Brooding Beach Bum
Lich arrives in Auguste with (Captain) and the crew but quickly withdraws, grumbling about the relentlessly cheerful vacationers. After a string of mishaps, a stray beach ball sends her to the ground with a hit to the face. When she looks up, she's confronted with a radiant, smiling double of herself.
A brilliant blue sky, dotted with soft, drifting clouds. Waves break against the shore in a gentle rhythm.
Lich: Grooooan... Why can't everything just blow up already?
In a quiet, shadowed corner of the beach, a heavy presence lingers—sighing and wishing for it all to go away.
The primal beast Lich, wrapped in a shroud of darkness, fixes her unhappy gaze on the summer sky.
She had come to Auguste with the Grandcypher crew for their annual escape.
But after quietly breaking away from the crew, she sits alone, muttering curses to herself.
Lich: Stupid sun ruining everything. I even did my rain ritual too.
Lich: So damn hot... Why would anyone subject themselves to this?
Lich: Sunlight stabbing me like a thousand cursed daggers... Sand so hot you can't even walk on it...
Lich: ...And surrounded by extros with stewed brains, frolicking around pretending to have fun.
Lich: Nope, nope, nope—I'm out! Five more seconds here and they're gonna have to scrape me off the ground.
Lich: It's too hot for Lich not to ditch! Heh... Hee hee!
Lich: Heh?
Small Colossal Hermit: ...
Just as Lich is about to lose it, a small colossal hermit skitters into view.
Lich: Yo... So you're cooped up alone in your own world too, huh?
Lich: Finally, another intro comrade. I thought the rest of us'd already be burned to dust by now.
Lich: Don't worry, little guy. I'm not gonna bother you. We're birds of a feather, you feel me?
Small Colossal Hermit: ...
Lich: Hehe... That's a fine shell you've got there. Nothing beats shutting out the rest of the—
Dazzling Girl: Hehehe! Nice catch!
Lich: Huh?
Flashy Boy: Ahaha! But we both know you're the real catch here!
Dazzling Girl: Oh, you rascal! Here comes the serve!
Lich: Tch, beach volleyball. Even here, the extros have their claws in everything...
Lich: ...
Lich: Makes you wonder, huh? In some alternate world, maybe I'm out there with them, having fun...
Small Colossal Hermit: ...?
Lich: Heh, yeah right. Intros like us? We're not the players—we're the ball at best.
Lich: Right, lil' guy? Hehe. Hehehe...
Friendly Colossal Hermit: ...
Colossal Hermits: ...!
Lich: Huh?
Right then, another colossal hermit appears before Lich. The two crustaceans lock eyes, clashing their pincers in a passionate showdown.
Lich: Y-y-y-you... You tr...tr-traitor!
Lich: Unbelievable!
Lich: There's always one! Acting like “Woe is me!” but the second the party starts you're a total extro like the rest of them!
Lich: Do you get your kicks pretending not to fit in, you poser?
Lich: Swaggering around, flaunting your shell like you're all about living that hermit life...
Lich: Real intros don't go around showing off how introverted they are, you know!
Lich: The moment you start parading your intro status, you're out, buddy! Nobody's buying it!
Vyrn: Uh... Are you beefing with a crab right now?
Lich: Gah! I've been found!
Colossal Hermits: ...
Lich: We aren't finished here, recreant! Face judgment before the Great Court of True Hermits!
Lyria: Um... Would you like to play with us, Lichi?
Lich: Huh?
Vyrn: See that red umbrella? We've set up camp over there for today!
(Captain) extends a hand in invitation.
Lich: Don't see it. Don't wanna play. Don't wanna go.
Vyrn: Sheesh... A simple no would've sufficed.
Lich: Listen up, Vyrnybean. To me, paradise looks nothing like a sunny beach—the opposite, in fact.
Lich: I belong in a nice, magically-chilled room that's a little cramped—but comfy—all to myself.
Vyrn: Then why'd you bother changing into your swimsuit and coming to the beach?
Lich: That's, uh... Peer pressure, you know? Like, society and stuff... Yeah.
Vyrn: It's not like we forced you... In fact, most of the crew didn't even come out today.
Lich: Uhh... I...
Lyria: Well, since you're here, why not have some fun with everyone?
Lich: I can't swim. And if we played volleyball, I'd only be useful as the ball.
Lyria: The... ball? Um... Well, if you're not good at sports, how about playing in the sand?
Lich: Heh... You sure about that? What if I just built a giant sand poo right in the middle of the beach?
Vyrn: Aren't you, like, 500 years old or something?
Lich: Whatever. Me and the summer beach just aren't compatible—on both a physical and spiritual level.
Lich: And you'd all have more fun in your extro paradise without me bringing down the mood anyway.
Lyria: No, that's not true! We'd love for you to join, Lichi—
Lich: It's fine. Really. Lichi's gonna return to her lair now.
Lich: Even the colossal hermits betrayed their name, so it's my duty as the last real hermit.
Lich: So yeah. I'll, uh, see you tonight.
Lich turns away from the crew, ready to make her way back to the hotel.
Lich: Hpfffghah!
Lyria: Are you okay, Lichi?
Vyrn: A beach ball? Must've been from that couple over there.
Lich: Oh, now you've done it! I'm about to %@&# somebody up right now!
Lyria: W-wait, I'm sure they didn't mean it!
Flashy Boy: Oh man, so sorry! Are you all right, miss?
Lich: Ah... Fine...
Vyrn: What happened to all that fury!
Lich: Sh-shut up. Those extros blinded me with their wholesomeness...
Lich?: Oh, don't even worry! I'm super tough. That's my best feature!
Lich: Huh?
Lich looks up to see a familiar person stepping into her view.
It's someone she's never seen from behind before—herself.
Dazzling Girl: A-are you sure? I mean, as long as you're okay...
Flashy Boy: Wait, then who's that curled up over there?
Lich?: Don't mind her! Say, do you two have room for one more?
Together: Huh?
Lich?: I've always wanted to give volleyball a try! Hope you don't mind a total newbie!
Dazzling Girl: Don't worry. We're not exactly pros, either.
Flashy Boy: Yeah, we'd love for you to join! But are you really okay to play?
Lich?: Hehe... Teach me how to hit it like that so I can get you back!
Dazzling Girl: Ooh, I like you! I'll be sure to set you up for a spike then!
Flashy Boy: Plotting your revenge already, huh? Girls are terrifying sometimes!
Happy Beachgoers: Ahahaha!
Lyria: Um... It looks like the other Lichi joined them.
Lich: ...
Vyrn: Who was that? What the heck's happening?
Lich: ...
Lyria: Lichi?
Lich: Blergharngh!
Lyria: Are you okay!
Somehow, a second Lich had materialized on the beach.
As if in protest, the original Lich convulses, doubling over and retching at the sight.
Sandy Seaside Solution
Unable to bear watching Sunny—a carefree, sociable version of herself—enjoying beach games with strangers, Lich retreats to her room at the hotel. There, Rosetta helps her open up about her repressed wish to share in the rest of the crew's fun.
Just as Lich announced her dramatic exit from vacation life and headed for her room, a stray volleyball smacked her right in the face.
Shortly after, another Lich somehow appeared on the beach, joining the beachgoing pair in their game of volleyball.
Normie Lich: Aaand there!
Dazzling Girl: Hehe! Look good, Lichi!
Vyrn: What the... She's totally blending in with them.
Lich: You're telling me. Who does that creature even think she is?
Rosetta: She really is quite... "Sunny," isn't she?
Lich: Oh, Rose!
Rosetta: It seems I was right to be worried about you. I witnessed the entire thing on my way here.
Rosetta: Boneby was born the last time you experienced an emotionally traumatic event, right?
Rosetta: I believe a similar phenomenon has occurred here—but this time, triggered by a rather dramatic volleyball to the face.
Lyria: But how did she become... Sunny?
Rosetta: As with "Boneby," giving her a name serves clarity, wouldn't you say?
Rosetta: And she is quite radiant. Sunny feels quite fitting for her.
Lich: Unbelievable... How did that bucket of sunshine even come out of someone like me?
Rosetta: Hmm... Perhaps...
Sunny: Nailed it!
Flashy Boy: Nice!
Lich: Waaaugh! D-don't go high-fiving boys with my looks, you imposter!
Vyrn: What should we do? I mean, she hasn't done anything wrong, so we can't exactly clobber her.
Lich: Just watch me. I'm takin' her out right here, right now!
Rosetta: Wait! I don't think that's a—
Lich: Yo, Sunny! That's enough... Uh...
Sunny: Oh, I'm so thirsty...
Flashy Boy: You want a sip of mine?
Sunny: Hehe, thankies!
Lich: Bwaaaugh!
Lich: An i-indirect... k-ki... Indirectly directly to m-m-my...
Lich: Bleraugh!
Lyria: Lichi!
Fresh specks of blood fleck the pristine sand as Lich's vision begins to fade.
Lich: ...
Later, in a dimly-lit hotel room, Lich is sprawled alone atop the bed, blankly surveying the walls.
Lich: Finally... Sweet, chilly solitude. Now this is paradise...
Lich: For intros like me, the sun is just another form of mild torture.
Lich: The beach is enemy extro territory. Real intros hunker down in their shells.
Lyria: Um... Would you like to play with us, Lichi?
Vyrn: See that red umbrella? We've set up camp over there for today!
Lich: ...Whatever. (Captain) and the others'll probably have more fun without me anyway.
Rosetta: How are you holding up, Lichi? I brought you some tea—extra sugar, just as you like it.
Lich: Thanks, Rose. A catnap and some sugar water does wonders.
Lich: The rest of the crew doing okay?
Rosetta: They were really worried about you. For now, they're out on the beach keeping an eye on Sunny.
Lich: Hmm...
Lich: Still, I can't believe I fainted from the sight of a sparkly version of myself. Hacked up blood, too. What a joke.
Lich: How could a sundweller like that come from me? It's like an out-of-body nightmare.
Lich: I'd sooner believe in demonic possession before something like this happening.
Rosetta: ...
Rosetta: May I?
Lich: Ah. Uh, sure.
Rosetta sits gracefully on the edge of the bed, a teacup poised delicately in hand.
Rosetta: How is daily life aboard the Grandcypher? Found your rhythm yet?
Lich: The day-to-day chores and stuff? Easy. Faces and names are another story though.
Rosetta: And yet, you're able to mingle with the others on Halloween and other events, right?
Lich: "Mingling's" a strong word. I mostly lurk, tease, or just tag along with whatever's happening.
Rosetta: But you didn't hate it, did you?
Lich: I mean, no. It's not like I'm allergic to everyone here.
Lich: I don't barricade myself out of spite. It's just who I am. You get it, right?
Rosetta: Yes, I know. Which is why I always rather thought it was a shame.
Rosetta: This habit of categorizing people as "extros" and "intros" and shutting out the world.
Lich: Hey, I can't stand what I can't stand. Simple as that.
Rosetta: Just like you can't stand to drink tea that isn't drowning in sugar?
Lich: Exactly. If it's not drowning in sugar, what's the point?
The two meet eyes and share a smile.
Rosetta: A lady's heart is a mysterious thing. Bitter, sharp, and sweet... Much like a cup of tea.
Rosetta: The side of you that resents so-called "extros," and the side that secretly wants to join them—both can exist, you know.
Lich: ...!
Rosetta: Did you know? Our dear (Captain)'s also quite the extro.
Lich: Oh, I know. Extro through and through.
Rosetta: And everyone else, in their own way, made sure to put in their share of sugar for you.
Lich: "Sugar"?
Rosetta: A big, shady umbrella to keep you in the shade, boxes of ice to keep you cool...
Rosetta: Pails and shovels so you could dig in the sand without being bothered.
Lich: Yeah, they were ready to leave me on sandcastle duty the whole time.
Rosetta: Hehe, it's true though, right?
Rosetta: All they really wanted was to spend time with you, Lichi.
Rosetta: And I think it's all right to answer that feeling every now and then.
Lich: Guess so... I've got, like, 500 years on 'em, after all.
Rosetta: Indeed... We're the big sisters here.
Lich: Yeah... I guess we are. Welp, either way—
Lich stands up, fixing her gaze on the spacious beach outside the window.
Lich: It's time I do something about Miss Sunshine out there.
Sandy Seaside Solution: Scene 2
When Lich returns to the beach, she is shocked to find the crew happily playing with Sunny. During their confrontation, Sunny points out that Lich was the one who chose not to join. Eventually, Lich allows herself to accept her own desires, and Sunny merges back into her once more.
After refueling on tea and shade, Lich returns to the beach with Rosetta.
Lich: What the...
Lich wasn't prepared for the sight before her.
Lyria: Here comes the ball!
Sunny: I've got it!
Flashy Boy: Nice one, Lichi!
Vyrn: Go for it, (Captain)!
Sunny: Wow, that was so cool, (Captain)!
Lich: Wha... Why?
Vyrn: Oh, hey! Back on your feet, huh? We were gettin' worried about ya!
Lyria: Sorry, we were just watching from afar at first, but Sunny invited us over, and...
Lich: And so you all had yourselves a fun little extro volleyball game, huh?
Vyrn: Uh, well... Sorry... You wanna join?
Lich: ...
Lich: ...!
Rosetta: Lichi?
Lich: Hehe... You've all really set me off this time...
Lich: The hell, (Captain)! So you didn't want to hang out with me after all?
As Lich begins to approach the others, Sunny steps in.
Sunny: What are you talking about? You're the one who didn't even want to join.
Sunny: That's why I showed up in the first place.
Lich: ...!
You... That's...
Sunny: Here!
Lich: Guh!
Sunny's perfect serve sends the ball smackdab in the middle of Lich's face.
Lich: Oh, now you've done it!
Rosetta: Lichi, your nose is bleeding...
Lich: No big deal. She's gonna have to do better than that!
Lich wipes the blood from her face and picks up the ball.
Lich: Yeah. I can't stand these extro games. And honestly, I wish the beach would just blow up.
Lich: But... Even still... Is it wrong to want to hang out with someone every now and then?
Sunny: But you're always saying how you hate—
Lich: Even if you're not in the mood for curry, if someone's eating it in front of your face, you'd want a bite, wouldn't you!
Lich: I say that I hate stuff, but you know I don't mean it completely 100 percent! Aren't extros supposed to be good at picking up nuance?
Sunny: Are you seriously trying to blame this on us?
Lich: No... It's my fault, obviously.
Lich: Intros can pick up on nuance too. I noticed what (Captain) and the others were doing for me... and pretended not to.
Lich: So now... I'm gonna end this myself!
Vyrn: She's setting up for a spike!
Lyria: Come on, Lichi! You can do it!
Lich: Wraaaugh!
With a mighty yell, Lich swings her hand toward the ball at full force.
Lich: Buh?
The yell is followed by an embarrassed whimper as she completely misses the ball.
Ghost: ...!
At that moment, a ghost appears to intercept the ball, striking it in Lich's place.
Sunny: Eep!
Flashy Boy: Wh-what the... The ball just flew on its own!
Sunny: Not bad... I didn't think you'd bring spirits in for backup.
Lich: Like I'd ever win at anything sports-related. What can I say? I know my limits.
Sunny: Then why not just be honest with yourself?
Lich: You know I can't do that.
Sunny: Hehe, true enough. Then let's have some fun together.
Sunny dissipates into particles of light that are absorbed into Lich.
Rosetta: She's returned now... I suppose?
Lich: Good riddance... And it looks like my reputation is safe again for now.
Vyrn and Lyria: ...
Lich: Wh-what are you two smiling about?
- So you did want to play with us?
Choose: So you did want to play with us?Lich: Huh?
Lyria: You even said it yourself! You don't actually hate things when you say you do.
Lich: What are you speaking of? I don't remember saying anything like that. Guess the ball must've hit me harder than I thought.
Vyrn: Hoo, boy... There she goes again.
Lyria: Come on, Lichi! Let's play together!
Lich: ...
Lich: Beach volleyball ain't happening, but I guess I could build some sandcastles—in the shade, of course.
Vyrn: That's what I'm talkin' about! We've got a bunch of toys for that under the umbrella over there!
(Captain) smiles and opens an umbrella to shade Lich.
Lich: This is too much, you guys, seriously...
Vyrn: So this must be somethin' else you say you hate, but actually like!
Lich: Y-you little... Watch your tone, lizard!
Lyria: Hehe... You're cute when you're flustered, Lichi!
After thanking the couple for playing volleyball with them, Lich and the others make their way toward the beach umbrella.
Vyrn: Oh, no... She's trying to build another giant sand poo again! Do something, (Captain)!
Lich: Hehe... Heehee!
The battle between light and dark raged on beneath her umbrella until the sun began to dip below the horizon.
Sandy Seaside Solution: Scene 3
After a day of seaside fun with the others, Lich thanks Rosetta for her support in facing her true desires. Upon encountering the colossal hermit crab couple again, she treats them to a show—ready at last to accept the connections and joy she once kept at a distance.
Later that night, Lich finds herself among the others, hands aglow with sparklers.
Lich: These things are way too bright... Urgh, I can still see them when I close my eyes.
Lich: What the—
Lyria: Oh, look! Everyone over there's setting off fireworks too!
Lich: Sheesh... That's extros for ya.
Vyrn: Says the one sittin' in front of a bucket of used sparklers.
Lich: N-no, you see... I, uh, just wanted to get it over with... Yeah...
Lyria: Hehe, I don't think you've tried this type yet, right?
Lich: Ooh, you're right. 'Preciate it, Lyrichi.
- I'm glad we could spend time together.
- Thanks for today.
Choose: I'm glad we could spend time together.Lich: Heh... Is that so?
Lich: Hehe... You really enjoyed my company that much, huh?
Lich: A midsummer adventure with a thorny older lady's got you all hot and bothered... Or has the heat gotten to you?
Choose: Thanks for today.Lich: No, thank you! For whisking me to a whole new world today!
Lich: ...
Lich: Hehe... How's that for a sunny smile from your resident prickly old hag?
Lich: Did your heart skip a beat? Bet you weren't ready for that, were you?
Continue 1Lich: So what now? Summer nights don't last forever, you know.
Vyrn: Ain't it obvious?
Lyria: We're gonna party until the sun comes up!
Lich: Huh?
With a warm smile, (Captain) takes Lich by the hand.
Vyrn: Let's set off every firework we can find before Lich changes her mind!
Lich: Wait, I... Uh...
Lyria: There's plenty more over there! Come on, let's go!
Lich: W-wait! Let go of meeee!
Lich: Phew... Finally managed to slip away.
Rosetta: It looks like you can't help but join in when (Captain)'s involved. Right, Lichi?
Lich: The captain's a little too dazzling sometimes... That level of brilliance oughta come in smaller doses.
Lich watches the lively group from a safe and comfortable distance as an awkward smile tugs at her lips.
Lich: Thanks, Rose. For everything today.
Rosetta: Think nothing of it. I had fun building sandcastles too.
Lich: At least Sunny didn't stick around like a certain skeleton... I'm getting chills just thinking about it.
Rosetta: Perhaps spirits like Boneby don't need to be purged, as much as they need something else.
Lich: Something else, huh? I can't come up with anything for the death of me...
Rosetta: Hehe... You did good today.
Rosetta: Now then. Shall we head back?
Lich: I'm gonna need another minute. Go on ahead.
As Rosetta makes her way back, Lich exhales a sigh of relief, crouching down to give her legs a break.
Lich: ...Oh.
Colossal Hermits: ...
Lich: You guys having a little date watching our sparklers?
Lich: Geez... You extros just never stop, do you?
Lyria: Lichi! Over here, come on!
Lich: But I guess that includes me today.
Colossal Hermits: ...?
Lich: Okay, let's do this!
Lich lights up a pair of sparklers, gripping them in both hands.
Lich: Hehe... Behold, hermit lovebirds!
Lich: Just for tonight, you're gonna get front row seats to the full fireworks experience!
Lich: Ouch! Hot, hot, hot! The extros have betrayed me again!
Vyrn: Hey, it's dangerous to spin them around like that! You're not a little kid, you know!
Lich: Tch. What's the point of being a skyfarer if I can't even spin some sparklers...
Colossal Hermits: ...!
Through summer shenanigans and supernatural phenomena, Lich has caught a glimpse of life as a so-called detestable "extro."
Perhaps things will go back to normal tomorrow. But for today, Lich lets herself be at ease under the gentle warmth of a late summer sky.
