The Lowain Bros/Lore

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Strategy

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Special Cutscenes

Spoiler Alert! These tabs contain special event cutscene scripts. View these tabs at your own discretion.

Happy Birthday Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Lowain: Happy birthday, (Captain)! We're gonna have to party reeeally hard to celebrate! And you know what? I even got you a present! Yay! OK, time to open it! Three! Two! One! All Three: Waheey!
2	✔	Tomoi: Boom chicka boom! Lowain: Hey, happy birthday, Captain! Tomoi: Chika chika boom boom! Elsam: Yeah, congrats, man! Tomoi: Whoa, hold up now, guys. Didn't we say we'd be singing acapella for the captain's birthday? Lowain—vocals, Sammy—bass, and me—beatbox. That's what we agreed on. No backing out now, guys. Lowain: My bad, man. Elsam: Ahaha! Chill, man, I'm ready whenever you guys are. Lowain: Then we're doing it now! Three! Two! One! Tomoi: Boom chicka boom! Lowain: So we were thinking of what to get you this year, and... Tomoi: Dude! You're supposed to sing! Elsam: Bwahaha! Loosen up, bro. Lowain: Ahahah. My bad, my bad. Let's do it for real this time. All Three: Celebratin' (the captain's) birthday (oh man)... We could do this all day (and forever)! Happy birthday... Tooo yoouuu!
3	✔	Lowain: Yep, yep, yep! It's that day again! Tomoi: The best kinda day. Elsam: We can never get enough of these. Lowain: Are we ready... Elsam: To congratulate... Tomoi: (Captain) on a... Lowain: Happy... All Three: Birthday! ... Lowain: Duuudes! I thought we agreed on "happy macho"? Tomoi: Bwahahaha! My bad, bro. Forgot to tell you about the last-minute change in plans. Elsam: Brou-hahaha! My bad too, bro. Kinda figured "macho" wouldn't fit the occasion, ya know? Lowain: What the fudge! You still holdin' a grudge for last year? Tomoi: Ain't all that mad really. Elsam: How 'bout we... All Three: Let bygones be bygones. Lowain: Aight! Let's roll out the red carpet and get this party started! All Three: Jeah!
4	✔	Lowain: Aight, (Captain)'s out on a mission. Time for a totally rad strat meet to figure out how to celebrate the captain's b-day! The Trio: Whoo! Lowain: You dudes come up with anything? Elsam: I thought we could maybe go with some kinda surprise? Tomoi: Sounds pretty rad. Give us the deets. Lowain: Not the booby trap kinda surprise, but somethin' that'll make the captain feel all warm and fuzzy. Elsam: That's the only way to do it for an anniversary-type of event. Tomoi: I've got a few issues of Guide to Love and other trusty tomes that could help us kick off Operation HBD! Lowain: Let's see... "The surprise starts with mistaking your partner's panties for a handkerchief and using it to blow your nose." The heck? Elsam: "The opportunity to present a fresh pair of charming undergarments will then present itself..." Tomoi: Dude, I don't understand a word of that. Stuff is, like, on a whole nother level. Lowain: Yeah, we shouldn't be joking about (Captain)'s undies... That's outta bounds, man. Choose: What's everyone talking about? The Trio: Gaaah! Lowain: (Captain)! We thought you were out on a mission! Tomoi: You finished early? Well, that's our captain! Choose: Did someone say "undies"? Elsam: Ah, that's for your birth— Lowain: Dude! That's supposed to be a surprise! Tomoi: Nah, we might as well just blow the lid on it. The Trio: ... Lowain: Aight, here's the deal! (Captain)! We totally wish you an HBD! Elsam & Tomoi: Jeeeaah! Lowain: (Captain), happy... The Trio: Birthday! w00t!
5	✔	Elsam: Uh, hey, (Captain)? Happy b-day. We kinda made you sort of a present... type... thing. Lowain: Yo. Sammy. You sure about this? I get that we all worked hard on it, but... Tomoi: Yeah, we sure sweat over it... But I feel like we missed the mark? It's not party-ready. Lowain: Sorry, (Captain). If you feel like it's kinda... y'know, then we'll, like, handle it. Elsam: Here... We drew a portrait of you, (Captain)! Tomoi: We might not be the skies' greatest artists, but... we just felt like... Elsam: Lowain's grams loved hers so much, we wanted to hook you up too, (Captain)! Lowain: Not like you're a grandma or anything like that, (Captain). But it's that level of mad respect. Tomoi: You're about ten feet tall in our hearts, captain. So we wanted to draw you like the hero you are. The warm feelings of friendship usually expressed through their cooking shine through the amateurish lines of the bros' drawing. (Captain) is a little bashful, but accepts their heartfelt gift with a smile as bright as theirs.

Happy New Year Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Haaappy New Year, bro! I'm ready to party like there's no tomorrow! Huh? You wanna know my New Year's resolution? To score a date with Kat one of these days!
2	✔	Lowain: Yo, Sammy! Can you bring me the chopped veggies? Elsam: I'm on it, dude. Lowain: Tommy, get me some dried spaghetti! Tomoi: You need me to drain the pasta? I'm on it. Lowain: Ah, (Captain)! Happy New Year, man! Elsam and Tomoi: Happy New Year. Lowain: Man, you seriously helped us big time last year! I'm so glad to be on the crew, Captain! Elsam and tomoi: Me too! Lowain: Ah, my bad. We shouldn't be greeting you while cooking. Elsam: I don't know about this New Year's party, man. Everyone's ordering so much that I don't know if we have enough food to keep up. Tomoi: It sure is a fun challenge though, even if we're just helping. Lowain: Anyway, did you guys see Kat's... Elsam and Tomoi: Ki-mo-no? Lowain: Oh yeah! I only caught a glimpse, but she looked so good in it! Elsam and Tomoi: Totally, man! Lowain: All right, bros! Let's get this next dish out, then we'll go take a peek at Kat's kimono! All Three: Waheey!
3	✔	Lowain: Sup, (Captain)! We're chillin' out to celebrate the new year! Tomoi: This past year's seriously kicked butt, and we'll just have to keep it up for the next one. Elsam and Tomoi: Whoa, (Captain)! No offense, but you're lookin' a bit emo! Lowain: Our captain's just beat from welcoming in the new year. C'mon, bros, let's do what we do best! Ready, set... Dude! Elsam and Tomoi: Dude! All Three: Duuuuude! Lowain: Three, two, one... All Three: Waheeey!
4	✔	Lowain & Tomoi: Happy New Year! Lowain: Sammy's just about done flying his kite. Elsam's Voice: Wahey! Tomoi: I think we're breakin' new ground with this free-form style of kite-flyin'. Lowain: We figured doin' it on the deck of the G. Cyph can't be all that safe, so we made sure to tack on a lifeline. Tomoi: See, Lowain went zoom and ran right off the deck. Good thing we were prepared. Lowain: I thought I was a goner for sure, but man, what a thrill... Elsam: Huff... Huff... Whew... That was the bomb! Lowain: Climbing up the kite via the lifeline is hella tough, I gotta say. Tomoi: You gotta try it out, (Captain)—kite-flying like you've never experienced it! Whaddya say? Elsam: Pant... Wheeze... Seriously though? Do we even need a kite for this? Lowain & Tomoi: Good point.
5	✔	Lowain Bros: Happy New Year! Lowain: Man, the last year's been seriously crazy. Especially with... what's her name? Frygal? Tomoi: She had this shining aura... She was real passionate about premiums or something. Elsam: Right, and she chewed us out for working too hard. Fri D? Fry-fry? Dayday? Tomoi: For real though, anytime I hear the words "oh my Bahamut" near the beach, I need a change of shorts. Lowain: And how does she make those killer fried prawns? They stay crispy no matter how long you store 'em! You think she's got some kinda alien tech? Elsam: You could ask her to teach you the secret recipe... But she'll prolly just shove a buncha self-help books atcha. Lowain: Yeah, and then I'll be in for a premium lecture. Oh my Bahamut, for serious. Tomoi: Still... Gettin' read the riot act by Dayday ain't that bad... Those glasses, tho. Lowain & Elsam: Mood.

Valentine's Day Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Happy Valentine's! Aww yeah, I am totally pumped and ready to fill the Grandcypher with all this chocolate I got from the ladies!
2	✔	Lowain: Ah, (Captain), I... I've finally gotten my hands on Katalina's you-know-what! Elsam: No way, you've gotta be kidding! Tomoi: Katalina gave you some of her handmade chocolate! Mm, you lucky dog! Lowain: Just one bite, and then I'm gonna make another move on her. Well, here goes nothing... Guuaah! Elsam and Tomoi: Lowaaaiin!
3	✔	Lowain: Nom, nom... Dudes, I gotta be real. Kat totally blew my mind and then some when she gave us these chocolates. Elsam: Munch... Y'know, I think she's gotten better at it. Tomoi: Yeah, they're actually edible for once. Chomp... Lowain: Don't forget it's also possible we've just gotten used to the taste. Tomoi: Dude, I never thought of that. It's like how after you catch a cold, you can never catch the same type again. Elsam: Aw, shoot. Now it feels like I just cut a few years off my life. Lowain: Nah, we gotta take it like men. Now we're man enough to— Ngh! Elsam: What the? Lowairrrgh! Lo... wa... Tomoi: Oh, snap. We might've taken more than the recommended dosage...
4	✔	Lowain: ... Ah, (Captain). We got some from Kat this year too. Elsam: We've decided life's too short to be wimping out every time we see her chocolates... Tomoi: Figured it was do-or-die time again this year, but Lowain made me see the big picture. Lowain: I mean, as a cook, I know all too well what it means to put your heart and soul into good grub. Her chocolates are handmade after all. And she makes 'em every year. Elsam: We sorta came to expect it, but, man, does it put a smile on our faces... Tomoi: Point is, (Captain)... The Trio: It's chow time...
5	✔	Lowain: Oh, hey (Captain). Lookin' at my fifth year of chocolates from Kat. Like, I'm mega-grateful she hooks me up every year, you know? Tomoi: Bwahaha. Can't believe you say that every year. Elsam: Yeah, but like. Bonds unbroken down the years? That's a blessing, bro. Gotta appreciate that. Lowain & Tomoi: Word. Lowain: So yeah. Just in case things go south... Take this notebook, (Captain). Got a month's worth of recipes all laid out in there for ya. Elsam: We couldn't really do the pre-pro for everything that far in advance, but we did what we could. Tomoi: Every year, scarfin' down that chocolate's like takin' your life in your hands... But that's love, y'know? Lowain: Aight, (Captain). See ya on the other side. Lowain Bros: Later...

White Day Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Lowain: Hey, Captain! We're gonna take the day off to get a present for Kat. All Three: Way! Lowain: We've been pulling our weight on the Grandcypher, all in preparation for today! It's gonna be a beautiful White Day with Kat! All Three: Waheey!
2	✔	Lowain: This here's what we picked out for (Captain)... Gotta get something for Kat too, of course, but that could take a while, so (Captain) first... Hey, isn't today the day for... Well, you know... You do know what I'm talking about, right? That totally epic... Elsam and Tomoi: Epic... Lowain: Return gift! All Three: Think (Captain)'ll accept? Wahey! Lowain: I'm gonna hand over this letter too. I sure hope she looks inside... Elsam: (Captain)'ll love it! I stake my reputation on it! Tomoi: In Lowain we trust! Lowain: And off I go! All Three: Wahey!
3	✔	Lowain: Oof, (Captain)! (Wait up, (Captain).) Tomoi: We White Dayed! (We ran out to town to buy you a gift for White Day.) Elsam: Ss yours! (It's all yours.) Lowain: Huff... Talk about a close call. The date almost changed on us. Elsam: Whew, I'm beat from all that running. (Captain)'s all confused from what we were trying to say. Tomoi: Our bad, Captain. We musta tried too hard picking out the perfect store for gift shopping. Lowain: Hm? What's that, (Captain)? You think we would've done better picking out a shop beforehand? All Three: True dat. True, true, true... Lowain: Come to think of it, kitchen duty wasn't on us yesterday. Tomoi: Shoulda taken the chance to check out the area instead of goin' on what felt like a wild goose chase... All Three: Joke's on us...
4	✔	The Trio: ... Agh! Lowain: Whoa! All it took was one bite outta Kat's Valentine's chocolates for an out-of-body experience! Elsam: Feels like our bodies actually did move though. What, where are we? Tomoi: What's that, (Captain)? Today's event? It's Valentine's, of course. Lowain: Today's White Day? Wait a sec... You sayin' we were out of it that entire time? Elsam: Nuh-uh-uh, you're kiddin', right? The G. Cyph kitchen must've been a mess without us! Tomoi: Wha? We were workin' the whole time, just more quietly? Seriously? Lowain: Dude, I don't even know where to get started... Elsam: How 'bout we whip up something for White Day? Tomoi: Which reminds me... We gotta give some to (Captain) too. Lowain: ... Elsam: ... Tomoi: ... The infectiously dazzling smiles of the brosome trio puts (Captain) in a good mood.
5	✔	Lowain: Oh, (Captain)! I've been looking everywhere for you! Elsam: Thank goodness! Now we can give you our thank-you gifts! Tomoi: We made these ourselves to express our deepest gratitude. Lowain: We've learned so much from you and Kat... Elsam: About friendship, love, and the ties that bind... Tomoi: And about just how precious life is... Lowain: We'll fight by your side till the bitter end, (Captain)! In that battlefield called the kitchen! (Captain) watches in silent stupefaction as the three cooks bow their heads and take their leave. The captain makes a firm decision not to get involved. Surely this baffling behavior is the result of something they ate. It's the least disturbing explanation (Captain) can come up with.
Gift		Light Cookies

Trick or Treat Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Trick or treat! Huh? You'll strike me down if I so much as try to play a trick on you? Understood! So sorry!
2	✔	Lowain: Sorry, Captain, but do you mind if we spend the day away from the ship? Elsam: Yeah. The crew's pranking powers are, like, crazy strong. Lowain: Seriously, bro. They've been merciless recently. I got scared so bad this one time that I thought I was gonna die. Tomoi: Even Lily was telling me to prepare myself. I was so ready to write my will. Lowain and Elsam: True, true. Lowain: These ain't your average pranks either. They're straight up deadly. Huh? You're letting us leave the ship? Sweet! You're our savior! Tomoi: We gotta get outta here while we still can! Thanks, (Captain)! Lowain: All right, let's jet, dudes! All Three: Aaaah! Lowain: Dude... the captain totally owns at pulling pranks... Elsam and Tomoi: Word.
3	✔	Lowain: Kitchen duty is da bomb, amirite? Elsam: Totally, Lowain. No one comes in here tryna prank us. Tomoi: Plus, we get to treat everyone. Don't get much better than this. All Three: Totes genius, man. Lowain: Aight! You bros up for makin' the treats to end all other treats? All Three: Jeah! Whoooaa! Elsam: Dude, did that potato just explode? Tomoi: All right now, who set up the potato—or whatever that thing was? Lowain: Check out this note. "Forgive my trick, Lowain." That supposed to be a butt chin symbol on the end? All Three: It's Ty... Lowain: Bwahaha! Bro's one-upped us for once!
4	✔	Lowain: So what's the action plan for Halloween? Elsam: This is our fourth time. Maybe we oughta be the ones playing a trick this year. Tomoi: High five to that. I've already got somethin' up my sleeve... Lowain: Spill it, bro. You gonna, like, sprinkle some impossible-grade spices on someone's grub? ... Nah, I wouldn't be able to stomach seein' people in pain while munchin' on my chow. Elsam: Word. Tomoi: How 'bout we let off some firecrackers? Sparklers would be kinda tight too. Elsam: Nah, I dunno know about that. Wouldn't want any kiddies in the crew to get caught up in the stuff... Lowain: Totes. So our fate—more like our calling—is decided then? Elsam: We let the kids prank us... Tomoi: While we dish out candy. Lowain: Trick... Elsam: And... Tomoi: Treat... Lowain: All righty, let's do this, bros! Elsam: Aight!
5	✔	Lowain Bros: Gyaaahhh! (Captain) hears screaming and hurries to find the source. Lowain: Oh, hey, (Captain). We're practicin' our screams for when we get tricked. Elsam: The kids on the crew are gettin' pretty wily. Tomoi: Yeah. So we don't wanna freak out if someone runs up sayin' they blew off their digits in a gunpowder accident, right? Lowain: It's gettin' pretty tough to tell a prank from a crisis at a glance, and still give 'em a good reaction. That's why we're practicing to scream just loud enough. Aight. Next up, let's try mixin' in a little "wahey" with our "gyaah." Ready? One, two... Lowain Bros: Gwaaaheeeyyy!

Happy Holidays Cutscenes
#	Link	Text
1	✔	Happy holidays! This season's gonna be the best ever! Be merry!
2	✔	Lowain: Smarts! All Three: w00t! w00t! Elsam: Moolah! All Three: w00t! w00t! Tomoi: Generosity! All Three: w00t! w00t! Lowain: Well, if it ain't the captain! Season's greetings! Elsam and Tomoi: Happy holidays! Lowain: We were talking about the presents we want from Santa! I could never ask for Kat though. If she really came to me all gift-wrapped, it could only mean Santa brainwashed her! And that's not what I want! Wait up, bros! I just realized something! Elsam and Tomoi: Tell us about it, man! Lowain: Listen good... Santa... and Kat... All Three: Kat dressed up as Santa? Elsam: My mind's exploding just thinking about it! Tomoi: Oh man, can you picture that? Lowain: Aah! I think my heart just skipped a beat! All Three: Tubular, dude!
3	✔	Lowain: You bros got any ideas? Elsam: It ain't ever an easy choice... Tomoi: Might as well just stick with the usual chicken. Lowain: Goin' traditional's always nutritional, but with our crew gettin' so big, I dunno anymore, man... Elsam: Word up. Everyone's got different tastes. Tomoi: We could always go eeny, meeny, miny, moe, you know. Lowain: Ah, season's greetings, (Captain). We were sweatin' hardcore over what to serve tonight. Tomoi: This is, like, boss-level stuff we're talkin' here. Elsam: Well, if we're just goin' up against a few imperial imp-eciles, us three with Kat wouldn't even break a sweat. Lowain: But when the ship hits the fan, Kat ain't against getting a helping hand from Lancey. Elsam: Synergy's everything in battle, if you know I'm talkin' about. Lowain: But, dude, we're still kinda screwed with this dinner menu... How 'bout we kick up the vibes for now? Might spark a few ideas. A one, and a two... All Three: Wahey! Lowain: Whoooaa! I just got, like, a major flash of inspiration, dudes!
4	✔	Elsam & Tomoi: Season's greets, (Captain)! Elsam: Whoops, that was you, Lowain? We're preppin' tonight's holiday grub. Tomoi: We're tryna reach new heights, so it might take a while. Lowain: Dum-de-do... Blech! Whew, talk about a close one... Almost infected the grub with my barf... Ah, happy holidays, (Captain). We were tryna make eats the Baotorda way. That Draph hunk's really got his own style down. Elsam: He's just burstin' with Lumiel vibes. Tomoi: We figured Lowain could be more Lumiel-like by incorporatin' humming into his routine. Lowain: Tonight's, like, the Holy Eve after all. We figured a change of pace was in order. Elsam: So I thought long and hard about what makes the dude's cookin' so special, and then I figured it out! The secret ingredient's gotta be his hummin'! Tomoi: I can't get enough of how his low-frequency humming's totally in sync with the simmer of his frying pan. Lowain: The Lumiel way ain't so much about vibes; it's more about goin' with the flow. Like, if you put too much heart into it, the flavor ends up full of heart too. Tomoi: Anyways, we figured humming would be a good place to start... Lowain: La-di-da— Ngh... Elsam: Looks like you're not cut out for that bass sound, Lowain... Lowain: Shoot... I might have to get in some voice training before next year rolls around...
5	✔	Lowain Bros: ...! (Captain) enters the galley to find the Lowain bros gathered around a cutting board. Elsam: Oh hey, (Captain)! Kappa holidays! Tomoi: Sorry, fam. We got all caught up watchin' Lowain slice that salmun. Lowain: The voice training I started wasn't really workin' out, so I ditched it and decided to try makin' some kappa-style sushi this year. But just tryin' to cut the fish right was gnarly enough, so instead of makin' it all neat, we're doin' deconstructed sushi. Elsam: ... Tomoi: I dunno though, dude... Deconstructed? I just don't like the sound of it. Elsam: Yeah... I mean, deconstructed's got con right in the name. Think we oughta change it? Lowain: ... Tomoi: Well, maybe it's kappa. Not everybody'd hear it that way, right? Lowain: Mmm... Just to be safe, maybe we call it... Unlaced sushi? Unleashed? Inside out? Hmm... The bros furrow their brows, grappling with this thorny problem even as they continue to slice.

Fate Episodes

Spoiler Alert! These tabs contain full Fate Episode cutscene scripts with major spoilers about the character. View these tabs at your own discretion.

Playboy No More

One morning Elsam unveils an unusual hairdo and uses funky lingo. Lowain and Tomoi surmise that because a shopkeep refused to sell them premium cooking ingredients based on their looks alone, Elsam is trying to change up his image.

---

It all begins when the crew visits a certain remote town.

Elsam: Why, hello there, (Captain). I hope you are having a most splendid day.

Something seems conspicuously off.

Not sure how to respond, (Captain) turns to Lowain and Tomoi for assistance.

Lowain & Tomoi: ...

The two bros, having seemingly given up all hope, remain speechless.

Elsam: Oh my... I imagined you to be in an upbeat mood, but your vibes would indicate otherwise.

1. What is the world coming to?

Choose: What is the world coming to?

Lowain: Wish I could tell you, Cap'n, but we're just as clueless.

Lowain: From the moment we saw him this morning, dude was talkin' weird and had this funny hairdo—all stiff and parted on one side.

Tomoi: Word. Sammy's never been the type to use hair gel that stiff...

Tomoi: Wait, haven't we seen peeps suddenly look and act all wack before? Oh snap...

Tomoi: Sammy, don't tell me you've been gettin' yucky with yucky dark essence!

Lowain: Shoot, that darn Pommern must be lookin' for a pummelin'!

Elsam: Hahaha. Surely you jest. I assure you I have not ever frolicked with dark essence. I merely wanted to keep up with appearances.

Elsam: Which will be of paramount importance, given that I've decided to learn firsthand the ways of a CEO.

The bizarre manner of speech being spouted from Elsam's tongue continues to bewilder, with one word in particular garnering unparalleled attention.

Tomoi: Bro, he just said CEO...

Lowain: (Captain), I think we've just found a lead on Sammy's bizarro metamorphosis.

Lowain: So, like, when we went looking for blewfish fillet at the grocer's yesterday...

Elsam: So what's that blewfish thing Lowain's anglin' for?

Tomoi: Dude, it's, like, totally cray-cray macho.

Lowain: It's a fish, bro—a fish! They're poisonous and mad strong, which makes 'em ultra rare. Their taste is totally the stuff of legend.

Lowain: They're so mythical that even Kat wants a bite—which is why I've made it my life's mission to find one. And lo and behold, we've got a shop right in this town that stocks 'em.

Elsam: Dude, if that ain't love, then I dunno what is. You know, I might've read somethin' like this in a picture book once.

The bros are shooting the breeze as usual in their jaunt across town.

Lowain: Yep, that's it right there. Place is fancy as heck, and they've got good eats up the wazoo.

They step inside the grocery store.

The Trio: ...

The gorgeous interior serves as a wake-up call of sorts, reminding the trio to behave.

Lowain: Um, 'scuse me. I heard you guys sell blewfish fillet here?

Shopkeep: ...

The cranky shopkeep carefully appraises the bros.

Shopkeep: Who sent you, I do ask? And who is it that will be using the fine ingredients from my shop?

Lowain: Erm, well... We're the cooks of our crew.

Shopkeep: Humph... Sorry, don't think I can sell you folks my goods, I do say.

Tomoi: I-if it's rupies you want, we've got 'em in spades.

Shopkeep: No, that's not the issue. Everything you see here is a name-brand item. I only sell to reputable chefs, I do say.

Elsam: Wait up, man. Lowain definitely knows what he's doin' in the kitchen. More so than your average cook.

Shopkeep: Humph... His meager skills might pass for a municipal dining hall, I do say, but I'm talking imperial palaces and five-star restaurants.

Elsam: Why, you rotten—

Lowain: (Hold it, Sammy! We can't be goin' into Megadude Battle Mode here!)

Elsam: (You just gonna let him diss you like that?)

The trio clench their jaws at the caustic tone of the shopkeep, but this is no time to be making a scene.

As Lowain tries to pacify Elsam, another customer enters.

Vira: What are you boys doing here?

Tomoi: Vira!

Lowain: We've run into a bit of trouble tryna stock up food for the G. Cyph's kitchen.

Elsam: This nasty dude right here says we're not good enough for his grub!

Vira: Oh? And what might the reason for that be?

Shopkeep: Sigh... To summarize, we take brand image very seriously here, I do say.

Shopkeep: That's why we sell only to the most prominent and skilled chefs. Otherwise we'd damage the reputation of our existing customers.

Vira: I see.

Vira: Then as the former Lord Commander of Albion, I assure you of their culinary prowess. Will that be sufficient?

Shopkeep: My goodness! I had no idea, I do say! Please accept my humblest apologies!

The Trio: ...

Though they've successfully acquired the ingredients they sought, the bros remain somewhat disgruntled with the shopkeep.

Lowain: Seriously, you saved our butts big-time, Vira.

Vira: No need to thank me. I simply did what had to be done in order to procure ingredients for Katalina.

Vira: Besides, I had little choice once it was established that I was acquainted with you three.

Tomoi: Man, I can't stop thinking about that weirdo shopkeep's way of talking. "I do say, I do say," bleh.

Lowain: F'real. I kept callin' the dude a Pommern lackey in my head.

Elsam: ...

Elsam: So, Vira, why do you think that Pommern copycat wouldn't take our word?

Vira: Hm?

Elsam: I, like, can't wrap my head around it, ya know? I just wanna know what made him change his mind so fast.

Vira: I couldn't say for sure, but his reasoning about selling only to worthy customers seemed honest enough.

Lowain: So the dude was sayin' we royally blow?

Vira: Indeed. By his standards at least. He appeared to be judging his customers mainly based on poise and hairstyle.

Vira: Perhaps he might have treated you differently had you gone in formal wear.

Tomoi: You mean like TPO—time, place, and occasion? Hm, didn't even occur to me. You rock, Vira.

Elsam: ...

Vira: If you plan on visiting similar shops in the future, do let me know. I'll gladly lend my assistance with anything concerning Katalina.

Leaving those words behind, Vira takes off.

Elsam: ...

Elsam: Dress code, hairstyle...
C, P, O, was it?

Lowain: Yep, that's how the crazy thing went down and led to this.

Tomoi: My bad, (Captain)... It's all my fault for runnin' lame acronyms like TPO off my mouth...

Apprehension in their hearts, Tomoi and Lowain turn to the transformed Elsam.

Elsam: I, your dearest Elsam, have decided to officially join the PPO movement—to change myself for the better.

Tomoi: We keep tellin' him he's getting it all wrong, but Elsam's not hearin' it...

Lowain: Aw man, what a jam...

Unable to revert their friend back to his normal state, Tomoi and Lowain are listless.

Only time will tell if Elsam will ever be his brosome self again.

---

Back to top

From TPO to CEO

That night Lowain and Tomoi urge Elsam to revert back to his brosome ways by presenting him with hair gel he previously bought for a mixer. Neither side is willing to compromise, so Lowain has no choice but to give Elsam's hair hell.

---

Lowain: Aight, let's get ready to dish out the grub, dudes.

Tomoi: Roj!

Elsam: But of course.

The Grandcypher galley is as busy as ever.

Lowain's buds carry the dishes to the mess hall.

Tomoi: We're havin' meat-lover's fried noodles sprinkled with the bestest herbs and spices.

Lyria: Yum! Today's food looks really good!

Elsam: May I suggest dipping the noodles into some of this scrumptious sweet and sour sauce? Your taste buds will thank you for a most flavorful meal.

Vyrn: R-right...

Vyrn: ((Captain), Elsam's not himself. What's up with him?)

(Captain) can do naught but shrug.

The other crew members are starting to see the change in Elsam too. Something must be done soon.

Lowain: Looks like the rest of the fam is startin' to worry.

Tomoi: Sure seems that way...

Tomoi: I can tell Sammy's really pushin' himself too. 'Specially with the way he talks.

Lowain: F'real. If Sammy keeps up this royal metamorphosis...

Lowain: Worst-case scenario, dude's gonna go insane in the membrane.

Tomoi: First order of business is gettin' that hair back on track...

(Captain) offers a helping hand, but Lowain and Tomoi shake their heads.

Lowain: 'Preciate the gesture, (Captain), but we wanna see how much we can do for our bro.

Tomoi: Just give us one chance to show Sammy the light. I'm sure he'll come around if we show him this...

Tomoi places a small bottle on the table.

Lowain: Oh, that? Hm, we might actually pull this off...

Lowain: All righty... We've got our ace in the hole. Let's go to war.

Lowain and Tomoi are primed for battle.

The fated confrontation comes to pass that very night shortly after supper.

Elsam: ...

Lowain & Tomoi: ...

Lowain: Yo, Sammy. Whaddya think of goin' back to your ol' hairstyle and mannerisms?

Elsam: I must refute the possibility of that ever happening. I will stop at nothing to uphold my royal bearing in perfect correspondence with the BPO.

Tomoi: Dude, you're getting it all wrong! I'm gonna tell it like it is!

Tomoi: TPO means you gotta look at the timing to wrap up a party and own up to anything wack you've done!

Elsam: Speak as you will, but I've come much too far to concede now.

Lowain: Aight, you asked for it...

Lowain whips out the bottle from earlier.

Elsam: My word!

It turns out to be the bottle of hair gel that Elsam once eagerly purchased in preparation for a get-together with the girls in the crew.

Lowain: Sammy... That stiff hairdo ain't you, man!

Lowain: You like your hair all soft and fluffy with a few bangs for good measure! And this fancy-pantsy stuff gets the job done!

Elsam: ...!

Elsam: I've parted ways with that hair gel for good.

Lowain: Change it back already!

Elsam: I will not!

Tomoi: Yes, you will!

Elsam: I refuse!

Their glares grow more menacing with each passing second.

Tomoi: Dude, we ain't gettin' anywhere. Sammy's sold out to his new hair gel.

Lowain: Yeah, I see that. We're gonna have to beat some sense into him.

Lowain: We'll just have to ruffle up a few hairs and show him what's up.

Lowain: We'll make this snappy, bro!

Lowain & Tomoi: Dye!

From TPO to CEO: Scene 2

Elsam gives after a brief tussle. He recalls a childhood memory which proved Lowain's culinary skills to him—to see Chef Lowain disrespected by some merchant based on his looks alone was heartbreaking, and Elsam was only trying to ameliorate the pain he felt. They chat it up late into the night, until an incensed Vira unleashes her wrath on them.

---

Knowing each other's tricks inside out from all their time together, the bros end up dragging the brawl on for much too long.

Lowain and Tomoi finally find an opening in Elsam's defense.

Lowain: Now, Tommy!

Tomoi: Roj!

Elsam: ...!

Tomoi responds to Lowain's gesture and circles behind Elsam.

Tomoi: Armlock engaged! Your turn, Lowain!

Lowain: Roj...

Elsam: Wh-what's your next move, Lowain?

Lowain: ...

Lowain does not utter a word, simply extending a hand to Elsam's hair.

Elsam: No, you will not—

Elsam: Dude! You have any idea how much time I spent every morning getting this done?

Lowain: Forgive me, bro.

Elsam: Gwaaagh!

Elsam: ...

Elsam's stiff hairdo wouldn't budge for the longest time, but it has now regained freedom at last.

Lowain and Tomoi approach the collapsed Elsam.

Lowain: Sammy... You awake?

Elsam: Lowain, I...

Tomoi: Tell me, Sammy, what got into ya? We don't have a clue as to how this could've happened.

Elsam: I...

Elsam speaks in pained grunts.

Elsam: I guess I never got over how that shopkeep dissed your cooking, Lowain...

Elsam: (Reminds me of back when we were still little sprouts. I remember it like it was yesterday...)

Boyfriend: Was totally my bad for bailing on our date last week, but can't we let bygones be bygones?

Girlfriend: Humph... A free meal's not gonna make up for the humiliation you put me through!

Young Lowain: Erm... 'Scuse me there, lovey-doveys. Mind if I chime in?

Elsam: (Lowain went right up to this couple having a lover's spat...)

Young Lowain: Have some of this soup. I made it on the fly.

Boyfriend: Hm? But we didn't order anything...

Young Lowain: It's an appetizer. Grandma ordered me to make some and serve it to you.

Boyfriend: Well, I don't see why not...

Girlfriend: ...

Elsam: (I'll never forget that chick's face when Lowain put the soup down in front of her...)

Girlfriend: It smells really good...

Girlfriend: ...!

Young Lowain: Best eat up before it gets cold.

Girlfriend: ...

Elsam: All it took was one sniff for the two to stop fighting.

Elsam: They had the rest of their meal in peace... I've had mad respect for Lowain ever since then.

Tomoi: I remember that. Lowain's granny sending him into the ring was a shock, but the power of Lowain's soup was a double shock.

Elsam: I bet if some of that went around during the War, everyone woulda stopped fighting early on.

Lowain: ...

Elsam: That's why I couldn't stand that stuck-up Pommern knockoff. If only he knew...

Elsam: Sniff... I'm gettin' salty just thinking about it.

Tomoi: Yeah, I kinda got those vibes too...

Elsam: That's why I set out to reach royal heights—to take charge of the situation instead of leaving it all to Vira!

Lowain: Sammy... Tommy...

Lowain: Dude! There's no need to shoulder the burden alone! You gotta consider our feelings too!

Elsam: I... I don't care! Ngh! I'd do anything... to stand up for... Lowain's grub!

Lowain: You're not listenin', fam! D'you have any idea how hard it's been on us seeing you go off the deep end lately?

Their respect and consideration for each other is mutual—if somewhat steered the wrong way.

But it is from the heart, and that's what matters most.

Tomoi: So, like, I guess you could say our hearts are one?

Lowain & Elsam: Word up.

Tomoi: Anyways, we'd better keep it down. We make too much noise this time of day, and someone's gonna come out to hand us our booties—

Vira: ...

The Trio: ...!

Vira: What's with all this racket so late at night?

Lowain: Erm... Sorry. We're just about done...

Vira: My dearest Katalina is going to have her beauty sleep soon. You would dare to disturb that?

Lowain: Well, we were just about to head back, so...

Vira: Silence! Your insolence will not be tolerated!

Tomoi: Whoa! Lowain, Vira's gone full-on Luminiera on us!

Lowain: Oh snap! She's not lookin' very friendly, is she!

Elsam: Lowain!

Lowain: We didn't come out here to bond only to get creamed right after!

Tomoi: Our hearts are one now, Lowain... We can totally take her on!

Lowain: Okay! There's only one way to stomp a Luminiera-fied Vira!

Lowain: It's time for our ultimate form, brofams!

Lowain: H!

Elsam: P!

Tomoi: A!

Lowain: Jeah!

The Trio: Human Pyramid Attack!

From TPO to CEO: Scene 3

After a clash with Vira, the bros realize that she has gradually been warming up to them. They spend the night trying out Elsam's new hair gel and continue partying through the morning with funky hairdos.

---

The Trio: Pant... Wheeze...

Vira: Huff... Anyhow! Just stay quiet for the rest of the night, won't you?

The Trio: Our bad...

After verifying that the Lowain bros have gone silent, Vira snorts in disgust and walks off.

Tomoi: Dude, I thought we were goners.

Elsam: It's all my fault. The whole mess started with me...

Tomoi: F'real though, how long has it been since Vira last gave us a spankin'? She came so suddenly I almost wet myself.

Lowain: This wouldn't have happened if only I noticed your feelings sooner, Sammy...

Tomoi: Same goes for me, bro...

Tomoi: ...

Tomoi: Seriously, how long has it been since Vira last whooped our butts though?

Elsam: Nah, you gotta remember she wouldn't even talk to us back in the day.

Lowain: Yeah, most she'd do is give us a cold stare from a distance as we sipped on our soups.

Lowain: We've been on the G. Cyph for a while now, and Vira's definitely warmed up to us over time.

The Trio: ...

Tomoi: I'd say we're definitely on the right track.

Elsam: Is it cool if I change my hairstyle back?

Tomoi: You can play poser all you want, but it's never gonna make you the royal peep you wanna be—regardless of TPO.

Lowain: Just like how Vira's gradually gotten used to us...

Lowain: It oughta be cool if we take it nice and slow, shootin' the breeze and playin' out our fantasies at the ol' joint all the while.

Tomoi: You said it, bro. Instant metamorphosis'll always be a no-go for me.

Lowain: Like, playboys gonna playboy, ya know?

Elsam & Tomoi: Word up.

Elsam: Shoot, that's deep...

Lowain: You ever consider that maybe Vira came out to teach us a lesson we'll never forget?

The bros silently enjoy the night breeze for some time.

Lowain: Sammy, how's that hair gel feel on ya anyway?

Elsam: Totes works like a charm for putting my hair in place. Don't even have to touch my hair for the rest of the day.

Tomoi: Yeah? Show me.

Elsam: You oughta know that ain't gonna be a cakewalk. Hope you're ready for an all-nighter—'cuz that's what it'll take...

Back to their good old selves, the trio continues chewing the fat with hair gel as the main topic of conversation.

The next morning...

Vira: Hrrgh... It sure took me a long time to fall asleep after that...

Vira is stretching out her arms while bathing in the sun's rays.

Vira: Hm?

Suspicious silhouettes appear before her.

Lowain: Damn, bro. This might be more trouble than it's worth.

Tomoi: Nah, check this out. I think we got it to stay in place. All-nighter was worth it.

Elsam: Any time you wanna make a tweak, just add a bit of heat with a curling iron and...

Vira: ...

Lowain: Vira! What's shakin', bacon?

Elsam & Tomoi: What's shakin', bacon?

Lowain: We tried imitatin' Sammy's new style for ourselves. Whaddya think?

Vira: ...

Vira: You're asking me?

...

Looks fine to me...

Lowain: Whoa-ho-ho! Vira just tooted our horn!

The Trio: Wahey!

Vira: ...

Vira: Heh...

Though Vira was just being diplomatic, the bros are ecstatic.

She leaves them with somewhat of a mocking smile as she departs for breakfast.

It may have been a rocky start, but the Lowain trio finally calm down and are ready to accept a gradual change in themselves.

As long as they persist, perhaps they will one day reach royal heights rivaling that of even Vira.

---

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Side-scrolling Quotes

JapaneseThis is an official transcription.	EnglishThis is an official translation.
俺もイメチェンすっかー	I oughta change my look too!
パフェ的な奴、クリームマシマシで！	I'll have the parfait thing with creamy marshmallows!
夜のシーメーＤｏすっかな	So what's on the menu for tonight?
ポテ盛りさんにチーズ乗せちゃう？	How 'bout some cheese to go with the fries?
ちょ…やばたにえんじゃね？	Ermahgerd...
オイオイオイパネェのキタコレ	Oh snap, can you believe this?
ゴリラってマッチョはマジで森にいんのな	So they've really got machos called gorillas in the jungle?
(主人公)、モンティー飲むべ？	(Captain), you up for some lemon tea?
自分、マジテッペン獲るんで	I'll be numero uno before you know it!
(主人公)の背中目指しちゃいますか～！	I'll catch up to you one day, (Captain)!