!

Rosamia: Do you really think the cavalry would come to our aid so easily...

Cagliostro: On to the second question! It's your night out in town. Some hammered fool gives you trouble. What do you do?

Chloe: Speakin' of, did you hear the one about how Lammie got dumped again?

Cagliostro: Who cares! Don't change the subject!

Jeanne d'Arc: Zzz... Zzz...

Cagliostro: Look alive, Jeanne!

Jeanne d'Arc: Mm... Sorry...

Cagliostro: What slipshod manner of lifestyle is this you've latched onto? Forget about nature for a moment.

Cagliostro: Anthuria, why do you even have that poultice on?

Anthuria: Oh, this? Well...

Cagliostro: To help your body recover so that you can pull off more incredible performances.

Cagliostro: Rosamia. Your collage thing is a fine hobby, but stop making a mess of the scraps.

Rosamia: I thought it'd make for great kindling...

Cagliostro: Chloe. That plum kelp jerky you love so much doesn't grow on trees. Would you be okay with that?

Chloe: Wha... You serious? Shucks... Total buzzkill...

Cagliostro: It's okay to let go when no one else is around. But don't forget that in the end, we're still girls.

Cagliostro: So! It's time for some exercises to remind you barefoot natureheads of sky-ciety!

Cagliostro: All right then, Jeanne d'Arc! Repeat after me! "Eeew! Monsters! Someone help me!"

Jeanne d'Arc: E-eew, monsters... Someone help me...

Cagliostro: Put some effort into it, girl! Moving on!

Cagliostro: "I'm Jeanne! And aren't I just oh... so... cute?"

Jeanne d'Arc: I... I'm Jeanne. And aren't I just oh... so... cute?

Cagliostro: That's the spirit! Thrust out that pinky! Now softly poke your cheeks with your index and middle fingers and bend that waist!

Cagliostro does everything within her power to dispel the untamed wilds that pervade the girls' room.

Cagliostro: (If their warped understanding of "cute" takes hold, everything I've ever done will be for naught...)

Cagliostro: (I'll stop at nothing to cut off this outbreak of savagery at its roots!)

The exercises meant to improve their groove continue throughout the day.

Cagliostro: Huff... Huff... There, I've taught you everything there is to know about being pretty...

Jeanne d'Arc: Zzz... Yawn... So cute...

All Three: ...

Cagliostro: Pant... Wheeze...

Anthuria: That's a really old-fashioned way of thinking, Cagliostro.

Cagliostro: Huh?

Chloe: Mm-hm, what she said. You've got waaay too many delusions about what it means to be a girl.
(･ω･`)

Chloe: We're, like, a million years ahead of you!
（*･ε･*）

Cagliostro: Wha... Are you saying I'm not with the times?

Anthuria: I don't know if I'd say you're mistaken, but isn't cuteness so much more multi-faceted?

Anthuria: The important thing is the happiness others feel toward you. It's not about doing this or saying that.

Chloe: You said it, Anthy! (´▼｀)
I can just tell when a girl's got her groove on! Like, all it takes is a lil' chat.

Cagliostro: Hm...

Cagliostro clams up at the retort.

Rosamia: I'm done. This one's for you, Cagliostro.

Rosamia finally completes her piece de resistance of a collage and hands it to Cagliostro.

Cagliostro: This is... It's Ouroboros!

Anthuria: Hm? Really?

Chloe: Ooh, I wanna see too! （*´∀｀*）

Before them is a collage of the serpent that Cagliostro keeps around as a familiar.

Chloe: It's on fleek!
(ﾟДﾟ)

Anthuria: It's beautiful. Wow...

Rosamia: It's not much, but I hope you'll accept it.

Cagliostro: Huh? Ah, sure...

Rosamia: Great.

Anthuria: Hm? Is that joy on her face?

Chloe: Sure is. I can practically see the letters j-o-y spelled out on her face. So, Cag, you want some of this kelp jerky now?

Jeanne d'Arc: Zzz... World... peace... Zzz...

Rosamia: I wonder what I should make next... I still have some scraps left...

The dwellers of the girls' room resume their usual routines.

Cagliostro: ...

And before long, the need to go back to nature has all but dissipated.

Cagliostro's desperate measures have put an end to the force of nature brewing within everyone's hearts.

Cagliostro: (I did it... The skies are now safe.)

Cagliostro: Jeanne. Which shop did you plan on buying cookies from?

Jeanne d'Arc: ...!

The eyes of the half-asleep Jeanne open wide at the word "cookies."

Jeanne d'Arc: The one with the blue roof in the central plaza. The wafting scent of butter as you approach is... intoxicating...

Cagliostro: I see. I'll go buy them for you after resting up a bit.

Jeanne d'Arc: You will? Aah, you are too kind!

Cagliostro: Later, that is! I'm munching on kelp jerky right now.

With another monumental accomplishment under her belt, Cagliostro surrenders to the relaxing atmosphere of the girls' room.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 4

Just as the bros' delusion about the Forbidden Girls' Room comes to a close, Lunalu calls out to them for storyboarding advice. They enter a new fantasy where Lowain becomes Prince Popol, and the bros fight off a gorilla, macho, and their combined form—Machorilla.

It is still early afternoon as the Lowain bros mellow out in a fragrant haze of caffeine-induced bliss.

Lowain: Dude... Cag is seriously awesome possum.

???: ...

Elsam: Anyone who's mastered the power of cute like her is obviously on a whole nother level...

???: ...

Tomoi: The girls' room is so out of this world that I wasn't sure our minds could handle it.

???: ...

Tyre: My fellow bros... A shadow looms over us...

Lowain: Hm?

The three turn their gaze to the side to find a pallid figure standing before them.

???: ...

All Three: Eep!

Tyre: M-my bros, please calm yourselves! It is only Lunalu!

Lunalu: ...

Lowain: Ah...

Elsam: (Uh-oh peperoncini-o's... You think she heard us?)

Tomoi: (Shoot! I think our rep just went way down the drain!)

Lunalu: I'm drained...

Tomoi: Drained? Of what?

Lunalu: Of ideas!

A terrible sadness shows on Lunalu's face as she screams in desperation.

Lowain: Luna-rad, somethin' happen to ya? We'll hear you out.

Lunalu: Sniff... Thank you... There's another book fair coming up soon, so I was working on my storyboards...

Elsam: What's a storyboard?

Tomoi: It's that thing you plan out rough sketches on. Wait, there's gonna be another book fair?

Lunalu: Yes... It'll be on a smaller scale than the previous one...

Lunalu: I figured it would be the perfect place to announce my latest interpretation of the Popol Saga...

The Popol Saga is a sweeping epic that spans nine volumes. Its author remains unknown and the work unfinished.

Because the conclusion, which would have been the tenth volume, does not exist, fans speculate endlessly. A culture of rabid fans promoting their own conclusion was soon born.

Lunalu happens to be an avid reader of the Popol Saga, in addition to being a storybook artist herself.

Lunalu: Perhaps I'm blinded by my preconceptions... No matter how hard I try, I can't get the very last part just right.

Lunalu: As usual the deadline's really close...

Lunalu: If I don't finish the storyboards today, I... Sob...

Lunalu: So I figured the best thing I could do was swallow my pride and ask for advice...

Lunalu: And when I looked up, I saw you four sitting there...

Lowain: Whoa! Grandmaster Lunalu wants advice from us?

Lunalu: But if it's too much trouble, that's okay... Sorry for bothering you. You can just pretend I never asked...

All Three: We're in!

Lunalu: Huh?

Tyre: I admit I am no match for my fellow bros, but I shall also do what I can to assist.

Lunalu: Really? Thank you so much...

Lunalu: W-well, can you try reading this for starters?

Lunalu: Um, feel free to stop halfway through if you find that it's too much... There are... suggestive drawings after all...

Lunalu's main interest lies in the romantic relationships between the male characters in these storybooks.

Lowain: Nah, it's cool. We're always lookin' to expand our horizons—ain't nothing we can't handle.

Lunalu is somewhat hesitant as she hands the stack of storyboards over to Lowain.

The bros pass them around as they read through each one.

Lunalu: ...

Elsam: Dude, Lowain. Hand over the next page already.

Lowain: Gimme a sec. I'm still on this one.

Tomoi: We're all waitin' on you, slowpoke! What happens to Mikhail next?

Lowain: Oh, you're still there? So you see, after Mikhail enters the forest...

All Three: Whoa!

Elsam: Spoiler alert, man! It's your fault we haven't gotten that far yet.

Elsam: Wait, Ty, did you just scream with us?

Tyre: Ahem...

Tyre: My apologies. I was merely expressing my wish to enjoy the story through Lunalu's storyboards...

Tomoi: You can say that again. Grandmaster Lunalu's work is the bomb!

Lunalu: R-really?

The quartet leaf through Lunalu's storyboard draft with joy on their faces.

Lunalu: Well, what do you think? I'd love to hear your honest thoughts...

Elsam: Was real good, but I don't get why this old-timer's gotta get in the way of Popol's quest for true love.

Lunalu: Oh, the chancellor? He can be really hard-headed, you see. The moment he learns of Popol's and Mikhail's feelings for each other, he tries to pull them apart.

Lunalu: He prioritizes the kingdom's prosperity above all else, even the prince's happiness.

Tomoi: And what's up with this lieutenant? The stuff he does is downright dirty, and he just doesn't know when to give up!

Lunalu: That lieutenant is trying to take over the kingdom. He's a ruthless go-getter who'll do whatever it takes to climb the ranks. And he sees Popol as an obstacle.

Lowain: Popol seriously needs to get his priorities straight. Forget about the kingdom, forget about the throne, 'cuz love is totally where it's at.

Lunalu: Huh?

Lunalu: You think pinning him between his feelings and his standing as a prince might not be the best way to take this?

Lowain: Nah... This is one story where you just wanna keep pushing in one direction, if you ask me.

The trumpet of war has sounded.

Prince Popol watches from inside the castle while his nation's forces battle the invading army far in the distance.

Prince Popol: Aw shoot... I can't believe it's come to this... But somewhere on that battlefield—

Elsam: Prince! Reporting in! The enemy forces are goin' full aggro on us! We're gonna get rekt!

Tomoi: Our army's bummed out like whoa. We could be total goners soon. Like, Ultimate Oh-Crap-Crap-Crap-ahamut.

Prince Popol: Yo, Tommy, Sammy... I know this is a lot to ask at a time like this, but...

Elsam: It's about Mik, right? Yeah, we sorta connected the dots!

Prince Popol: ...!

Mik, otherwise known as Mikhail, is someone Popol cares deeply about. As the son of the enemy general, Mikhail is certain to be somewhere on the chaotic battlefield.

The union-to-be of Popol and Mikhail is rendered impossible by the war between their nations.

Tomoi: Go for it, Prince. War's for total losers, man. But you? You deserve to be happy with Mik!

Prince Popol: Sammy... Tommy!

With his close aides behind him, the prince marches out onto the battlefield in search of Mikhail.

Prince Popol: Huff... Huff... Mik... Wait for me!

Elsam: Prince! Look ahead! We've got a random encounter... with the chancellor!

Elsam: Chancellor Gorilla might be shredded, but he's not exactly the brightest banana in the jungle, so people just call him Chancorilla!

Chancorilla: You're not getting past me!

Fully aware of the relationship between Popol and Mikhail, the chancellor is trying to split them apart for the prosperity of the kingdom.

Tomoi: Seriously? Chancorilla wants us to rumble with him! Are we game or what? Not sure we can handle that much beefcake though...

Tomoi: Either way... Showing up butt-naked in public—on a battlefield no less—that kind of confidence is bad news!

Prince Popol: None of that matters! Love comes first, one's kingdom second!

Prince Popol: Raaah!

Chancorilla: Oof!

Tomoi: Nice one, Prince! Sock it to him!

Having awakened to the power of love, Prince Popol tears Chancellor Gorilla a new one and is ready to advance.

Chancorilla: Prince Popol... You will remain on this battlefield!

Tomoi: He got back up... I know he's a few bananas short of a split, but he's still got enough of 'em to blow us to kingdom come...

Elsam: Rgh! You keep going, Prince! You too, Tommy!

Prince Popol: Sammy!

Elsam: I'll take things from here! Go find your Mik and live the good life, Prince!

Tomoi: What he said! C'mon, we gotta go!

Prince Popol: You dweeb... Sammy! You'd better come outta this alive!

With painful reluctance Prince Popol moves forward with Tomoi. However, there is another standing in their path.

Tomoi: It's Lieutenant Macho!

Lt.'s Subordinate: Hehehe... So you finally show your face, Prince. The lieutenant knew you'd come.

Lt. Macho: Prince Popol! Royalty who would abandon their soldiers to save themselves deserve a thousand deaths!

Lt. Macho: But this makes it all the more easier... Burying you will allow the army to take command of the nation!

Prince Popol: Zip it, muscles-for-brains! I've always hated you and your stinky muscles!

Prince Popol: Hrghh! Hyaaah!

Lt.'s Subordinate: Gwaah!

Lt. Macho: Rgh... Wait...

Prince Popol: You machos have no place in my kingdom! That's why I'm deportin' every last one of you—

Prince Popol: Oh crap, can't be wastin' time here! C'mon, Tommy!

Tomoi: My bad, Prince... Might have to ask you to go on alone though... Check that out.

Lt. Macho: Ma... cho!

Prince Popol: Dang! Should've expected that coming from a macho...

Tomoi: I'll hold him here and catch up with you, like, ASAP.

Prince Popol: Darn it, Tommy... That's a promise! I'll be waitin'!

It is with the assistance of his most loyal followers that Prince Popol is able to continue searching for Mikhail.

Lowain: So how 'bout we say I ran to Mik at the speed of, like, Mach 99, and then we both lived happily ever after?

After hearing the Lowain bros' idea of a fitting conclusion, Lunalu stands with mouth agape.

Lunalu: But the Popol Saga is supposed to be about all these different elements—from the kingdom, to the war, to the people, to social status, and...

Lunalu: You erased all traces of context!

Elsam: Makes you feel wicked cool when you can muscle through everything.

Tomoi: Word. Don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes you gotta know when to pump it up and go with the flow.

Lunalu: Absolutely not—there are too many problems with your version! For starters, what even is a Chancorilla? And what's your deal with machos!

Lowain: You see, there's this macho the three of us can never forgive. And Chancorilla? We threw him in there for good storytelling.

Lowain: But you've got a point, Luna-rad. A good story's, like, a megaton times infinity better if you can end with a catharsis.

Elsam: So it's back to the drawing board? Dude, how do we even move the story forward from there?

Tomoi: This calls for some morphin' action...

Tyre: Morphing? Tomoi, what sort of newfangled concept is that?

Elsam: Whoa now, Tommy. You might be on to something...

Lowain: Dude, that just might work!

Prince Popol: Oh dang... This is one battlefield gone wild... How am I ever gonna find Mik in here?

Prince Popol scans his eyes across the war zone for any sign of Mikhail.

Elsam & Tomoi: Prince!

Prince Popol: Sammy! Tommy! Haha! You're actually alive!

Elsam: Heck yeah we are! Don't go killin' us off in your head! Like we'd lose to that pushover of a gorilla!

Tomoi: Even the macho was easy-peasy lemon-squeazy. So, like, what are you up to anyway, Prince?

Prince Popol: I've gotta find Mik and look for my chance to make a clean getaway...

However, Lowain's heart skips a beat when he turns around.

Chancorilla: You shall not pass!

Lt. Macho: Prince Popol! It's time to meet your maker!

Chancellor Gorilla and Lieutenant Macho, who should have been felled by Elsam and Tomoi, stand before the trio.

Prince Popol: Ugh, you just don't know when to quit, do you? Ain't got time to be messin' around with you butt monkeys!

Lt.'s Subordinate: Fools! We still have our ace in the hole! If you will, Lieutenant!

Lt. Macho: Ma... choooo!

Chancorilla: Hraaaargh!

Elsam: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Why'd the lighting on them go all wack?

Tomoi: Beats me. Looks like they're gettin' vibed up though...

Lt.'s Subordinate: Bwahahaha! The chancellor was on our side all along!

Lt.'s Subordinate: Just so you know, Prince Popol! The two have tapped into the forbidden arts in order to slay you!

Prince Popol: Wha?

???: Gwaaaargh!

Prince Popol: Oh snap! Did they just fuse together?

Lt.'s Subordinate: Mwahahaha! The ultimate life-form Machorilla has descended upon us!

Lt.'s Subordinate: By unleashing the forbidden art known as Steaming-Hot Bowl of Malarkey, literally anything goes now!

Lt.'s Subordinate: Please, Machorilla! Put Prince Popol in his place and lead us to salvation!

Machorilla: Machorillaaaa!

Tomoi: Dang... We're kinda, like, mega-doomed, but least we can go out with a bang.

Prince Popol: Look, I know they just went full-on super monkey, but now's our chance! This makes it a smoother twofer!

Elsam: Word. It'll be like creaming two muscleheads with one slap. Let's spank that Machorilla.

Prince Popol: It's on... We do this, and I get to live happily ever after!

All Three: Jeah!

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 1

The bros extend glorious praise to themselves for coming up with the whole Machorilla scenario, but Lunalu stands dumbfounded. However, it does spark creativity in the illustrated storybook artist, allowing her to continue work on her latest production.

Lunalu could not have foreseen the disaster that would ensue from asking the Lowain bros for advice on her storyboards.

Although they are earnest in their attempt to craft a suitable narrative to fit in with Lunalu's work, the end result proves to be rather preposterous.

Lowain: So Prince Popol trounces Machorilla, finds Mikhail, and then they, like, live happily ever after.

Tomoi: Now that's an epic conclusion with the dankest catharsis if I ever saw one.

Lunalu: No, no, no—all you did was throw everything down the drain!

Lunalu: And what's with the lieutenant and chancellor fusing together? Urgh, how do you even come up with this baloney!

Tyre: B-but perhaps... we can also consider that this brainstorming session has presented a possible approach to freeing the Popol Saga of its constraints.

Tyre: Lunalu, are you not curious as to how the remainder of this tale will unfold? We've already come this far!

Lunalu: Hm, you make a good point...

Lunalu: It's true I've been too caught up in the details. I need to get a better handle on keeping up momentum and maintaining flow.

Lunalu: At the very least, I can say that the chancellor and lieutenant being in cahoots might actually work really well.

Lowain: F'real?

Lunalu: Let's just say I definitely couldn't have come up with the idea myself.

Lunalu: Of course, I won't be able to use the plot device as is, but I'll definitely be able to repurpose it.

Lunalu: Cough... Th-thanks. I shouldn't forget how important it is to look at the big picture. I think I can make progress with my storyboards now.

Elsam: Super glad we could help, Luna-rad!

Tomoi: If you need anything else, just give us a holler!

Tyre: Although I was unable to contribute many ideas, I pray that the work on your storybook proceeds smoothly.

Lunalu: Thank you.

Lunalu: By the way, I just have to ask... You guys didn't peek into the girls' room, did you?

All Three: !

Tomoi: Whatever you might've heard earlier was all in our heads! Like, man, if Jeanne was really that adorable...

Lowain: I know we probably look like filthy playboys, but we'd never stoop that low!

Elsam: But if we made ya feel totally yucky and icky inside, then that's on us!

Lunalu: Oh, no need to be alarmed... I don't really suspect you. I overheard a few things earlier, so I just thought I'd ask.

Lunalu: Besides, fantasizing is something everyone does—it can really take you places. Just as long as you're not causing trouble for anyone else, feel free to keep at it.

Lunalu: Well, it's back to storyboarding for me.

Leaving the quartet to their own devices, Lunalu returns to her own table, humming the entire time.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 2

Knowing that Lunalu overheard some of their talk about the girls' room, the Lowain trio leaves the coffeehouse with pangs of conscience, which are further exacerbated when they run into Jeanne d'Arc in front of a cookie shop later.

The bros are out and about in town again as dusk approaches. But the expressions on their faces suggest consternation rather than pleasure.

Lowain: That was cuttin' it way too close... If Jeanne ever got the wrong idea and thought we were actually sneakin' peeks in the girls' room...

Elsam: We'd be deader than dead meat...

Tomoi: How 'bout we whip up a snack for Luna-rad later? She'll probably be pulling an all-nighter anyway.

Tomoi: After seeing how much she trusted us back there, I just wanna give her some kinda thank-you gift, you know? Gotta give mad respect where it's due.

Lowain: Nice idea, Tommy. Now we've just gotta remember to keep our fantasizing in check...

Elsam: My bad. That was my stomach talkin'.

Lowain: Ah... You too, Sammy?

Tomoi: Must've used up our brainpower with all that storyboardin' talk. How 'bout we grab somethin' to munch on for our walk back to the G. Cyph?

Eager for something that will stave off their hunger, the four come across a crowded shop along the side of the road.

Tyre: A popular place this must be! It seems they specialize in cookies.

Tomoi: Mm! Get a whiff of that butter... C'mon, dudes, we're buyin'!

Elsam: Wait up! Over there...

Elsam points to the crowd gathered in front of the cookie shop. A familiar figure stands among them.

Jeanne d'Arc: ...

All Three: It's legit Jeanne!

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 3

Jeanne starts making her way back to the Grandcypher with the Lowain quartet. When the bros see Tyre escorting Jeanne like a true gentleman, they realize they could learn a thing or two from him.

Lowain: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't see this one comin'...

Tomoi: It'd be awkward if she came over, but that'd feel way wacked out for us... What now?

Elsam: She hasn't noticed us yet... We can just pretend we never saw anything and...

Repentant in their hearts for fantasizing about the maiden of Orleans earlier, the abashed trio cannot bear to face her.

Tyre: Jeanne d'Arc! A pleasure running into you here!

Jeanne d'Arc: ...?

Jeanne d'Arc: Oh, it's you boys... What rare happenstance it is to run into you here.

Lowain: Er, right... Totally!

Lowain: (Learn to take a hint, Ty...)

Elsam: Y-yeah, what a coinkydink...

Elsam: (She's cute...)

Tomoi: So whatcha doin' out here?

Tomoi: (I'm gettin' tense already...)

Jeanne d'Arc: I was considering buying some cookies from this shop as a souvenir for (Captain).

Jeanne d'Arc: As a thank-you to our captain for granting us this vacation.

Jeanne's hands are full with what seems like equipment and other items that may come in handy for their usual skyfaring.

Tyre: We were just discussing gnoshing some cookies on our walk back!

Jeanne d'Arc: Gnosh?

Tyre: Indeed, gnosh we shall!

Jeanne d'Arc: Are you sure that's an okay thing to do on the road?

Tyre: This shop wraps the cookies in a way that facilitates gnoshing on the road!

Jeanne d'Arc: I see... If that is the recommended course of action, then I suppose it is fine.

Having purchased a bundle of cookies, the group of five are ready to return together.

Tyre takes one cookie out of the bag and demonstrates his masticating prowess to Jeanne.

Tyre: Mm! The sweet, mellow aroma of this butter is such bliss on my tongue! I can feel the joy spreading to every corner of my face!

Tyre: There is no need to hesitate, Jeanne!
Right, my fellow bros?

Lowain: Hm? Ah, oh yeah. Gnosh 'em like there's no tomorrow.

Jeanne d'Arc: Very well. Perhaps paying too much heed to etiquette right now would get us nowhere.

Jeanne musters the mettle to take a bite out of a cookie.

Jeanne d'Arc: These are quite tasty indeed. And... I was hesitant at first, but I must say this is rather fun.

Tyre: My thoughts exactly! My horizons have expanded ever since my fellow bros took me under their wings!

Jeanne d'Arc: Is this how you usually eat your snacks?

Lowain: Yep. Pretty standard stuff for us. We're just glad you're enjoying yourself.

Jeanne d'Arc: Haha... I thank you for teaching me this valuable lesson before the vacation comes to a close.

Seeing Jeanne and Tyre chat it up, the voices of the Lowain trio turn to hushed whispers.

Lowain: Dudes, we'll be takin' a dirt nap if she finds out what we were fantasizing about earlier...

Elsam: Nah, you're thinking too hard on it.

Tomoi: She's a real kind person. 'Course, that doesn't mean I plan on mentioning the girls' room...

Tyre: Ah... My apologies for not noticing earlier. Jeanne, allow me to help you carry those items. It can't be easy gnoshing on cookies with your hands full...

Jeanne d'Arc: Ah, thank you. Here, can you take this one?

Just as Tyre grabs her belongings, a carriage draws close from behind.

Tyre moves without hesitation.

Jeanne d'Arc: ...?

The carriage runs right past them, nearly sideswiping Tyre.

Jeanne d'Arc: ...!

Jeanne d'Arc: Haha... Thank you. You are so thoughtful.

Tyre: It was nothing at all!

Lowain, Elsam, and Tomoi watch from behind with incredulity.

Lowain: (Dude! Did you see that?)

Tomoi: (That was one hella slick move...)

Elsam: (Ty's just way too cool! Best part is those suave one-liners!)

Lowain: (Not to mention how he took that stuff off her hands like a real pro!)

Tomoi: (Let her know you can make her life easier by carrying her goods, then move in for the swoop...)

Elsam: (His killer kindness is somethin' else... Ty's gonna go places with this.)

Tyre: Ah, I almost forgot! Jeanne, there is something else my fellow bros taught me today.

Jeanne d'Arc: Oh? I'd love to hear more about it.

Tyre: My apologies if this seems uncouth!

Tyre breaks a cookie into pieces and lays a chunk on his palm.

Tyre: Now this is where the magic happens... Up, up, and away!

Tyre nimbly intercepts the falling cookie piece and accompanying crumbs with his mouth.

Jeanne d'Arc: Marvelous! Haha, I must say I was surprised when you suddenly flung it into the air!

Jeanne d'Arc: This takes me back. I remember the boys in Orleans used to do this type of thing.

Jeanne d'Arc: Though they were often scolded by the adults for being ill-mannered...

Tyre: But that, in itself, can be a fun diversion every now and then! Won't you give it a shot, Jeanne?

Jeanne d'Arc: Haha, very well...

Jeanne d'Arc: Up, up, and away!

Following Tyre's example, Jeanne hurls a piece of cookie upward and catches it with her mouth.

Jeanne d'Arc: Mm! Hahaha, I did it.

Tyre: Most splendid, Jeanne!

Jeanne d'Arc: I never would have done so normally, but I had to give it a try after seeing how much fun you were having.

The bros, still watching from behind, continue to whisper among themselves.

Lowain: This is it, bros...

Elsam: This is what, Lowain?

Lowain: Communication skills—

Lowain: The mojo we've been lookin' for!

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 4

Lowain asks Tyre for advice on communication skills. Elsam and Tomoi seem equally interested. Jeanne decides to return ahead of time while the bros undertake a gentleman's crash course from Tyre.

Elsam: Communication skills? Isn't that what Lowain was goin' on about during lunch?

Elsam: Oh snap!

Tomoi: That means Ty...

Lowain: Bingo. Check out that look on Jeanne's face... It ain't somethin' you see every day.

A genuine smile shows on Jeanne's countenance as her conversation with Tyre deepens.

Lowain: Sammy, Tommy, think you could pull that off with Jeanne if you tried?

Elsam: Negatory.

Lowain: I know we're the ones who should be layin' out brosome advice, but communication is one thing we totally need a hand with!

Taking notice of their boisterous mirth, Jeanne comments on the fact.

Jeanne d'Arc: Hm? It appears they wish to speak to you.

Tyre: My fellow bros? I wonder why.

Jeanne d'Arc: Perhaps it is a discussion fit for men's ears only. I'll go on back to the Grandcypher first. Thank you for helping me carry my belongings.

Tyre: Not at all! The pleasure is all mine for a wonderful time!

Tyre and the Lowain bros see off Jeanne.

Tyre: Have a safe trip back! Maybe I'll catch you later!

All Three: Laters!

Only the men remain.

Lowain: Ty, a man among men...

Tomoi: Dude, your uber gentlemanliness makes you the biggest gent among all the guys on the G. Cyph.

Tyre: Gent?

Lowain: You show some of that pluck to Vira, and you just might have a chance with her!

Tyre: V-V-Vira! Wh-why does her name spring up at a time like this?

Elsam: Relax, Ty! Maybe you can start by giving us a crash course on bein' a gentleman!

Tyre: A crash course?

Lowain: Word. Show us how it's done, and you'll be uppin' your own game! C'mon, bros...

All Three: You da bomb, Ty!

Having come to realize the need for greater communication skills in order to deepen relationships with women...

The bros treat Tyre with every iota of respect in their bodies after seeing his gentlemanly comport with Jeanne.

For now it is their turn to learn the ways of the consummate man.

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 1

Elsam brings up the time he bumped into an irritated Korwa out in town once and had trouble consoling her. Tyre offers sensational advice, thereby commanding respect from the bros.

Having seen Tyre's chivalrous conduct in action, the bros entreat him for a lesson in improving their communication skills.

Lowain: At the end of the day, we're all party peeps; we definitely know enough to get friendly with girls.

Tomoi: And we can control the flow of a convo pretty well, so it ain't like we're comin' in totes clueless.

Elsam: But that's just scratchin' the surface really. It never gets any deeper than that.

Lowain: What we need is some real gentleman skills, like what Ty's got. Then we could get on everyone's A-list.

Lowain: Who woulda thought Ty'd be our man... Sometimes, you just never know.

Tyre: I, er... don't exactly recall doing anything out of the ordinary...

Tyre: But if I can help my fellow bros become better versions of themselves, then I'll gladly lend my assistance! Go ahead—ask away!

Tyre: What is it exactly you wish to know?

Lowain: Um... Dude, how do I even answer that?

Elsam: Aight, I've got this! Can you gimme your two rupies on the following scenario?

Elsam: Truth is... I bumped into Korwie the other day.

Lowain: Whoa. Sammy, when'd that happen?

Elsam: You dudes remember the day I lost that primal beast name game?

Lowain: Huh? Ahh... Yeah, it's coming back now. Yggy was about the only thing you could say.

Tomoi: The penalty for losing was to restock the G. Cyph kitchen. You went out alone, right?

Elsam: Yep, that was the day...

Elsam was out shopping for ingredients while Korwa was out procuring materials for her latest fashion designs. They bumped into each other on the road and decided to walk together.

Korwa: Ugh, that merchant was the worst. The first time around he definitely told me to make sure the skirt doesn't end up looking poofy.

Elsam: Yeah? Tell me about it.

Korwa: But when I showed him the completed thing, he flat-out denied ever saying anything of the sort. Had the nerve to ask me to do it all over.

Korwa: He's a fashion broker I've done business with for a while. Bet he obviously got the order from his customer wrong.

Korwa: In other words, he tried to push his mistakes on me! Can you believe that!

Elsam enters a contemplative state as he is bombarded by Korwa's flurry of complaints.

Elsam: Yeah, I hear ya. Underhanded mucks like that oughta be taught a lesson!

Korwa: Now wouldn't that be nice... If only he weren't one of my biggest clients...

Korwa: But to take advantage of that and make me the scapegoat for his screwups is seriously messed up! What a scuzzy thing to do!

Elsam: Word up, dudette! If I were you, I'd consider severing!

Korwa: Sigh... I really just want to lash out at him sometimes... But since it's all work-related, I can't...

Elsam: Sounds like one naughty merchant. I won't stand for you being bullied, Korwie.

Korwa: Mm-hm... Thanks.

Elsam: You okay, Korwie?

Korwa: Well... Not really... I'm still bummed out.

Elsam: Wha!

Korwa: Sorry for bugging you with my personal problems! Let's talk about something more uplifting!

Lowain: Man, that's tough. When they need us to be there for them, but all we can do is shrug our shoulders, that stings the most.

Elsam: That straight-up obliterated my pride and self-esteem. I can still feel the trauma, but I just want to forget it ever happened...

Lowain and Tomoi remain puzzled at what Elsam could have possibly done different.

Lowain: I don't get it... What exactly did Sammy get wrong?

Tomoi: He was tryin' to liven up the convo, but Korwie can be real blunt sometimes...

Tyre: I see. She was no longer able to sustain her angry tirade.

Lowain: ...!
Yo, Ty, you got some insight on this?

Tyre: Korwa is a fashion design professional who takes on numerous jobs simultaneously. As such, and as unfortunate as it may be, I'm sure she's had her fair share of troubles.

Tyre: So it's only natural that she knows how she needs to respond during times of trouble.

Tyre: Elsam, your words only exacerbated the situation by reminding her that anger is never the answer.

Elsam: Then why'd she even bring it up to me in the first place? You know, I was tryin' my best to keep things fun...

Tyre: No, Elsam... You went along with her anger.

Tyre: But that was not the right call to make for such a situation.

Tyre: People's hearts are never as they seem—it is a fact of life. The way it turned out was an unfortunate accident.

Tyre: If I am to be honest, then I must say that you would have been more successful had you remained silent.

Tomoi: F'real? Dang, you're good at this stuff...

Elsam: But I totally get it now.

Tyre: We all have times when we want to spout our innermost feelings to someone, anyone—even the wall—to get our feelings in order.

All Three: We dig!

Their shouts of epiphany ring out across the skies of Port Breeze.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 2

Tomoi is next in line to ask for gentlemanly words of wisdom. He went up on deck one day to find Sutera training but had trouble moving their conversation past the typical greeting. Tyre offers wise counsel, leading to further questions from the bros.

Tomoi: Ty... Care to help another bro out?

It happened one day on the deck of the Grandcypher.

As soon as he showed his face, Sutera—who had her bow nocked toward the sky—retracted her weapon and politely bowed at Tomoi.

Sutera: Good day, Tomoi!

Tomoi: Sup, Sutera! Whatcha up to?

Sutera: Training! I was trying to keep my body and spirit uniform as I imagined my arrow piercing a target!

Tomoi: Whew, sounds tough.

Sutera: Not at all.

Tomoi: F'real?

Sutera: Yes!

Tomoi: Hey, no need to push yourself too hard. Why not take five?

Sutera: I can't afford to take my training lightly if I'm ever to reach my sister Metera's level.

Sutera: However, I also recognize the importance of proper rest when it is needed... Thank you for your consideration!

Tomoi: So, um... Catch ya later?

Sutera: Yes! Have a good day!

Tomoi: Forget about entertaining her—I couldn't even hold a conversation. I ran outta there in a heartbeat.

Lowain: Hoo boy... Sounds like you screwed it up big-time. What happened to the party peep in you, my dude?

Elsam: Nah, that kinda thing happens though. It goes all awkward when you and the other peep aren't, like, on the same wavelength.

Elsam: It was the same with me and Korwie... Yeah, I'm a total lamer for not knowing what she was lookin' for...

Tomoi: Feels like all I did was get in the way of her training. I wasn't even a decent distraction!

Tomoi: So how would you score us so far, Ty?

Tomoi: I wanna be on point with my mackin' skills when we're done here!

Tyre: I apologize if this sounds like I'm talking back... but I find you all to be so much more debonair than myself.

Tyre: I would never be able to look at a person and cater a meal to their specific preferences as the three of you do!

Lowain: Except cooking's totally our jam... You see, Ty, even the way you throw in compliments shows what a gent you are!

Lowain: Your skills in this department are totes on point. This is already a huge help.

Tyre: Y-y-you are too kind! A good knight must perfect not only his sword swings, but also his social gregariousness!

Tomoi: Let's put it this way: how would you talk to Sutera, Ty?

Tyre: Well... Seeing how studious she is...

Tyre: Rather than trying to put on a bold front, I might consider helping her relax with some lighthearted conversation.

Tyre: For instance we can discuss what she wants for dinner...

Tomoi: Relaxation! Aw man, I can't believe I didn't think of that one... But it makes total sense, dude...

Tomoi: There's a bajillion things we coulda talked about... Problem is I didn't even consider that she might want to chill out.

Tomoi: Sigh... The more you know...

Lowain: So this is what it means to be a master communicator—a true gentleman to the max...

Lowain: Now I see that a real party peep excels in keeping the thrill of a convo alive. Keep the wisdom flowin', Ty!

Tyre: I will continue to give it my best!

The bros continue with their next question for Tyre.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 3

Tyre manages to field the bros' relentless barrage of questions about good communication, and they once again shower him with extravagant praise.

Lowain: How 'bout Lambo?

Tyre: Be sure to have some water on hand. I suspect she keeps a healthy supply of wine around as a means of escape.

Tyre: Offering her peace of mind must come first. The amount of wine she imbibes would naturally lessen, thereby improving her condition. I think.

Elsam: How about 'Maya?

Tyre: Arulumaya is a sagacious one. Put on airs, and she will see right through you. No, that would not do.

Tyre: Be true to yourself, and she will be sincere in kind. And no matter what, do not dare tell any lies.

Tomoi: I bet Luna-rad's a tough one?

Tyre: Since she seems to possess a world of her own, it may be good to use that as a springboard into deeper discussion.

Tyre: If you're able to enlighten her with knowledge she does not yet possess, it would be of mutual benefit.

Eager to improve relationships with their fellow crew members, the Lowain bros perk up their ears.

Though it is no easy feat, Tyre manages to field their relentless barrage of questions.

All Three: M...

All Three: Mind blown!

Lowain: Dang, Ty! You rock harder than a golem!

Elsam: Word, I'm definitely gettin' my study on! I can already see the endless potential brimmin' inside me!

Tomoi: Your communication skills are off the charts! If we can master this, we'll be livin' the happy life ourselves!

Tyre: Er, well... It was nothing really!

Although Tyre was reluctant to come forth with his expertise at first, he is not at all displeased with the lavish praise that the Lowain bros are bombarding him with.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 4

Tyre basks in the bros' lavish commendations during their walk back to the Grandcypher, but he suddenly clams up when they spot Vira in front of a flower shop.

Still in the midst of their crash course, the bros continue heaping praise on Tyre.

Lowain: Ty, you are seriously the bestest trainer ever. I got what you were sayin' in a flash. I can feel myself becoming more righteous by the second.

Elsam: Heck yeah, this is gonna improve our lives by leaps and bounds!

Tyre: It is truly an honor to know that I've been of assistance!

Tomoi: ...

Lowain: Everything cool, Tommy?

Tomoi: L-look over there...

Tomoi points to a flower shop. Browsing the selection of flowers is someone they know all too well.

Vira: ...

Elsam: Ooh, it's Vira!

Lowain: Hm, don't see her dressed like that often. Looking real chic today...

Lowain: Ty, take a look.

Tyre: ...

Lowain: Ty, you okay? What's with the wide-eyed look?

Tyre: Ah! My apologies! I was taken by her beauty!

Tyre: Cough! If I remember correctly, she mentioned wanting to visit a friend's house today.

Elsam: Explains why she's all dressed up.

Lowain: C'mon, Ty... You're a master wordsmith, but I don't think I've ever seen you strike up a convo with Vira.

Tomoi: Like, dude... Wasn't Vira the whole reason you joined us on the G. Cyph to begin with?

Tyre: Y-yes...

Detecting a noticeable change in Tyre's behavior, the bros exchange puzzled glances.

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 1

As thanks for all the sound advice, the Lowain trio cooks up a plan for Tyre to get more comfortable speaking to Vira. He goes in with a Tsubasa-esque baller attitude which fails fast, leading to an early demise.

On their way back to the Grandcypher after a pleasant stroll across the town of Port Breeze, the Lowain quartet spot Vira at a flower shop.

Noticing the sudden change in Tyre's behavior, the bros have only one question.

Lowain: Ty, how is it you're able to chat it up with everyone except Vira?

Tyre: Aah, how she makes me weak in the knees! The most venerable V-V-Vira is deserving of utmost praise and worship!

Though they both attended the Albion Military Academy, they never had the chance to interact while there.

Nonetheless Tyre proved his profound veneration for Vira—then Lord Commander of Albion—by following her aboard the Grandcypher.

Tomoi: Come to think of it, Ty, you're always puttin' some distance between yourself and Vira aboard the G. Cyph.

Tyre: Yes... The mere sight of her radiant visage makes my mind go blank...

Lowain: Wouldn't it be wicked cool if you could talk to her like it was nothin'?

Tyre: V-V-Vira and myself? Conversing as if it is nothing?

Tyre: What brazen impudence! How could I even entertain the possibility! As if I'd ever have that divine right! Begone—vile, impure thoughts!

Tyre smacks himself hard in the face.

Elsam: Chillax, Ty! Look, we wanna thank you for layin' down those pearls of gentlemanly wisdom!

Tomoi: Word. I bet deep down, Ty's dyin' for a gab sesh with Vira. You can handle a simple "wassup," can't you?

Tyre: Well, you're not entirely wrong...

Lowain: Hahah! Gotcha there! Now we know how you really feel!

Elsam: Aight, leave this one to us! We'll turn you and Vira into chat buddies in no time!

Tyre: Would such a feat truly be possible?

Lowain: You'll see soon enough. All right, bros, get hyped! You too, Ty!

All Three: Wahey!

Tyre: W-wahey!

Tomoi: So what's the first step? It's not exactly like we're on her friends list.

Lowain: We'll just have to use every trick in the book we learned today. And that means...

Lowain: We're goin' baller!

Elsam: Baller? Not sure what you mean, but I guess it's better than—no, actually, it's not better than nothing...

Lowain: Look, it's pretty obvious that neither serious Ty nor us party bros are buddy-buddy with Vira.

Lowain: Only way to go about this is to take it in another direction. Gotta get into that baller mindset.

Tomoi: Meh, I dunno about this baller thing... But I guess we just gotta make like Tsubasa and gang?

Elsam: If you put it that way, dude, I guess it is better than nothing.

Lowain: First things first: the Tsubasa gang never shows fear. That's a lesson Ty's gonna need to learn!

Tomoi: Yeah, they're pretty casual no matter who they're talkin' to. And they can bust out a hello to anyone.

Tomoi: Yeah, Vira doesn't seem too fond of the bashful type. You could try starting off with a casual greeting.

Tyre: Indeed, you speak the truth! More importantly, being unable to exchange courtesies is simply rude...

Lowain: So go on and show her a bit of your wild side, fam!

Tyre: Affirmative!

Flower Seller: A gift, I presume?

Vira: Yes. I was on my way back and saw your shop... I thought a bouquet would make a nice present for a special someone, but there are so many to choose from.

Flower Seller: Besides color and shape, smell is another fine way to pick one out. Try sniffing them.

Vira: You're right... How nice it would be for Katalina to indulge in the pleasant scent of my gift.

As Vira goes about sniffing the various types of flowers, someone calls out from behind.

Tyre: How's it hangin', Vira?

Vira: ...?
Tyre?

Tyre: Whatcha up to?

Vira: I found some lovely flowers and thought they'd make a fine gift for Katalina. How about yourself?

Tyre: Heheh... I was out with the Tsubasa boys ridin' on our beasts. Man, the wind feels so good on a day like this.

Vira: Wha...

Tyre: Some tough guys showed up, tellin' us to step off. Turned into a battle royale real fast.

Vira: Tyre, has something befallen you? You don't appear to be your usual self.

Tyre: You know, Vira... I was just thinking you don't need a single rose to adorn yourself with.

Vira: Huh? They're not for me; they're for Katalina...

Tyre: 'Cuz to me, you already shine brighter than any flower out there.

Vira: ...

Flower Seller: Why, hello there. Looking for anything in particular? Just say the word.

Tyre: Hey, shut your trap! Can't ya see I'm havin' a chat with this lady?

The Lowain bros watch from the shadows, careful to keep some distance.

Lowain: Pull up, Ty! The delinquent twist is fine, but don't go pickin' fights, man!

Tyre: So, Vira... You're really gonna have to take responsibility for setting my heart ablaze.

Tyre: That's why you're gonna come with—

Vira: Tyre...

Tyre: Ngh!

Vira: Where are your manners? For a graduate of the Albion Military Academy, this is unacceptable...

Vira: I refuse to let this atrocious behavior continue. Say your prayers, Tyre.

Tyre: V-V-Vi... Vira?

Tyre: Eek!

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 2

The baller simulation proves that a different strategy is needed. The bros' next plan is to make Tyre appear attractive by presenting a gap in his personality. They ruffle up his hair and clothing before sending him in, but this, too, leads to an early demise.

All Three: Whew...

Lowain: Hoo boy... Vira was super pissed...

Elsam: Dudes... Have we gone too far?

Tomoi: Nah, it's all cool in the world of fantasy!

Elsam: 'Cept it was so real we almost got sucked right in.

Tyre: Forgive me, my bros! Although it was a most splendid idea...

Tyre: I... I...

Tyre: I'd rather die a thousand deaths than approach Vira in such a discourteous manner!

Lowain: Nah, it was totally our bad for lettin' it go that far. We shoulda known better.

Tyre: Why did I have to be stabbed though? I do not think her to be that type of person...

Lowain: Word... Probably some bias goin' on there.

Tomoi: So now that we know there's no way in fantasy land she'd go for a baller dude, whadda we do next? We still got somethin' to go on?

Lowain: You bet we do. We tap into the personality gap.

Tyre: What exactly do you mean?

Lowain: It sorta came up during our chat with Luna-rad. You know how you might show your vulnerabilities when you're down? Play up the allure of ennui?

Tomoi: Considering you're usually pretty stiff, Ty, if you show that you've got your faults just like anyone else, you're sure to shine.

Tyre: So I have to show vulnerability... I can't imagine how though... What exactly do I do?

Elsam: Leave that to us! We'll get your game on for sure this time!

Flower Seller: A gift, I presume?

Vira: Yes. I was on my way back and saw your shop... I thought a bouquet would make a nice present for a special someone, but there are so many to choose from.

Tyre: Ah... Greetings, Vira.

Vira: T-Tyre? You don't look yourself today...

Tyre: Oh? Is something off about me? This is my usual day-off self though.

Vira: ...

Vira: Chortle... I was only surprised because this is the first time I've seen this side of you.

Vira: I would advise prudence however. Us being on vacation is no excuse to go about your day in a slovenly manner.

Tyre: Aah...

Vira: Hrm... Then again it's true that I never paid much attention to you even as your superior in Albion.

Vira: To make up for it, once we're back on the Grandcypher, I'd be glad to teach you a few things about living an orderly life. Teehee.

The Lowain bros watch from the shadows, careful to keep some distance.

All Three: Whoo!

Lowain: Dude might just pull it off! Tugging on her nurturing side did the trick!

Tomoi: F'real. Makes total sense when you consider how she dotes on Kat all the time!

Elsam: I'd say Ty's chances just went through the roof!

Anticipation builds as Vira and Tyre begin walking quietly side by side.

It is then that a threat breaks out.

Old Shopkeep: I-it's a monster! We have a monster in town!

Vira: Hm? It's a type that doesn't usually encroach on skydweller settlements...

Old Shopkeep: Run! Run for your lives, everyone!

A giant monster begins wreaking havoc on the town. Its terrified residents flee in panic.

Vira: We have to stop it. Come on, Tyre!

Tyre: ...

Vira: Tyre? What are you doing! Prepare yourself for battle!

Port Breeze Local: Help! Someone save me!

Vira: Rgh! I'm on my way!

Vira bravely leaps into action, ready to face off against the monster.

Tyre: Ah... Nice work...

Vira: Tyre... Why didn't you do anything?

Tyre: Well, you see.. I was feeling a bit lazy...

Vira: ...

Tyre: ...!

Vira: Lazy, you say...

Vira: Well then, you can laze about in peace all you want after I get through with you.

Tyre: Eek!

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 3

After a third simulation, the bros find that they are getting closer to the right approach. They cheer Tyre on, giving him the courage to go in for a field test.

All Three: Gasp!

Having returned from their simulation, beads of sweat are pouring down their faces.

Tyre: My fellow bros... I am so sorry that had to happen again. However...

Tyre: As both a knight and a skyfarer, I take up my sword to protect those who cannot fight for themselves.

Tyre: Not even in my wildest delusions would I loaf about while Vira is fending off a monster!

Lowain: Good point... Yeah, we kinda noticed halfway through that we went too far again...

Elsam: Flipping that lazy switch doesn't instantly shift gears, y'know...

Tomoi: Gotta admit it's a real shame though. Ty actually got a laugh out of Vira.

Tomoi: If only you'da given that monster the smackdown, we'd be seein' what a charming ennuimeister can do!

Tyre: I see!

Lowain: Basically the switch from ennui to gallantry should score him major points with Vira. Let's have another go at it!

Vira: Hm? It's a type that doesn't usually encroach on skydweller settlements...

Old Shopkeep: Run! Run for your lives, everyone!

A giant monster begins wreaking havoc on the town. Its terrified residents flee in panic.

Vira: We have to stop it. Come on, Tyre!

Tyre: ...

Vira: Tyre! Can you hear me?

Tyre: Yes, Vira! Let us lead it into a more open space, for there are far too many people here!

Vira: Agreed!

Tyre: You foul beast! Come! Catch me if you can!

Vira: (Tyre? He's whisked away his apathetic self so quickly!)

Tyre: Hraaargh!

A fully revitalized Tyre fights by Vira's side to incapacitate the monster.

Tyre: Vira, please tell me you're not hurt.

Vira: I'm fine. As are you, it would seem. More importantly...

Vira: I was worried when I saw you lazing about earlier, but you've proven that you can hold it together when it counts.

Tyre: I only did what comes naturally to any skyfarer.

Tyre: In fact I am deeply sorry that you had to get involved at all.

Vira: You said it yourself. Standing up to threats is only natural for a skyfarer.

Tyre: Just as it is only natural for a skyfarer—nay, a man—to want to protect a lady he fancies.

Vira: T-to have such thoughts in the heat of battle is not very proper...

Tyre: Ah! My apologies!

With peace in the town restored, Tyre and Vira walk shoulder to shoulder on their way back to the Grandcypher.

Feeling more satisfaction than ever with this latest simulation, Lowain snaps his fingers in triumphant jubilation.

Lowain: This is it!

Lowain: No way can we whip up a monster outta nowhere, but that jump from ennui to total gent totally does the trick!

Tomoi: I guess this is what bein' a real man's all about!

All Three: Wahey!

Tyre: Hngh...

Lowain: Oh snap, I think Ty's havin' an out-of-body experience.

Tyre: Bwaaagh!

Tyre: T-to protect a lady I fancy...
V-Vi! What a brazen mouth I have...

Tyre: My dearest Vira! I have only the utmost love and respect for you!

Tyre: Gasp... Did I say... love?

Tyre: You impious fool! Abominable filth! Graaaaaah!

Elsam: Dude! Ty, chill out! That was all for fun! We wouldn't expect you to actually go that far!

Tomoi: Looks like we learned a lesson on how to bring a relationship to the next stage.

Lowain: Ooh yeah. But Ty, you're gonna have to talk to Vira, like, for real-real if you wanna move things forward.

Lowain: We set out a textbook case for you, but even dropouts like us know that stuff never goes by the book. Still doesn't hurt to set your standards high though.

Tomoi: Sides, it ain't like you gotta fancy her. Could keep it to respect, friendship, a duel to the death... Actually, scratch that last one...

Tyre: Is that so...

Tyre: Thank you for the sound advice! It's true that I've been lacking in many ways up until this point!

Tyre: I believe this has been a wonderful opportunity to learn the ins and outs of what it takes to properly greet Vira!

Tyre: Using this latest simulation as a basis, I shall say hello to Vira, and perhaps one day even engage in idle banter with her!

Tyre: Oops! That is quite a lofty goal I have set! Nevertheless!

Elsam: Dude, we've done enough fantasizing for one day! About time we went for a field test!

Tyre: A f-f-field test?

Lowain: Take it slow, fam. Keep it up over time, and you'll settle into it. Just start with a wassup.

Tyre: Perhaps you are right... Very well!

Tyre: I, Tyre of Albion, swear upon my honor and integrity to exchange pleasantries with Vira!

They turn their sights to the flower shop and find that Vira is still picking out the perfect gift.

As they had done in their simulation, the bros ruffle up Tyre's hair before he makes his move.

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 4

The conversation between Vira and Tyre proceeds smoothly. When a monster shows up and they are able to fend off the threat together, the distance between them closes. In his sheer joy, Tyre blurts out vernacular that may as well have come from the mouths of the bros. Vira, hater of all things playboy, transforms into Psycho Vira MK II and goes on the offensive.

Tyre: Here I go!

Lowain: Ty goin' in for the killer greeting! Jumpstart her nurturing instincts! Tickle 'em if you have to!

Elsam: You can do it, Ty! We'll be cheering you on!

Tomoi: Dudes, we're toast if Vira spots us. We'd better find a bush to hide in pronto!

If things go according to their simulation, despite being unkempt, Tyre shouldn't give off too much of a negative impression.

Having had the bros turn his hair into a ruffled mess beforehand, Tyre is ready to call out to Vira.

Elsam: Whew... I'm gettin' the willies already...

Tomoi: So if Ty messes this up, maybe he can, like, blame it on a bad hair day?

Lowain: Nah, I don't see that happening. I bet Ty's gonna be so smooth that she'll be swoonin'.

Elsam: Yeah, what Lowain said. No way is Vira gonna just flip out outta the blue.

Tomoi: It's no longer in our hands. All we can do is sit tight.

The trio keeps watch as Tyre tries to open his mouth.

Tyre: V-V-Vi!

All Three: (Tongue-tied already?)

Elsam: C'mon, Ty...

Tyre: V-V-Vi!

Vira: Weren't you a student at Albion?

Tyre: ...!

Vira: Is something the matter? Your clothes are all disheveled.

Tyre: Erm, well!

Vira: Haha, a vacation is no excuse to not take care of yourself. Here, stand still.

Vira straightens out his untidy hair and rumpled clothing.

All Three: Duuuude!

Tomoi: Holy... Whack a moley...

Elsam: Dang, Tommy! You need to chill! But wait, is this even for real?

Lowain: Sure is... I wasn't sure how it'd turn out, but I guess reality's just funkier than fantasy.

Tyre: How embarrassing on my part... I am so sorry to trouble you... Aah, thank you so much! Bless y—

Vira: Careless dress code is a sign of careless character. I advise you to exercise caution.

Tyre: O-of course! My apologies!

Vira: As long as you understand.

Tyre and Vira then walk shoulder to shoulder on their way back to the Grandcypher.

Vira: So what did you do today?

Tyre: Er, well! I-I went on a walk...

Vira: And that took up your entire day?

Tyre: Ahem! Not quite! I had lunch at a cafe, and... and then cookies, and...

Vira: Calm down and speak clearly. Any trained knight should be able to relay a report efficiently.

Tyre: My sincerest apologies! I met up with Tsubasa at a cafe for lunch, then I made my way over to a coffeehouse to have a look at Lunalu's latest work...

Tyre: And just a bit earlier, I visited a cookie shop with Jeanne—she wanted to purchase some of them for (Captain)!

Taking the bros' advice in earnest, Tyre is careful not to make any mention of them.

Vira: I see. It sounds like you really enjoyed the day off.

Lowain: Whoa, whoa, whoa... This ain't how we pictured it, but... you know...

Elsam: Pretty rad the way it's going!

All Three: Radibadical!

Lowain: Bwahahaha! Wasn't easy gettin' here, but this is total wowsers!

Tomoi: Ty's still a bit stiff, but I'd say he pulled off what he set out to do.

Elsam: Aww yeah, just look at how long the conversation's been goin'! Crazy sense of accomplishment I'm feelin'!

Lowain: Word. Just goes to show Ty was simply too full of butterflies the whole time.

Something most unexpected presents itself as the bros chat in the shadows.

Fleeing Resident: Eep! A m-monster!

All Three: ...!

Monster: Groaaar!

Fleeing Resident: Help!

Elsam: What the... This f'real?

Tomoi: Dude, that popped up outta nowhere! How'd a monster get into town!

Lowain: Ain't no time for chatter, bros!

Vira: C'mon, Tyre!

Tyre: Yes! We must take action! Let us quell the disturbance and protect the people of this town!

Tyre: Die, monster!

Monster: Brgwaaah!

Tyre: Waaaargh!

Tyre's furious display of mettle puts the rampaging monster in its place rather quickly.

Tyre: Huff... Huff...

Monster: Graahh...

Elsam: Dang, Ty... I knew Vira was totes strong, but...

Tomoi: That was tight... When Ty's got his game on, he's a beast...

Tyre: Vira, please tell me you're not hurt.

Vira: I'm fine. You appear to be injured however.

Tyre: Tis but a scratch. I was a second too slow in dodging its attack... A shame I'll have to bear.

Vira: I must say... You fought marvelously against such a potent monster.

Vira: It is thanks to your efforts that I am unharmed and damage to the town is minimal.

Vira: I was worried when I saw you lazing about earlier, but you've proven that you can hold it together when it counts.

Tyre: I only did what comes naturally to any skyfarer.

Tyre: In fact I am deeply sorry that you had to get involved at all.

Vira: You said it yourself. Standing up to threats is only natural for a skyfarer.

Tyre: Just as...

Vira: Just as?

Tyre: Just as it is only natural for me to safeguard someone I hold in such high esteem.

Vira: ...

Tyre: I regret not doing a better job of it...

All Three: (He said it!)

Lowain: Dude, Ty! You totally pulled through!

Lowain: I know it's watered down from our fantasy, but maybe that's the right way to go about it!

Lowain: So Ty just, like, gave it to Vira straight-up about how he's got mad respect for her!

Elsam: Aww man... My heart's aflutter just watchin'...

Tomoi: Ty... Rockin' it like a champ...

Although Tyre is honest with his feelings for Vira, her reaction is somewhat unexpected.

Vira: Sigh...

Vira: What a thing to say right after battling a monster.

Vira: Tending to your wound should come first. They might have something we can use in that house. Wait here.

Tyre: Ah... O-okay...

Vira: Thank you for the medicine and bandages. This will be of great help.

Fleeing Resident: No, I'm the one who should be saying thank you. Who'd have thought such a hideous monster would show up...

Fleeing Resident: If you could please relay our thanks to your friend as well. Truly the entire town was moved by his bravery!

Vira: ...

Vira: I will. Gladly.

Vira provides Tyre with first aid, and they continue on the road back to the Grandcypher.

Vira: You're still unsteady. I'll lend you a shoulder. Here, put your weight on me.

Tyre: B-but that would be...

Vira: I don't mind. Consider it an order from a commanding officer.

Tyre: V-very well!

Vira leans in to the injured Tyre. From behind, they almost look like a couple.

Elsam: Ty... my dude! Sniff... You don't know how happy this makes me...

Tomoi: Sure went way beyond a greeting...

Lowain: Cut it out with the waterworks, man... We ain't in the clear yet.

Tomoi: Wait, how d'ya think Ty's takin' it? I know he's actin' all calm, but I bet his heart's racin' inside!

Lowain: Bwahahaha! Dude, any guy would be doin' cartwheels at a time like this!

Vira: Tyre, are you still in pain?

Tyre: N-not at all! I-I-I'm perfectly fine!

Vira: Tyre, as your senior in the military academy, I look highly upon the fighting prowess you demonstrated earlier.

Vira: Is there anything at all I can do for you? If it's something within my means, I'll gladly oblige.

Tyre: O-o-oh my... You are too kind!

Vira: There is no need to hesitate. It's about time I made up for never having done anything for you as your senior.

Tyre: Erm! Well! In that case...

Tyre: If there are any texts you recommend I peruse in order to enhance my skyfaring mastery, please do let me know!

Vira: Is that what you'd like? Very well then. We can go to my favorite bookstore together next time.

Tyre: Y-you mean like a...

All Three: A date!

Lowain: Duuude! Ty actually scored a date with Vira!

Elsam: I'm so hyped; my palms won't stop sweating!

Tomoi: And off they go... Ty, what a boss...

Tyre: I-it would be the greatest honor to have you accompany me to a bookstore! Ah, I lack the proper words to show my appreciation!

Tyre: (My fellow bros! Thank you so much! Your sublime teachings served me well!)

Vira: Oh, it's just a small favor really. When would be a good time for you?

Tyre: Our next day off would be the perfect time, dudette!

Vira: Huh?

Vira takes on a completely different tone, her voice cold as ice.

Vira: I've definitely heard that revolting vernacular before... Many times, in fact...

Tyre: Ah, er, V-Vira?

Lowain: Uh-oh! Did he just mess things up? Man, Vira's like a bloodhound!

Vira: ...!

Vira: I thought I sensed something afoot... You seemed much too different from your usual self.

Vira: I should've known you three were behind it all!

All Three: ...!

Vira: How dare you stalk me from the shadows...

Smoke begins to rise from Vira's body, giving form to—

???: Squishy-clink!

All Three: Holy Luminiera!

Lowain: That supposed to be her Luminiera form?

Korwa: It's the MK II model!

All Three: Korwie!

Korwa: So it's finally come into its own...

Lowain: Wait up, Korwie! Whaddya mean by MK II?

Korwa: It's a machine that's further evolved to fulfill its purpose of wiping the skies of all playboys... Otherwise known as...

Korwa: Adaptable Anti-Playboy Awsum Sauce Combat Gear Mecha Psycho Vira MK II!

All Three: Adaptable Anti-Playboy Awsum Sauce Combat Gear Mecha Psycho Vira MK II?

Elsam: Like, dudes, why's the name so long!

Korwa: As people can only hold so much hate against playboys, the overflowing resentment was too great to be contained and gave birth to this terrifying weapon...

Psycho Vira MK II: Searching... for... targets...

Tomoi: Is it Vira who's controllin' it? If she is, we might be able to get a handle on this.

Korwa: It's too late... It'd be more accurate to say that the overwhelming animosity has overtaken her consciousness!

Korwa: The gears of war won't stop until it's vanquished all playboys in existence!

Tyre: V-Vira! Please get a hold of yourself!

Tyre: Viraaaaa!

Korwa: She can't hear you... The real Vira's asleep right now...

Elsam: Ty! I know it can't be fun havin' your crush turn into that thing, but you've gotta keep it cool!

Psycho Vira MK II: Squishy-clink!

Psycho Vira MK II: Three playboys confirmed... Proceeding to eliminate targets...

Tomoi: Oh snap! It's headed this way!

Lowain: Looks like this might be do-or-die time, bros...

Tyre: Agreed, my fellow bros! It would pain my heart beyond description to leave Vira in such a state!

Lowain: You said it, Ty. We'll just have to show her that even playboys have a place in this world!

Lowain: 'Sides, you had your chance to shine, Ty! It's about time the rest of us dudebros got a chance in the spotlight!

Elsam: Bwahaha! Totally! Like, we'll have to prove that playboys aren't really all that bad!

Tomoi: Word up. We gotta take this chance for all of us to reach an understanding.

Lowain: Now that we've mastered the way of the gentleman, we ain't just ordinary party peeps anymore! Nah, we're party gents!

Lowain: And it's time to prove that party gents can totally chat it up like a boss!

Tyre: When this battle is done with, I swear to accompany Vira to the bookstore!

Lowain: Aight! Ready, brofams?

Lowain: Let's get turnt!

Elsam & Tomoi: Hot diggity!

All Three: w00000t!

Back to top

A Walk on the Wild Side - Ending

No matter how many simulations the bros run, things always go askew with Vira in the end. Just then, Vira in reality calls out to them. A chill runs down their spines, but she is surprisingly cordial. Lowain realizes he was too hung up on the idea of communication skills. The next day, the Grandcypher takes off, closing the curtain on this delightful vacation.

Psycho Vira MK II: Clickety-clank...

Lowain: We totally stomped it!

Psycho Vira MK II: Damage exceeding 70 percent... Resuming operation...

Lowain: Okay, maybe not... Dang, whadda we do now...

Elsam: We've still got this in the bag, Lowain! Dig deep into everything that went down today!

Lowain: Dude! Stop talking in riddles!

Tomoi: We can still morph.

Lowain: ...!

Lowain: Bwahaha! Man, you're right—always save the best for last!

Lowain: Aight, guys! Let's serve it up with a nice hot cup of 0wnage!

Lowain: Say it with me!

Elsam: H!

Tomoi: P!

Tyre & Korwa: A!

All Three: By our powers combined, we are the ultimate party gents!

Psycho Vira MK II: Target closing in...

Psycho Vira MK II: Amassing remaining energy in power reactor... Initiating self-destruct sequence.

Lowain: Wait... Give us a sec—

Psycho Vira MK II: Squishy-clink!

All Three: Yeaaaaarh!

Flower Seller: Looking for anything in particular?

Vira: I was on my way back and noticed your shop... I thought a bouquet would make a nice present for a special someone...

Her thoughts full of Katalina, Vira browses the selection of flowers.

The Lowain quartet, watching from the shadows in the distance, hang their heads in disappointment.

Lowain: No matter which direction our fantasy goes, Vira always hands us our butts in the end...

Elsam: Not to mention we keep gettin' put on a scale with Kat... And there's no winning that...

Elsam: Gotta say Ty was hella rad back there though.

Tomoi: But even that's a fantasy. The real Ty might have a chance if he could actually get some words out...

Tyre: I-I'm afraid I lack the gumption to engage in such a bold exchange with Vira...

Lowain: I guess we're in over our heads...

Vira: What are you boys doing over there?

Lowain: Yeeow!

Vira notices the bros and approaches with a bouquet in her hands.

Elsam: S-sup...

Tomoi: How's it goin'?

Tyre: V-V-Vi!

Paying no heed to their state of panic, she joins them for the walk back to the Grandcypher.

Lowain: Had a chill day, Vira?

Vira: An acquaintance from my time as lord commander lives in this town. I paid him a visit.

Vira: How about you boys? You spent the day together?

Lowain: Erm... Yeah, we kinda went on a sashay through town...

Vira: Oh? And that took an entire day?

Tomoi: Well, we stopped for lunch, and then for coffee, and bumped into a few of the G. Cyph crew along the way...

Elsam: Yep. So far so chill...

Elsam: Aw crud! We totally forgot...

Lowain: Forgot what, Sammy?

Elsam: We missed our chance to ask Luna-rad for her thoughts on Albion Fantasy High!

Vira: Hm? What's this about Albion?

Elsam: So we've got this thing about the G. Cyph dudes and dudettes—

Tomoi: Hold it right there, Sammy! Don't say another word!

Lowain: I like my head where it is, dude!

Vira: ...?
I'm not sure I understand, but causing too much of a racket will inconvenience the town, you know.

All Three: ...

Lowain: (Why's Vira in such a good mood?)

Elsam: (Dude, I've been tryin' to crack that puzzle myself.)

Tomoi: (Whatever it is, sure feels nice...)

Lowain: 'Preciate it, Vira... You just made me realize I've been gettin' it wrong all along...

Vira: ...?
What do you mean?

Lowain: It's probably better not to get into details, but I wanted to say thanks...

Lowain: Let's just say you showed us the value of friendship.

Lowain: (Sammy, Tommy, we were way too caught up with rinky-dinky communication skills...)

Elsam: (Word. Ultimately you just gotta drop the pretenses and speak your mind!)

Tomoi: (Cuz in the end...)

All Three: (Everydude on the G. Cyph is a BFF!)

All Three: Wahey!

Vira: Hm? What is this all of a sudden?

Lowain was so absorbed with thoughts of Katalina that he became swept up in the discussion about communication skills.

He had forgotten that the lady he fancies so much is a comrade he will continue to travel with in their long, ongoing journey.

And it was none other than Vira who reminded him of the fact.

However...

Tyre: ...

Lowain: Ah!

Tyre: (So I see this is where our earlier simulations come in handy!)

Tyre: (Time to ruffle up that hair...)

Elsam: (Dude, like that's gonna do anything!)

Tomoi: (This ain't the time for that!)

Tyre: (I understand what I must do! What matters is standing out! I shall move into position now!)

Lowain: (Aw crap... Ty doesn't get it at all!)

The bros are quick to hold Tyre back from jumping into the fray.

Lowain: Cool your jets, Ty!

Tyre: B-but...

Vira: Tyre? What's gotten into you...

Tyre: Er, this, ahem...

Tyre: I-I was wondering if you could tell me of any texts I can use to enhance my skyfaring mastery...

Tyre recalls his line from the earlier fantasy.

Vira: Oh... Well, in that case why don't you visit my favorite bookstore together with—

Tyre: ...!

All Three: (Whoo! It's a date!)

Vira: Your friends? I'll tell you where it is. You can try going there on the next day off.

All Three: (Or not...)

Tyre: ...!

Tyre: Th-thank you! I shall visit the bookstore with my fellow bros next time!

Vira: There's no need to strain yourself with every answer.

Tyre: Ah! My apologies!

Lowain: (Heheh. Turns out Ty can hold up a convo with Vira better than he thought.)

They continue engaging in lighthearted banter on the way back to the Grandcypher.

The short-lived vacation at last comes to a close.

On the following day...

Lowain: ...

Elsam: Yo! Lowain! G. Cyph's about to take off!

Lowain: Gotcha.

Tomoi: Dude, whatcha spacin' out for?

Lowain: No one's spacin' out, you dweeb. Lotsa stuff happened yesterday. I was just reflectin'.

Elsam: Yeah, I hear ya... All we did was take a walk, but a lot sure went down.

Tomoi: Word. It never gets boring with you bros.

Lowain: Likewise. Whew, can't wait to come back and hang again!

From the deck of the Grandcypher, the bros look upon Port Breeze with a lingering farewell as it fades into the distance.

Their arduous journey is in full gear again. But surely there will be time for more vacationing somewhere down the line.

For now all they can do is fantasize about what a blissful time it will be.

The End

Back to top

Characters

A Walk on the Wild Side/Story

A Walk on the Wild Side - Opening

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 1: Chewing the Fat - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 2: Baller Times - Episode 4: Scene 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 3: Together We Slack - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 4: Awkwaaard - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 5: What a Gent - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 1

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 2

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 3

A Walk on the Wild Side - Chapter 6: Building That Relationship - Episode 4

A Walk on the Wild Side - Ending

Characters

Navigation menu

Search